Eggplant Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Do you prefer a type A or type B partner? The type A partner will be more reliable, take things more seriously, go the extra mile. The tradeoff will be more stress. The type B partner is more laid-back (chill) and will roll with things. Probably more peaceful. However he or she sometimes won't actually deliver, at least to the extent of the A counterpart. What do you have to add to or correct about these definitions? Which are you?
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. A lot of As are workaholics & gravitate towards high demand high stress jobs. As tend to bring their work related stress home & spread the fun around. Road rage is a sport to many of them. It's no wonder many As don't live to retirement age. What's more important, today and tomorrow or a few years down the road? I'm a B.
Popsicle Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I was married to type A before and I'm naturally more type B. He rubbed some of his type A off on me to help me become more balanced and I was hoping the same would happen to him but it did not, and ultimately, it drove me crazy. I seem to be attracted to type A and them to me, but I fight it. I know the outcome.
TunaCat Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I'm definitely type A. My ex was type B. Now that I've gotten some distance from him, I realize that being with a type B person doesn't work for me. I need a type A partner.
todreaminblue Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 is there a middle option.....i need a calm partner but a partner who is willing to go the extra mile.....mainly with me.....i am often a big ball of stress....i need a partner who unwinds that so i can relax around him..i have my own strategies but soemtimes even my own strategies i need to be reminded of...like just breathe its ok... and everything is ok..you can do it.....i say that to myself all the time....but yes if i had to choose a guy with no middle ground i would choose a b..to stay with..deb
Author Eggplant Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 There is a middle ground. Moreover, it's all relative. A person who is type A to one will come across as type B to another, depending on the standards. But I was afraid everybody would just go for that middle ground answer and there would be no discussion. 1
frogs88 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Actually I think you can be A in certain issues while being B on others. I've certainly experienced that myself and with my partner. The crutch was that we are more the less the same type for crucial aspects. If there's a difference where one partner is A oN something specific while the other is B then theres probably going to be conflict about that. 1
Author Eggplant Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 Actually I think you can be A in certain issues while being B on others. I've certainly experienced that myself and with my partner. The crutch was that we are more the less the same type for crucial aspects. If there's a difference where one partner is A oN something specific while the other is B then theres probably going to be conflict about that.This is an excellent point. It's as much a matter of what things you choose to direct energy at as it is a matter of how much energy you spend overall. 1
jen1447 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I think the variation just illustrates the point that there really are no As and Bs in anything but a very superficial sense. Human nature is much more complex.
autumnnight Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 The candle that burns twice as bright, burns half as long. A lot of As are workaholics & gravitate towards high demand high stress jobs. As tend to bring their work related stress home & spread the fun around. Road rage is a sport to many of them. It's no wonder many As don't live to retirement age. What's more important, today and tomorrow or a few years down the road? I'm a B. OK, If Clarence AKA Red Forman doesn't mind being an example, here is what I will say, as I have read many of his posts: Someone like Clarence would be the ideal (no I'm not hitting on you or creeping I promise). He says he is laid back and type A, but all his posts on women and relationships indicate that he is NOT neglectful or passive with his partners. In other words, he is a low-stress, easygoing man who also knows how to take care of his woman. THAT would be my ideal in a person. Maybe a B+? lol And if I embarrassed you, Clarence, you have my permission to go all "Red" and call me a dumbass. I'm probably an A-. I have lots of energy and like to DO, but I cannot abise getting tied in stressful knots.
