GTR King Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) What things would be a red flag or put you off someone when dating them?? Have you ever dated something who has or do things that would normally put you off? Things that put me off when dating Smoking Tattoos (Don't mind small ones if not visible) Drinking/Clubbing everyweekend (Don't mind once or twice a month at most) Drugs Pearcings (Don't mind ears or something small) Children is a big no for me (But do won't kids in the future if they are mine) Am I being to picky??? I am 24 (25 in August) I just wonderd what things turn you off when dating. Sorry if this post not allowed Edited May 25, 2015 by GTR King
Syberia Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 The only things out of the ones you listed that would bother me are smoking (huge no-no) and going clubbing all the time. And being a drunk/druggie. As you get older, children are going to start coming with the territory. Borrowed from another thread, not having a job/car or living with parents past a certain age would also be turn-offs. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Dishonesty is the biggest. Mean spirited or having hate for stuff. 3
Author GTR King Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 Yeah I do like a girl who is honest & tells you what's on her mind
todreaminblue Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 drinking,smoking, doing drugs, heavy partier, mean spirited , judgemental on others....racist, hates animals, arrogant, sleazy, sneaky,disrespectful to women, lying, disloyal to friends and family......and i would find it hard to date a person who ridiculed me about me having faith in god....or people who do have faith in god.....deb 1
Gloria25 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 -Lack of confidence (we're all scared, ok, but even if you have to "fake" it, don't be a pushover). As long as you show some initiative and willingness to learn, I'll work with you. -Bad in bed. Again, I'll work with someone - but if you think that sex is just climbing on top of someone and using them like a human masturbation device is sex, then get lost. -Someone who is not intuitive/caring. I think a key thing in a RL requires "paying attention" - even in the bedroom and if you are just "there" but not "present" then forget it. I pay attention, it helps me figure out how to make that person happy. So, if you aren't paying attention - pretty much means that you don't care about making anyone other than yourself happy. -Lazy, fat/obese -Druggies (including marijuana) -No life, hobbies, etc. All they do is work/school and lock themselves indoors and won't even go out to walk their dog around the block and that ties into being lazy and cruelty to animals. -Lack of hygiene -Irresponsible -Lack of religious belief. If you do not believe in a Higher Power, then I wonder "if" you have any characters/morals/values and how can I trust you if you have none of those and/or a connection with God? I'm not perfect, but my connection with God, IMO, has kept me in line and made/makes me a caring person. -Lack of involvement in the community. We do not live in a bubble. We depend on each other. People have extended their hands and homes to me and my family over the years and thank God for them. If you only volunteer to get college credit, and are so selfish/lazy to not even give out candies for Halloween, then get lost. Volunteering isn't a full time job. You can do like 2 hrs one one Saturday a month to make a difference in someone's life. This also ties into that person's connection with God and their character/morals/values. -Extroverts. While I get out and do stuff, I don't have to be the "life of the party" and/or have people coming in/out my home on the regular. -Liars, manipulators, narcissists, jealous, abusive, controlling. I lumped these all together cuz usually the person who is one of these is the others. In other words, a jealous person who is controlling is usually a narcissist and will lie and manipulate you...and, even resort to abuse if you don't bend so that they can control you. -Poor relationships with other people (i.e. no connection with others like a friend and/or family). I'm not dating you to become your "life". If you have no other friends, interests and don't do things with your family then something's wrong. I'm not a "social" person, but I have a friend or two and enjoy cooking and stuff with my family. -Game players, gas lighters, manipulators - who toy with your emotions to fill their egos then wanna turn around and blame "you" and call you mean and whatever cuz you're hurt and expressing a lot of things - while "mean" are pretty much the truth, but they held back from saying so cuz at one point they cared about your feelings and now they don't cuz same way you don't give a hoot about them and are using them for your ego boost - same way they could care less if you are hurt by the "mean" things they have to say about you and your situation - which pretty much are true. Also, the game players, gas lighters and/or manipulators who will do anything to get your attention - even play games to make you jealous. Like flirt with another girl in front of you and/or find out something you like then go do it for someone else to make fun of you - like "Look what I did for her, ha ha...sucks it ain't you, now go away cuz I don't like you". Like they'll do anything to get your attention - even bad things. My doggy, he is something else. He follows me around all the time. There was a time that when I left him outside, he'd poop in the yard where he normally poops, then picks up the poop and drops it at the doorstep - cuz he wants to get my attention. I guess cuz he sees me pick up the poop in the yard and when I walk him, he figures putting the poop by the door is gonna be a "bad" way to get my attention. He notices that I pick up sticks in the yard, so over the weekend he picked up a stick and put it by the doorstep...boy, he's trying hard to get my attention and I don't know why. He already has it And this list is quite exhaustive, but if I'm dating someone for something serious - then YES, these things are important to me. If you're some idiot I'm just gonna have good times, sex, and giggles with - these things I listed may turn me off a bit, but I "might" tolerate it cuz you're not someone I see myself longterm with.
endlessabyss Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 skanky feet turn me off HAHA thought I was the only one who cared about this. First thing I look at is a girls face (healthy frame is pre req.), and than I look to see how pretty her feet are. Tall girls is a deal breaker (anything above 5'7) Broad shoulders, NOPE. Personality could sway me but pretty face, short, and pretty feet is a must.
