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Urges to contact and sadness


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Posted

I had this relationship with a guy that lasted longer than it should have been. From the beginning, he was trouble and hurt me but I was blind and naive. I was in love with him and he took advantage of this so he could have sex with me.

I was infatuated. Sex was the best I've ever had in my entire life. He was so charming and handsome!

 

He was a player. A liar. A cheater. A narcissist. I finally blocked him and I started no contact 8 weeks ago.

 

I have the urge to unblock him now. To look for him. Is he still single? I want to know. How is he doing?

 

He made me break up with him (? he's a coward he cannot even do that! He told me he wasn't in love with me though!)

 

But now...I miss him. I feel like I'll never be ok again. Feeling so low now. I have s headache I had to leave work early and now I at home, missing him and having the urge to see what is he doing. I know it's useless. But I want to know!)

Posted

He is toxic for you. Don't volunteer for another dose of the toxin.

 

Do you really want to see photos of him and some girl he met in a bar?

 

That's probably what you'll see, if you snoop.

 

Call on your adult resources, and use them to resist this temptation.

 

Keep that door closed.

 

Good luck.

  • Author
Posted
He is toxic for you. Don't volunteer for another dose of the toxin.

 

Do you really want to see photos of him and some girl he met in a bar?

 

That's probably what you'll see, if you snoop.

 

Call on your adult resources, and use them to resist this temptation.

 

Keep that door closed.

 

Good luck.

 

Thank you. I won't snoop. I know that's not good for me.

 

I wonder when I'll feel ok again because as now, I'm really sad and hopeless

  • Like 1
Posted
Thank you. I won't snoop. I know that's not good for me.

 

I wonder when I'll feel ok again because as now, I'm really sad and hopeless

You'll get through it.

 

You have to focus on your own wellbeing.

 

That means:

 

Eating enough healthy food.

Drinking enough water, which is 1.5 litres a day.

Getting enough rest. 10 hours sleep, if possible.

Doing some light and easy exercise.

Getting out of the house everyday.

Getting some social contact most days.

Talking about how you feel with people you trust.

Not drinking or using drugs.

 

You'll be ok, but it will take a little time.

 

All the best,

 

Satu.

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