yxalitis Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I finally left my ex because she simply wasn't invested enough in our relationship to actually compromise her odd and excessive (IMHO) requirements for "space" (click here for details . She was adamant that she had done no wrong, I was impatient, I only had to give her two weeks sleeping in another room (immediately after she returned form 6 weeks overseas) with no physical contact that we could have: "got back to our lovely life" I moved out, and as I handed her the keys, she once again launched into aa speech that basically meant if I leave, no second chances... Then as I am driving, she calls me...and talks again about what went wrong, why she thinks she compromised enough...etc. Then the next day, out of the blue she texts me, telling me how good it was to be able to relax on the couch and watch TV...alone. God Damn I have wanted to just sit and relax with her like that for months, but she's always too busy, or prefers to watch her own shows in Chinese...! Anyway, the next day after I've moved out, another text session... Her: How is your new home by the way? Me: It's great..we sat on the couch watching tv together, drinking wine, talking..really nice. Her: What? Oh you mean with your new flatmate is it? Me: Yes...of course... Her: Okok... thats great! Then you can jump in her bed tonight already Haha Thats what you did huh Anyway... not my business Me: No... Her: Hope you find your happiness though Me:* I'm not attracted to her that way I need some time anyway... Her: Kylie:*Oh well... Me: Not rushing in to anything Her: Mmm... if u really can control yourself that way it would be better for your future Thats good Me: Yes...I know Her: I hope we can always talk huh Hehe Me:* Long time no sex... Her:* Sad After that I helped her with a job application, and she's as nice as pie... Thoughts?
tylerj Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Nothing to suggest she wants to get back together from that. She wants to still maintain contact - probably because she wants to use you as a safety net / friendly figure. But it is over. This is one of those things I've seen countless times on LS in the past few weeks. When you are removed from the situation like myself and other posters will be, it is a lot clearer. And the advice will be - No contact. Block her and make no attempt to reach out to her in any way. This will be hard, and probably for the first few days you'll not take this advice (most of us have been there too). But the sooner you can do that, the better off you will be in the long run. 1
elaine567 Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Although you moved out, she by her actions in effect dumped you, so you are the dumpee. She is doing the "lets just be friends" behaviour that dumpers tend to engage in. You get excited thinking she means more, but you are wrong. Unless this girl says "I made a mistake, I treated you badly and I want to get back together", then the rest is just the "friendly" chat of the dumper, who doesn't mind having you in her life, but doesn't want to go back to the way you were. Watch out, because you are "just friends" right? Friends discuss everything and one day she will ask your advice re a new guy. That is why most dumpees go NC as they cannot bear just being friends.
joseb Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Then the next day, out of the blue she texts me, telling me how good it was to be able to relax on the couch and watch TV...alone. .... After that I helped her with a job application, and she's as nice as pie... Nope- sounds like she is happy being alone and happy to use you in any way she can. 1
Author yxalitis Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 Thanks everyone. What about the jealous "Sleeping with your new flatmate" nonsense? She is very good at putting up a brave "I'm right" face. Now I'm not saying I want her back, unless, as remarked above, I get a clear: "I made a mistake, I treated you badly and I want to get back together" If that happens, we'll see...but I'm not expecting it...even if she thinks it, she's too stubborn to admit it to me. All the communication so far has been from her. I haven't initiated any. This morning she texted me...her location. One of those "Find me" apps shared via What's App. No other text, just that. I replied with my address, as I realized I hadn't given that to her yet, for mail and stuff. If she wanted my address, why not just...ask? "I have some mail, what's your address?"
Recommended Posts