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 OK, If Clarence AKA Red Forman doesn't mind being an example, here is what I will say, as I have read many of his posts: Someone like Clarence would be the ideal (no I'm not hitting on you or creeping I promise). He says he is laid back and type A, but all his posts on women and relationships indicate that he is NOT neglectful or passive with his partners. In other words, he is a low-stress, easygoing man who also knows how to take care of his woman. THAT would be my ideal in a person. Maybe a B+? lol And if I embarrassed you, Clarence, you have my permission to go all "Red" and call me a dumbass. I'm probably an A-. I have lots of energy and like to DO, but I cannot abise getting tied in stressful knots. Do I have a stalker... It's all good lol. Yea, I'm a chill guy that loves to please my partner. I think that's just or should be normal for any guy that's into women. To me, it's a very enjoyable hobby, nothing to stress about. It's also something that not a rigid task I have to perform or something I feel pressured into doing. I'm down for it pretty much 24/7. Don't worry, Red hardly ever calls a woman a dumb azz lol
Gloria25 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 (edited) Do you prefer a type A or type B partner? The type A partner will be more reliable, take things more seriously, go the extra mile. The tradeoff will be more stress. The type B partner is more laid-back (chill) and will roll with things. Probably more peaceful. However he or she sometimes won't actually deliver, at least to the extent of the A counterpart. What do you have to add to or correct about these definitions? Which are you? I do not agree with these definitions... I mean, I'm a very go-getter type of person (I guess?)...but, I have my moments - like right now - where I am chillin' on my recliner chair and chatting with you all. Some people consider me a "Type A". I believe I'm a "Type B+" But, I agree with my fav podcaster - which is some Type A peeps take a back seat cuz we aren't "challenged". Highly intelligent people may not even score the highest in school cuz we simply aren't being challenged. A guy called into her show who was concerned cuz he couldn't "stick" to something. He was unhappy in his current career. Well, my fav podcaster asked him some questions and come to find out it took him a while to finish his masters cuz he kept on changing majors. She suggested he develop some hobbies and find stuff to intrigue/excite him - cuz that's his personality. She said there are many like him, but there's not like a diagnosis for them. She said he may also have problems settling down with a wife and kids cuz he's always on the go. I'm a lot like that. I believe I am an intelligent person. I was considered "gifted" as a child, but I have many insecurities (thanks dad) that hold me back and I also don't move unless I'm "motivated/challenged". I've changed many of jobs, cuz once I master them, I get bored. Now, one job I held a while back, I loved it...I wish I never left it for that "promotion" to hell-world. That job was so great cuz of the "challenge"...I enjoyed outsmarting peeps, putting my skills to work, and there was never a dull moment at that job. One of my gfs commented that as long as she knew me, at this job I've been my happiest. I used to come home tired - especially mentally tired. I had to use my head a lot. I procrastinate to do things, then believe I get a "rush" out of the challenge at the last minute to pull through. I need stimulation. Actually, today on my run, like usual, I was missing jumping out of a perfectly good airplane. Now who does that? I also have my masters, but went back to school a few more times to get another associates (eh, in part to use the G.I. Bill money up) but, still, enjoyed learning new subjects and challenging myself. When I was in the military, I competed a lot in things. I hated the awards ceremonies cuz I didn't want the award. I just wanted to compete. Now, in a couple of personal projects I'm working on (that I have been forced to work on), I must admit that while it stresses me out, I enjoy watching them squirm when I enter the briefing room cuz they know that I'm about to "bring it"!!! I believe Bill Gates was that type of person too. He didn't finish a higher education, but was successful. I have relatives like me too - they are even smarter than me and they thrive on challenge....I guess it runs in the family So, I think that in between the Type A's and B's, there's other "types" that don't necessarily fit into the same square peg. Not sure how it translates into RLs for me cuz I am so adamant about not needing a guy that it is one reason men do not stay with me All I can say is that I take care of my man (whomever I'm seeing at that time) and my family also knows they can rely on me. No matter what happens, I'm the "rock" and they often look up to me. Sometimes I don't wanna be bothered, but I'm still there at the end of the day...So again, I don't fit into A or B I guess? Edited May 25, 2015 by Gloria25
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I don't know. I think it's all relative. I would probably look more like a type A standing next to my current partner yet I was probably more of a type B next to my ex husband. I say gray. I'm gray
Taramere Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 B, I think. I get more than enough drama and demands placed on me through my work, and I've got a personal trainer who can kick my backside at the gym if need be. If I were of an age and at a point where I were planning a family with a man, I might go for slightly more of an A type to complement my more nurturing and instinctive (as opposed to very structured) approach to child care. As it is, though, I wouldn't want the hassle of somebody who was likely to impose some kind of regimented routine on my free time. Or make the business of driving a car any more stressful than I already find it. That's what I associate A types with. Critical, aggressive, prone to vexatiousness at times and always on your case about something. Not really people you can relax very easily around and have fun with. Mind you. If I were stressing out about a case and needing to work late on account of having (yet again) procrastinated until the very last minute, I'm not sure I'd welcome the sight of a serenely grinning Dadbod loafing around on the couch telling me to stop taking everything so seriously and start having a bit of fun. That's about the time I'd want a sergeant major yelling "Sleep's for wimps! Work until you drop, and never again let me see you dishing out inept counselling to strangers when you have billable work you're actually qualified to do awaiting your attention." Yes. Everybody on here is right. We're probably all a mix of A and B, depending on the circumstances we're dealing with at any particular time. 1
