SFS - Shrink, Fade, Swipe

[TaraMaiden2]

SFS: I came across this acronym this morning, while reading a totally unrelated article on water's effect on the body (! - See, I told you it was unrelated...!) and it struck me as a very good way to deal with the ever-pervasive, insistent thoughts that those who have broken up, keep having, with regard to their exes.

 

They hate constantly thinking about their loved ones, and begin to resent the relentless invasion of 'mindnapping' thoughts that refuse to go away, keep cropping up at any given moment, and overwhelm their entire consciousness to the point of despair.

 

The article in fac, was extremely brief in its explanation of the three phases of this process, so I have elaborated on each one a little, to enable people to put them into practice.

 

SHRINK: Whatever thought you're experiencing, stop and try to re-word it, so that it becomes more and more succinct, brief and focused. Whatever you're thinking, find the few words that accurately sum up what the entire scenario you've built in your head, actually means. What, in a nutshell, is it actually 'saying'?

 

You might have a whole scene about an evening out you spent together, or a meal you cooked, or something you did that you both enjoyed.

This would come down to "I miss him/her."

 

Now, visualise that pithy, brief statement, written on a piece of paper.

 

Then, in your mind, make it get smaller and smaller, until you can barely read it without the aid of a magnifying glass.

You can still make out the separate words, but truly, they're really tiny. (Think payment contract small-print!)

 

FADE:

You've probably written the words on the paper, in black, which is fine. Or it might be another colour.

It doesn't matter.

You know how a picture can fade if left in sunlight? Well, see the same thing happening to your short, tiny sentence.

See the colour fading, until it's really pale... so not only is it tiny, it's almost illegible, because you can barely see the letters, they're so faint....

 

SWIPE: Now, visualise your hand brushing across the surface of the paper. You know, like when you have crumbs on your newspaper, or rubber fragments on a pencil drawing.... keep swiping the words, until you manage to brush them off the page, like microscopic morsels of sand.... until the page is completely white and clean.

 

Now, as a final remedy, replace that writing with something positive, something uplifting, energising, and TRUE.

 

And follow the above sequence, in reverse.....

 

I'm fortunate in that I am not experiencing 'break-up' thoughts.

But I DO have other stuff on my plate causing me anxious moments.

The thing is, I realise that over-thinking them just makes them seem more significant, more important, more imposing, urgent and oppressive.

This little exercise works very well for things like that, too.

 

Let me know how this works for you.

[sober and dry]

Hmm interesting! I kind of use it but in an extreme way. I try to shrink everything I can about the entire RS, fade it by just denying the toughs of itself and them try to wipe it out of me completely.

Truth to be said, I have forgot all my previous RS for good except this last one because it's still fresh. All I have is an image of the person associated with just a feeling that sums up the entire RS after all.

I have seen some people on this forum saying that forgetting the RS you had is not good or healthy, but for me it's the best way because in the end there is nothing else. I guess that I try to treat broken RS like an writing on the sand, after all just wipe the sand and there it's a blank board to start it all over again.

The main key is to remember what you have learned from the experiences, for that you don't need the memories at all, just the lesson.

[15Love]

Just tried this while I was reading it as my head's been cluttered all day with thoughts creeping in and wasting my time.

 

Loved it!

 

I'm gonna keep using this one! Thanks!!