brokengirl85 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Yesterday I went to a club with friends. While the danced, I looked at the crowd, drink in hand, unable to enjoy the moment. I lasted 15 minutes there before heading home. In the car, I cried. It's been 8 weeks no contact and my journey gas been easy because I've been here before. My counselor thinks he is a narcissistic man and that I'm A survivor. That he probably is with another victim and that he barely remembers me and the relationship we had for two years. It's true he treated me like a doormat and I accepted it. That he wanted just sex and stringed me along. That he didn't care for s moment I had feelings for him, his need for sex was what made this relationship going on for so long. I'm sad. Tonight I dreamt another girl was begging him to stop lying. Another girl like me. You can say I'm better without him, but I'm depressed. Really sad. I don't want to think I was a victim, I still want to think he cared for me but I just can't find anything that proves that. I don't know how to shake this sadness off.
dyna85 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 I still feel like this after 5 months NC, so don't feel bad. At least at 8 wks, it makes sense. At 5 months you start to wonder why you're not over it and how much more one person can take. Just gotta keep going and force yourself to be strong in the midst of the emotional upheaval. Such is life, I've learned.
sober and dry Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Think about it like days and the nights in the north pole. Some moments are just dark and in some time the light starts to appear. Soon enough there will be almost just light every day all day
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