Gloria25 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 -Judgmental. While I hate the "don't judge me" phrase that lots of people spew, but I hate it when people get intimidated and/or reach conclusions about me w/o even giving me a chance. Just cuz I invite you over for a beer doesn't mean I'm doing it for every guy I see and believe it or not, I'm going on 3 years w/o sex with a man (including Bill Clinton's version of "sex"). Also, I'm like a Rottie - big, tough, intimidating - but a big puppy who will curl up in your arms and protect and love you if you just took the time to know me and not be scared. Don't have time for guys who think I'm "out of their league"...**pffft** Pleeeze already.
Gloria25 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 skanky feet turn me off Agreed... As a female, I do my own pedi/mani and cannot stand chicks who don't take care of their feet. A friend of a friend was invited to a military ball and wore strappy shoes - showing her toe nails - which were chippy to say the least. She didn't care. She also kept a nasty condo, car, and somehow got married...Well, now divorced. Nasty and lazy ain't gonna change...chippy toe nails are an indication of things to come...
Gloria25 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 What things would be a red flag or put you off someone when dating them?? Have you ever dated something who has or do things that would normally put you off? Things that put me off when dating Smoking Tattoos (Don't mind small ones if not visible) Drinking/Clubbing everyweekend (Don't mind once or twice a month at most) Drugs Pearcings (Don't mind ears or something small) Children is a big no for me (But do won't kids in the future if they are mine) Am I being to picky??? I am 24 (25 in August) I just wonderd what things turn you off when dating. Sorry if this post not allowed No, I think your list is ok... But, I do have tattoos and piercings, so while I disagree, I understand and respect your preference.
CarrieT Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Much of what others have posted (including smoking), but a huge deal-breaker for me were those guys who were sports-obsessed... When I was doing online dating, I would often ask what a typical Sunday afternoon was like for them. If they mentioned football, it was an immediately deal-breaker for me. 1
Gloria25 Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Much of what others have posted (including smoking), but a huge deal-breaker for me were those guys who were sports-obsessed... When I was doing online dating, I would often ask what a typical Sunday afternoon was like for them. If they mentioned football, it was an immediately deal-breaker for me. Look, as long as they don't want me wear a baggy jersey and/or go to every game with them. That ties into them having a "life" besides me. I can entertain their game-buddies at our place and enjoy serving them wings and beer - then go into my room and catch up with ID. Alyssa Milano, a while back, came out with some sexy NFL gear. No way am I going to a game with my man wearing some oversized jersey and/or painting my face. I'm his "woman" not "one of the boys"...And, I'm sure he'd take pride in having his sexy woman on his arm to show off... Alyssa Milano Clothing - Buy Touch by Alyssa Milano from NFLShop.com
No Limit Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) Smoking is a no-go for me as well. Druggies or drunks are such a big taboo they aren't even on my no-list because they're far beyond being considered at all. Tattoos are fine, but piercings are my attraction's natural enemy it seems - when my 1st love got one I fell out of love instantly, after almost 4 years. But I definitely hav eno trouble about sports. I'm usually not into football - well, until the World Champions League hit the TV channels. If he's passionate about his sport chances are I'll be too in a matter of days. Edited May 26, 2015 by No Limit 1
johan Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Obesity to the extent she can't leave the house would cause me to think twice. Male genitalia would probably be a deal-breaker. 3
alphamale Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Nasty and lazy ain't gonna change...chippy toe nails are an indication of things to come... yes, how a woman takes care of her feet is indicative of her view on life. luckily most women do spend some time on them. the foot fetish is the most common type of fetish among men. i wish more women knew this fact 2
johndoe2 Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Obesity to the extent she can't leave the house would cause me to think twice. Male genitalia would probably be a deal-breaker. My sentiments as well. To qualify your first statement: If she can leave the house but needs to get on a rascal to do so, then that too. Really, if you have two operational legs and an intact spine, you don't get a rascal. You should have to crawl until you lose enough weight to walk. 1
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I try to focus on the positives normally; that being said, apart from the obvious, lack of generosity (of spirit, of time or anything else) is a major deal-breaker for me. 1
Author GTR King Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 I don't like it when a girl parties nearly ever weekend & makes hardly zany time for me. Do like to spend time with them. I would like it if the drove/past there driving test but can date some who don't drive
ZA Dater Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 My list is a long one : poor speech : poor language : poor vocab : obese : poor general knowledge : smoking : lack of ambition : kids : bad accent. : ugly face Likely to get lambasted by some for this list.
Author GTR King Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 those things are ok So you wouldn't date someone with a bad accent?? As long as i can understand them I don't mind what there accent sounds like
kendahke Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 At 55, my list is: Financially responsible Takes care of their health/exercises Doesn't drink/do drugs/gambles/whoremongering Kids are grown, out of the house and responsible for themselves. A guy with grown children who are still acting like children means that he can't put his foot down when it comes to them. He has to have activities/interests outside of sitting on the couch watching Netflix. Has good hygiene Doesn't have a whole bunch of thirsty, desperate women hanging around. Can still get it up and use it well Knows his way around a woman's body At my age, I'm not as willing as I used to be to take on renovation projects. Either he's done all of his retrofitting already or he's still a starter dude and I don't have time for those.
TunaCat Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 1. Not being close with their family. I am very close to my family and I will not date someone who isn't close with their own family. 2. Not liking animals. Animal protection is one of those things I am very passionate about. 3. Smoker. I have health issues and being around a smoker would not be good for me. 4. Excessive drinker. Drinking socially is fine, but if you can't go a day without drinking, we won't be good together. 5. Drugs. Not even marijuana.I don't mind marijuana, but I just couldn't be around it at all.
cessna Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I've seen drinking come up quite a few times on these lists which surprises me. Where are you guys living if it's not normal to drink?
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