BumblePorridge Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Hi all I was dating someone for a short period of time, 3 months. He broke it off with me out of the blue just over a year ago; there was no argument or anything- so it didn't end on a nasty note. He mentioned, several times, about staying friends- but it didn't happen. To be honest, I was feeling too upset and bitter to have made a good friend to him, at that time! We met up (we live over 2 hours apart) one more time after the split; about 1 month after. It was nice and normal. But we didn't continue talking, the texts just faded and I never heard from him again. Thus, no friendship ever came from it. I decided on No Contact. Since having no contact with him I have achieved a lot in my professional life, grown in my personal life and all round just flourished. (Definitely recommend No Contact for that reason!). Anyway, a little over a year later- here I am; in a new relationship but still missing him. Missing the connection we had; the great conversation. I'm missing him in just a platonic way, if that makes sense. We are not friends on Facebook; however, I can see from his profile (all girls stalk ) that he is in a relationship, and has been for a long while now, with someone else. Despite us both being in relationships, I really WANT to contact him. I guess I just want him back in my life in some form. I'd be happy with 'just friends'. Would you contact an Ex a whole YEAR later? Have I left it too long? I don't know how well received it will be, a whole year later?
Thecondor1991 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Hi all I was dating someone for a short period of time, 3 months. He broke it off with me out of the blue just over a year ago; there was no argument or anything- so it didn't end on a nasty note. He mentioned, several times, about staying friends- but it didn't happen. To be honest, I was feeling too upset and bitter to have made a good friend to him, at that time! We met up (we live over 2 hours apart) one more time after the split; about 1 month after. It was nice and normal. But we didn't continue talking, the texts just faded and I never heard from him again. Thus, no friendship ever came from it. I decided on No Contact. Since having no contact with him I have achieved a lot in my professional life, grown in my personal life and all round just flourished. (Definitely recommend No Contact for that reason!). Anyway, a little over a year later- here I am; in a new relationship but still missing him. Missing the connection we had; the great conversation. I'm missing him in just a platonic way, if that makes sense. We are not friends on Facebook; however, I can see from his profile (all girls stalk ) that he is in a relationship, and has been for a long while now, with someone else. Despite us both being in relationships, I really WANT to contact him. I guess I just want him back in my life in some form. I'd be happy with 'just friends'. Would you contact an Ex a whole YEAR later? Have I left it too long? I don't know how well received it will be, a whole year later? Well if it's just conversation and friendship you want, then I say go for it. shoot him a message or call him. Who knows something great could really come out of it. However, if your expecting some sort of "relationship" out of it, then I would say no. If he's in a relationship and your in a relationship then nothing good will come out of contacting him. So I guess what I'm trying to say is, Thing about the REAL reason you want to contact him. 1
Ruby65 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I doubt his new girlfriend will welcome you back into his life. 3
joseb Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Thing about the REAL reason you want to contact him. This. The fact that you are stalking him (and think this is ok) says you are still into him. Are you happy in your relationship? 1
Author BumblePorridge Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 This. The fact that you are stalking him (and think this is ok) says you are still into him. Are you happy in your relationship? Eek. I shouldn't have said 'all girls stalk', it was merely a joke. I did not intend for anyone to take this as serious intent to stalk someone. When I wrote this, I was simply alluring to the time when I searched him once on Facebook to drop him a friendly message, and discovered he was in a relationship. And no . Evidentally I don't think I am 100% happy in my current relationship. It lacks the mental stimulation that I enjoy, in areas which interest me. However, a wise person once said that all of our 'requirements' in life do not need to come from a single person (your romantic partner). They can, instead, come from friendships. I have yet to decide where I stand on this opinion 1
Author BumblePorridge Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 sorry....ALL girls DON'T stalk. I was not referring to literal stalking. Apologies for my slight bit of humour 1
Author BumblePorridge Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 I doubt his new girlfriend will welcome you back into his life. Agreed. Thank you! My NC will continue 1
Satu Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I don't think that you want to have a simple friendship with this person. I think you want to have an inappropriately intimate emotional connection with him, because you think he can give you something that your present partner doesn't. Accept or refute this as you wish.
Author BumblePorridge Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) I don't think that you want to have a simple friendship with this person. I think you want to have an inappropriately intimate emotional connection with him, because you think he can give you something that your present partner doesn't. Accept or refute this as you wish. I agree about one part of your analysis, for sure . I accept the part about providing me with something my present partner does not. = Conversation (we are both Ecotoxicologists and share other niche interests), which my partner has zero interest in. Edited May 26, 2015 by BumblePorridge
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