kfm Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) Met a girl online around my age last week (early 30's). Ended up going to a restaurant for a meal and stayed till closing. Got on really great and seemed to have a lot of similarities. I had picked her up and on going back to the car, I suggested we grab a drink as things seemed to be going well. She agreed and ended up actually bumping into some of her friends. I got on well with everyone and stayed till closing. So in all about 7 hours of a 1st date. Dropped her home and told her I'd had a great time and would like to do it again some time if she'd like. She seemed keen enough and replied yes. We were messaging each other the next day, and I thanked her again for last night & repeated that it would be great to meet up again some time. She said thanks so much for last night and said had a great time....but didn't answer about meeting up again! We continued messaging through the day and she sent me photos of her cooking etc. and still seemed to get on great. Was in touch today but she seemed quite short on her replies. Asked her how her day had gone and she said she was tired today and as was working a 24 hour shift tomorrow so was going to bed. So end of that conversation! Wished her the best for tomorrow and she replied thanks a million! Reading this it might seem obvious that that 2nd date probably isn't going to happen! Though it's hard to know in the context of how well we seemed to get on. Maybe she was just genuinely tired but whenever you get short replies, you tend to assume the writing is on the wall. Of course, when she agreed to a 2nd date in person could easily be due to avoiding any undue embarassment or discomfort by saying no. Do people actually decline dates in person when you ask them on the spot? This girl models part-time so let's just say she's likely not short on offers! I'm going to leave it for the time being and maybe text her back in a few days time if I don't hear from her. I'd rather just hear "I had a great time but I'm just not interested" as opposed to on-going communication and kinda wondering where i stand. When i text her next, will probably just ask her would she like to go on a 2nd date and I'll guess we'll know for sure then! Have been on quite a few dates with a lot of women which didn't really do it for me but this one had a spark. Given that i'm quite picky with women, when you finally find one you get on with and who attracts you, you obviously hope that something might come out of it! Edited May 25, 2015 by kfm
La.Primavera Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I'm going to leave it for the time being and maybe text her back in a few days time I think that is a good idea. Some people don't like to rush into something quickly. She is still talking to you so it's not your typical fade situation. She hasn't ruled you out at all. Just give it some time and feel free to go on dates with other people until you become exclusive. 2
babycakees Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I tend to think she really might have been tired. I would let it be for a couple of days, then text her like you said and asked her on that second date. Have a day, time and idea ready to go so it's a simple "yes" or "no, thanks". Good luck!
abby_tx Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I read the subject and immediately thought my response to your question would be "drop it" but I agree with babycakees. She does just seem tired. The first date sounds really great and her replies all sound positive. I would never send a picture of myself cooking if I didn't like a guy. ha. Back off a bit, but don't assume the worst!
computersandsuch Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Give her a couple of days. She might be genuinely tired and you don't want to appear over eager. She won't lose interest in you after a day or two if she really was actually keen on you.
Standard-Fare Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Definitely back off on that constant texting. Just because you guys had a good first date doesn't mean you're now an important person in her life who deserves to know all about her daily habits. After easing up on that, in a few days you should just ask her directly for a second date. Propose a definite time/place. If she's interested in you, she'll respond positively. If she leaves you hanging, you'll have your answer. It's a mistake to try to do all this "getting to know you" stuff via text. You should be getting to know each other in person.
introverted1 Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 You went on a date and she agreed then that she'd like to see you again. So your next move should have been to actually ask her out. Instead, you made a non-specific comment: "it would be great to meet up again some time." Since she'd already answered this in the affirmative, I'm guessing she's now waiting for you to actually ask her on date #2. 1
Author kfm Posted May 28, 2015 Author Posted May 28, 2015 (edited) Gave it a few days before texting her again. Asked hew how she was and if she was up for meeting again. I suggested this festival that was on at the weekend which could be fun. And...didn't receive an answer. Did reveive one however next morning which said "sorry for late reply, work was busy and I'm so tired. I'm going to be tied up for the next while but thanks a mill for a great suggestion!" So dead in the water Text her back thanking her and saying had enjoyed her company but that was totally cool and wished her all the best for the summer. Finito So that's that. The rejection totally rocked me as trying to figure out what she didn't like given in my mind things were going great with texting after the first date etc. But naturally, I don't know what she's thinking and while we'll all say move on, its tough when a girl who's literally a model and a fun person to boot passes you by. Haven't come across too many of them unfortunately. It's weird, i've been to quite a few dates and have turned down so many 2nd dates but the only 2 or so I actually like, I get turned down! You do start questioning am I doing something wrong, is it just a compatibility issue? I'm a decent looking guy who's fairly chatty, laid back and who works as a doctor with a decent income. It's like, what do these women want exactly? I should add I'm using Tinder to find dates and wondering if the women on this are of a certain character... I know it's just down to compatibility but it's amazing what a little rejection will do to your self-esteem. Edited May 28, 2015 by kfm
misspond Posted May 28, 2015 Posted May 28, 2015 It's just dating. It's a bugger of a thing in this day and age. Good luck next time.
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