thefooloftheyear Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Ive been called a type A...Yeah...I am non stop and always striving for perfection...I require someone to bring a lot to the table, because quite frankly, I am the table... I know it makes me hard to live with and probably a lousy relationship partner, ,although as I have gotten older I have mellowed a bit...I wont change because its not my style...I don't need a therapist to tell me that expecting a high level from people is just going to frustrate the hell out of most people who don't feel the same way or aren't on the same wavelength...I am however not heartless or lacking in compassion...I can be very supportive as well.. It is what it is at this point...at least my bills are paid and I don't worry about a lot of the other mundane crap the rest of the world does..*shrug* TFY 2
Taramere Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Ive been called a type A...Yeah...I am non stop and always striving for perfection...I require someone to bring a lot to the table, because quite frankly, I am the table... :laugh: I know it makes me hard to live with and probably a lousy relationship partner, ,although as I have gotten older I have mellowed a bit...I wont change because its not my style...I don't need a therapist to tell me that expecting a high level from people is just going to frustrate the hell out of most people who don't feel the same way or aren't on the same wavelength...I am however not heartless or lacking in compassion...I can be very supportive as well.. Now I feel bad for what I said about type As! My dad was very much a type A in his younger days. I had a wall covered with rosettes as a result, and it taught me how to be competitive when need be. To channel that competitiveness into areas where it's okay to be competitive...and that's certainly important. Too often, I think, children (especially girls) are discouraged from being competitive, which can encourage the competitive spirit comes out in subtle and not particularly healthy ways. So that was beneficial. The only thing was that sometimes he was guilty of sometimes forgetting that these competitions were also supposed to be fun. So for instance, I might jump a fast and clear round (I was involved in the horse world) then forget to go through the finish. Friends would laugh at my forgetfulness and I would too. Perhaps there was an element of not wanting to win too often, in case people I liked started to resent me for it. He would go mental at me because as a result of last minute carelessness I had missed out on my chance to win. I think at times he could have done with chilling out a bit and just being happy with the fact that with or without a red rosette to show for it, I'd done well. 2
No Limit Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 I'm a mix of both, although with a little more A than B. Hmm, I'm not sure to be honest which type I'd want. Perhaps I'd go with a B guy who will remind me to rest every once in a while.
Els Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 If only everyone in the world could be divided into two personality types, what a simple life it would be... Honestly, except for very extreme cases, how do you even categorize people into one of the two? Lots of people are laid back about certain things but serious/reliable and stressed about other things. I could never be interested in someone who was stressed out and serious about EVERYTHING, or someone who was 'laid back' to the point where he couldn't even stay in school or hold a job. Balance is always good. 6
Shepp Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Y'know truth its I probably go for the Type B, who come across to the outside eye as a Type A. Whereas I'm a Type A, defo, but I bet if you asked people they'd put me down as Type B. How screwed is that!
MissBee Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Do you prefer a type A or type B partner? The type A partner will be more reliable, take things more seriously, go the extra mile. The tradeoff will be more stress. The type B partner is more laid-back (chill) and will roll with things. Probably more peaceful. However he or she sometimes won't actually deliver, at least to the extent of the A counterpart. What do you have to add to or correct about these definitions? Which are you? I don't think it's that clear cut neither do I think the examples you gave really encompass what it means to be type A or B. Type B personality for example, does not mean you are unreliable. The orientation of both types tends to be about the stress level at which you operate, your orientation towards competition, tendency towards anxiety and originally was used to figure out people's susceptible for heart disease based on the amount of stress in their lives. Type A just means you are highly competitive, you hate losing, you are hyper focused on time management, tend to be a workaholic and tend to get very anxious and stressed when you feel like you don't meet goals. Type B people also can be goal-oriented, reliable, manage their time etc. but aren't as focused on competing, they don't focus only on winning or losing or end goals only as much as Type As, so their stress and anxiety is significantly less. Now people use these terms freely, but I do think it's important to keep in mind the original context of how this idea came about, which was to study behaviors that led to heart disease...so it isn't really telling you a whole lot about relationships or a lot of other things that people now try to extrapolate from it. It was a very specific theory about a very specific thing originally. That said: I'd say in general I am Type B in that I don't allow myself to be worked up and stressed over every little thing and I am not competitive in that I don't compete with others yet, I'm still a high achieving person and always have been. I'm more laid back but I'm not unreliable. But I can also be hyper-focused about some goals. I don't think I could be with a more general Type A person, but I still want someone with ambitions, who is reliable, who has goals, and who isn't stressed and anxious and impatient all the time. 2
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