Author jgirl8 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Posted May 24, 2015 It's one thing to think a girl whose been with a black guy will only ever want black guys, but to see her as unpure, is out and out racist. I agree that I'd avoid any group of men walking towards me, no matter what the colour. We're talking about the OP having previously had a relationship with one black guy, not a gang of black men. Why would a girl who dated one black guy would only want black guys afterwards? And if that was the case i would have dated black guys agaib. But all of my other relationships were with white guys since. The black guy was about 7 years ago for about 2 months. He was actually a white collar guy, worked in IT, was more accomplished, educated and articulate than this saffa guy..
Author jgirl8 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Posted May 24, 2015 This is true... Be as vague as possible about exes. If you're going to recall a story and you can just refer to them as a friend, best to do that sometimes. Especially early on in dating lol. He asked...
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Just any kinda black guys? Now if they thuged out with tatts on they faces and sh*t, I wouldn't walk right past em, but a few regular lookin' blacks dudes in some Letterman jackets, I'll walk right past and say what's up. Well yeah I'll gauge risk of course if they're black businessmen I'll probably not think twice. But if they're poor looking, or look like thugs I'll generally avoid. 1
jay1983 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Yeah I know his post surprised me, considering I remember him saying I was a douche for bargaining with hookers (but still paying full price). I can't think of any situation where I'd cross the street because of someone, unless maybe it was an ex or a crazy homeless guy. I'm hoping that he just worded it wrong, like he means a gang of thugs that just happen to be black rather than just blacks in general. Yeah I thought that was wrong of him. He shouldn't of criticized you just cause you can't get pussy and didn't wanna pay too much for funky pussy. 1
Emilia Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 haha 'a gang of black men' It's ok if you had an inter-racial relationship but not two or god forbid, three OP. that would make you a slut I've been in several inter-racial relationships and honestly I never have to give a run down on colour, ethnicity, etc to new partners. I never ask either. Conversations around culture come up naturally but not some detailed account of race. I've only found this with white men, tbh. There are suggestions that white men are envious of black men's reputation for virility, I used to treat that as a joke but now I'm starting to believe it 2
wb1988 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 (edited) Why would a girl who dated one black guy would only want black guys afterwards? Nobody said that was the case, it's just that is the belief (again, because of media). How many times have you heard the "once you go black..." phrase? Even a recent 2 Broke Girls episode mentioned it, you hear it all the time and I don't think people realize that it creates a racism rather than extinguishes it. When I was a teenager I had a huge crush on a girl that once dated a black guy. I had absolutely no problem with that. But now that I'm 26 I somehow would have a problem with that. I know it's definitely a product of the media. Edited May 24, 2015 by wb1988
Author jgirl8 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Posted May 24, 2015 Unfortunately he's right, it's a deep unspoken view that I think most guys (even the very pc hipster types) have even on a subconscious level. Ah my godness, really??!! Its one thing to be suprised or shocked when you find out but to dump someone?? He only dumped me months later , he tried to get over this, he claimed. Even afterwards he wanted a fwb setup with me so i guess im not to dirty for that...
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 haha 'a gang of black men' It's ok if you had an inter-racial relationship but not two or god forbid, three OP. that would make you a slut I've been in several inter-racial relationships and honestly I never have to give a run down on colour, ethnicity, etc to new partners. I never ask either. Conversations around culture come up naturally but not some detailed account of race. I've only found this with white men, tbh. There are suggestions that white men are envious of black men's reputation for virility, I used to treat that as a joke but now I'm starting to believe it Black guys are generally pretty well hung I believe lol.
katiegrl Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Why would a girl who dated one black guy would only want black guys afterwards? And if that was the case i would have dated black guys agaib. But all of my other relationships were with white guys since. The black guy was about 7 years ago for about 2 months. He was actually a white collar guy, worked in IT, was more accomplished, educated and articulate than this saffa guy.. jgirl, the implication behind the phrase "once you go black, you never go back," relates to the size of his (not wanting to sound crude)....his private part....
wb1988 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Black guys are generally pretty well hung I believe lol. Fk no bro. You know a funny story: I was in my 24h gym shower, naked, looking at a black guy who was also naked. We both saw each others dicks, and then looked at each others faces. Although my dick isn't massive it is definitely a 'show-er', and his was a micro penis. We didn't exchange words, but I could tell that we both were thinking the same thing — that the stereotype definitely isn't true.
jay1983 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Fk no bro. You know a funny story: I was in my 24h gym shower, naked, looking at a black guy who was also naked. We both saw each others dicks, and then looked at each others faces. Although my dick isn't massive it is definitely a 'show-er', and his was a micro penis. We didn't exchange words, but I could tell that we both were thinking the same thing — that the stereotype definitely isn't true. LMFAO!! This is too easy. Lol
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Fk no bro. You know a funny story: I was in my 24h gym shower, naked, looking at a black guy who was also naked. We both saw each others dicks, and then looked at each others faces. Although my dick isn't massive it is definitely a 'show-er', and his was a micro penis. We didn't exchange words, but I could tell that we both were thinking the same thing — that the stereotype definitely isn't true. I'm not saying they all are. But in general they are. I'm sure there are a lot of white guys with micro penises too lol. Also why are you staring at a dudes dick and then looking them in the face? Gross lol.
William Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Please start a sexual member thread in our sex forum or, better yet, contribute to the size thread already running there. This thread is about racism in dating. Thanks! 2
Country_Girl Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 This is an interesting topic. The last guy I dated asked me on the third date if I had ever been with a black guy...I found the question so weird and out of place. I haven't dated a black guy... But I'm surprised this even matters to some people.
jay1983 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 This is an interesting topic. The last guy I dated asked me on the third date if I had ever been with a black guy...I found the question so weird and out of place. I haven't dated a black guy... But I'm surprised this even matters to some people. Well, I was seeing a girl back in October, I knew her previous guy was black. I thought "whatever no big deal" She had a friend who was always checking out black guys and she'd take admiration as well like "yeah he's cute, you should talk to him" come to find out she dated nothing but black guys prior to myself. It made me a little uncomfortable. If she's so infatuated with black guys, why was she dating me?
Author jgirl8 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Posted May 24, 2015 jgirl, the implication behind the phrase "once you go black, you never go back," relates to the size of his (not wanting to sound crude)....his private part.... Thanks katiegrl! I guessed so but i did go back..so the saying shouldnt be relevant. And its not like i dated this saffa guy straight after dating a black guy. I had long relationships with guys in between. So is that whats it about? Him being worried that he cant satisfy me, that im secretly comparing him to this black guy. Retrograde jealousy?
katiegrl Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Thanks katiegrl! I guessed so but i did go back..so the saying shouldnt be relevant. And its not like i dated this saffa guy straight after dating a black guy. I had long relationships with guys in between. ***So is that whats it about? Him being worried that he cant satisfy me, that im secretly comparing him to this black guy*** Yeah I do actually. He won't ever admit it, but I would bet that's part if it, even if only subconsciously....
sandylee1 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Something a bit similar came up in a group discussion and the the white guy (whose ex cheated with a black guy) , said he felt he would never be able to satisfy her again. He said it was actuality jealousy, not racism. There are lots of myths about the size of black men and the reality is, not ALL Black guys are hung like bulls. I've heard very silly things said and in truth it's ignorance. I know many people who have dated different races and I disagree with not going back, once you've dated black. I'm all for people having preferences in who they date, but dumping someone because of who they dated, is a bit different. It's hard to admit when you have these racist views and some people don't even realise they are being racist. You can be sure those views will be passed to generations below as well, which just keeps racism going .
jen1447 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Envy and/or jealousy can inform racism to some degree, so .... My guess is he was partly worried he'd already been outperformed (and out-hung lol) and was afraid you would indeed "go back" to black guys. That fear in general may contribute to his dislike of black guys. Altho he's from South Africa? I have no knowledge of the culture there so who knows if they have some special weird prejudice going on there too.
carhill Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 When I was in Pretoria and JoBerg I noted some deep-seated prejudices from white SA'ers towards the black population, so much so that I found it shocking. That was back during Apartheid so may not be applicable now but IME racial prejudices run deep and are rarely easily dismissed or overcome. I was only in-country a month so only lightly touched on things so YMMV but his assertion that you're (OP) not from there and won't understand tipped me off. Sounded familiar.
SycamoreCircle Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Don't know if this means anything but I have a South African friend who is white and harbors strong feelings in support of black people, globally. In fact, I found his attitudes(which I won't bother going into) too fervent and influenced by the racial divide which presumably lingers in SA. So, your story surprised me...
Author jgirl8 Posted May 24, 2015 Author Posted May 24, 2015 Thanks for the replies everyone! It is hard to believe that that's what it boils down to. I mean it is 2015 and guys still think that all it takes is a big d### to satisfy a women. Seriously? And that if someone had bigger then it means they will never be enough for that person? That makes me really sad. Good sex is so much more than sizes. And too big is actually painful.. I am in my 30s and so i have 15+ years of dating behind me. I spent 2 months with this black guy. If i did the maths correctly it means i spent 1% of my dating life with a black guy and 99% with white guys ( i also go for months without dating anyone but thats beside the point). What does that tell you? Yeah, im really in a rush to go back
ascendotum Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 This is true... Be as vague as possible about exes. If you're going to recall a story and you can just refer to them as a friend, best to do that sometimes. Especially early on in dating lol. I don't necessarily think she has to be secretive. Be upfront and if the guy has an issue with it then he's not the guy for her, like this guy. This guy was from S.Africa were there are going to be strong feelings on this matter. He is racist but says he's not because its likely a subtle thing not overt. If he works with any black guys day to day he could very act fine and so think he is not a racist because he doesn't call them names or prejudice them, but a white woman sleeping with them is a different thing for him. I think most guys would be fine if their gf had a black guy as a bf once, though some will have issues with the whole 'once you go black' thing. Many would be put off though if they thought she used to like hanging out with lots of black guys and might have been a bit of a queen of spades and dtf for any of them.
preraph Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 God, yes, he's racist, in the worst way. I get that there may be some geographical issues, but you can't lump them all together like that. And he's a jerk because he's all about the purity and BS. I bet there's nothing pure about that guy. He's hugely racist and also sexist. Not a good guy. 5
snowflakes88 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Please start a sexual member thread in our sex forum or, better yet, contribute to the size thread already running there. This thread is about racism in dating. Thanks! Any reason why you're allowing posts that simply perpetuate negative and ignorant stereotypes about African-American men, rather than addressing the OP's particular question? 1
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