Charlotted29 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I'm 29 and I met a 22 yr old guy at my local gym. He was new to the area after living abroad for the past 7 years but came back to visit his parents for 3-4 months. We had so much in common, a scary amount! Both lovers of the outdoors and being creative. He seemed excited to meet me as I did him, I knew we could have a lot of fun and adventures together. We met a few days later and had a brilliant day hiking with a picnic and getting to know one another. He was so funny, energetic and sweet. I really wanted to help him settle in to the UK and show what we have on offer! Help him out with the contacts I had for work and just meeting new people. The next day we did some gym training together, where after I was invited back to his...and I stayed over and we did the deed. (That soon - I know). Now i'm not silly, I knew this probably wouldn't really go anywhere but if it did great! At the very least, I expected to be treated with respect. What followed was him making plans and not following through, being distant and going days without contact from him. 4 times we made plans, for him to flake out on me (notice I said flake and not cancel, he couldn't even be bothered to cancel) as he was 'busy'. I started to think what on earth have I done, i've clearly got this guy all wrong and i've been totally played. The 4th time he flaked I lost it... I told him he can't keep treating me like an option and being so disrespectful. Friend or more than a friend it wasn't on. He stood his ground and said he was busy, that he was back here for specific reasons (training, learning to drive etc) and he had to stay focused. I said this was no excuse. He really didn't seem impressed by my behaviour and I was called a princess, drama queen... I apologised the next day for perhaps over reacting but that I felt pretty hurt. He said let's meet at 10pm but I was so tired from work. During this 2-3 week period he then told me he was going back to Austria in a couple of days, which took me by surprise. I said lets meet up before he goes back (he had something of mine) and I wanted to say bye. He said he was happy chilling at home.... ouch. I thought well that's that, but then I got a text on the day of his leaving saying goodbye, thanks for showing him around and it was nice to of met me. I didn't text back until 10 hours later because I was at work all day and I didn't know what to say to be honest, I was still hurt and confused. That evening I checked facebook and to my horror he had not only deleted me, but blocked me too! WHAT!? He had blocked me? I was going to delete him! Can anyone explain what might of been going on in his head and why he has behaved this way? Since this happened, I have been feeling extremely low and down. This was such a blow and has hit my self esteem hard I couldn't of done any more to be nice and a good friend!
CarrieT Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Everything I got from your post was that you were projecting more on him - in hope and expectations - than he was capable of and was disappointed when he didn't act the way you expected. You should never have apologized because you didn't overreact if he made plans kept canceling. YOU should have been the one to un-friend him on FB and just move on. He wasn't available for what you wanted. 2
Author Charlotted29 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 I understand now that I was probably too hopeful of what was to come, I was excited that I met someone with similar interests...and I shouldn't of apologised either. However, does that really justify deleting and blocking me? Seems so extreme!
CarrieT Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 However, does that really justify deleting and blocking me? Seems so extreme! He's 22. Which means he is mentally the equivalent to 18; i.e., immature. You pushed and not knowing how to be a grown-up, he did what any CHILD would do and play the deleting and blocking card. You dodged a bullet here... 1
Author Charlotted29 Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 That makes a lot of sense Carrie Thank you so much
AGoodFriend Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Let me tell you from a male point of view. He was only visiting for a little bit of time and only looking to have fun. On on the other hand, you were looking for a relationship and thought that maybe you could have something with him. You guys have similar interests, so that definitely spurred your hopes on a bit. Unfortunately, he did not think the same. Perhaps you could have waited a little longer to sleep with him, but in the end, even if you had waited a month, he was still leaving no matter what. Plus he's really young and "looking to see the world." Once you become too pushy, you scared him away. The fact that he deleted you from FB and blocked you clearly affirms this. I think that the fact he deleted you will actually help you, however. You will get over him a lot faster if you can't see his image or contact him anymore. A lot faster. Take this one as a learning experience. The next time around, you will be a lot more cautious. Good luck. 1
stillafool Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I think he was just there for his business and you happened to have sex with him. You wanted more and he didn't. He thanked you for what you did but since he was moving on anyway he blocked you because that was the end with you. He probably does this whereever he goes. His mind is on his goals and if sex happens to fall into his lap the way it did with you he will take it. I don't think you were played because you are 7 years older than him and slept with him right away because you wanted to. 1
AGoodFriend Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 P.S., I've been in the same situation as you before, and it sucks, so I know how you feel.
GoldenGirl2015 Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 He basically said good riddance so F him. I can't believe how some guys really think it's ok to treat women like they're garbage disposals. Ugh
SammySammy Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 You said you were going to delete him. Why are you so upset that he beat you to the punch by deleting and blocking you first?
preraph Posted June 12, 2015 Posted June 12, 2015 He's moved on. He was polite and gave you a nice goodbye to show he did appreciate your company while it lasted, but he's moved on and blocking you from FB was the right thing to do.
MGX Posted June 13, 2015 Posted June 13, 2015 I understand now that I was probably too hopeful of what was to come, I was excited that I met someone with similar interests...and I shouldn't of apologised either. However, does that really justify deleting and blocking me? Seems so extreme! He moved on. So should you.
Recommended Posts