BPositive Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Long story short - after chasing meaningless relationships abroad for the last couple of years, clenching on unfounded hope, I decided this had to stop. I want somebody 'real' I can be with and who cares for me, for the person I am. There is a lot of love to give from my side, and I'd love to open myself to opportunities. Now that I'm a bit older/mature, I don't quite know where to start. Most of my friends are no longer living in the area I do, so it's a bit of a one-man mission. What is your advice? Is online dating mandatory? 1
Dallers Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Welcome to the real world I am there right now. I have been chasing after the wrong sort of girl for me ever since my last long term relationship ended years ago and I am always in an out of toxic relationships, FWB and short term flings. I'm now looking for the "real" thing and it is not easy to leave the old you behind. You just have to learn to love yourself and turn away someone who is not right for you instead of just accepting they are there and want you and it's easy. You do get stronger the more you say no and eventually have control of what and who you want. The thing you have to remember is that you do not need anyone. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 As a woman who has a few years on you, I don't consider you to be in the "older/mature" category at all. (Which is meant as a compliment, so don't take offense!) You have plenty of time to find a great partner. And no, online dating isn't mandatory. I met my current boyfriend at work, and he is several years older than me. Lots of fish in the sea!
Popsicle Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Welcome to the real world. It's awesome but only for the serious. Online dating is not mandatory. A friend of mine does not use it at all. She prefers to meet people in person and she does well with that. She doesn't own a TV, doesn't socialize online, and is very extraverted and just NEEDS to be doing something around people 24/7, and this works for her. If you do use online dating, make it a nonnegotiable rule that you will not date anyone who lives more than, say, 20 miles away from where you live. Don't even look at or talk to anyone outside of that. Make it the first thing you notice about them. Sticking firm to this will keep you in the real world and bring you closer to what you really want.
xpaperxcutx Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Don't online date. it's better to meet people in real life based off of similar interests. Also your personality tends to shine through in person as opposed to letting people read between the lines of a profile.
babycakees Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Online dating sucks, honestly. I'm not a big fan. As cliche as it sounds, it will happen when it's meant to be.
computersandsuch Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Online dating is tough. I've been doing it for a few years now with more disappointments than success stories. I only suggest it if you live in an small population area like me or have anxiety about meeting people.
CarrieT Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 If you do use online dating, make it a nonnegotiable rule that you will not date anyone who lives more than, say, 20 miles away from where you live. I had that as a rule and discounted a guy who lived 85+ miles away from me. He made a convincing argument how - in the past - he had dated women in different states and the fact that we were in driving distance was a decent reason to at least continue the conversation. At 50 years of age, I ended up marrying this guy I initially discounted... 1
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