lilmoma1973 Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Hey all, My ss went behind dads back after he told him he couldn't go anywhere.. he went to his moms house and had his grandma pick him up from mom's house .. then where he was told he couldn't go and grandma called and told my h and all my h was talked to him and told him not to do that again.. i asked h was he going to ground him and he said no not this time!! i don't get it my ss gets by with murder .. he never gets punished for anything he does .. i think grandma should have called my h and told him what was going on before she did that.. i think his a$$ should have been grounded if he was mine he would have been.. my h is so unfair ss gets to do whatever whenever and says our daughter is spoiled she gets time out and wippens ss never gets nothing .. tell me what you think he is 15 .. what is this teaching him.. oh yeah grandma gave him the money too.. i hate my mil she thinks ss is a angel and can do no wrong!! but i think he is far from that!!
Pocky Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Is your daughter the biological daughter of your husband? If not, then he can reprimand his son the way he wants and you can reprimand your daughter the way you want. If he has an issue with that, then both of you can deal with the children together like adults.
Author lilmoma1973 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 hey pocky, thanks for the reply .. yes she is his child and she is five ..
JadeStar Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 Sounds to me like he probably never really disciplined his son when he was little so he figures why do it now. It could be too that he is being a typical teen ager trying to see what he can and can't get away with. However, if his dad is letting him get away with many things thats not teaching him anything except that its ok to do whatever he wants. Have you and your h talked about this? Have you discusssed it together as far as what needs to be done when your ss doesn't listen or do things he knows he shouldn't? Jade
Author lilmoma1973 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 Hey Jadestar, Thanks for the reply..Yes we have talked and he knows how i feel and he says he will handle it .. so therefore im through .. what pisses me off is that he will say he can't never discipline our daughter because i baby her .. i think to myself what makes you think she is going to listen to you when she knows ss don't listen.. i think that is a cop out for not parenting.. i think he tries to be his friend too much and not a parent
TexasWife Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 It sounds like typical divorced parents syndrome, lol. Sooo often parents feel guilty over divorcing that they let their kids get away with murder. Did his son behave this way with no punishment when you DH was married to his ex? You could point out that his DD is going to see the differences in the way she is treated and her SB is treated, and may get resentful as she gets older. Good luck, can't imagine how frustrating this must be.
Author lilmoma1973 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 hey texas wife thanks for your reply but you got it all wrong they was never married and he has been with me since ss was 2 now 15 .. i think she is already resentful she says all the time "we are mean and we don't love her".. so yeah she is already resenting us .. i try to discipline ss but h says im always on him so i try h doesn't!!
Author lilmoma1973 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 HEY TEXASWIFE, THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY .. NO PROB I KNOW YOU MEAN WELL..
Author lilmoma1973 Posted April 25, 2005 Author Posted April 25, 2005 HEY LONESTAR, THANKS FOR YOUR REPLY WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY THAT STATEMENT.. LOL
MWC_LifeBeginsAt40 Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 Kids at any age need to be made aware that if they break the rules, there are consequences. Mind you the consequences should be age-appropriate but consistent with the broken rule. Since he has already gotten away this time, maybe you could talk your H into telling his son what will happen the NEXT time, and make sure he sticks to it. You could also ask H if it's alright if you dish out the punishment - this makes you look like the bad guy in your stepson's eyes, but maybe your H is too soft to handle it. He could say to his son, something like "your stepmom has the authority to dishout this punishment the next time this happens and I will stand behind what she decides...." and then he could tell him exactly what the punishment will be such as being grounded for a week.
Author lilmoma1973 Posted April 26, 2005 Author Posted April 26, 2005 HEY MWC, THANKS FOR THE REPLY.. SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD IDEA.. BUT IT WILL NEVER HAPPEN .. HE DON'T PUNISH HIM ... I HIGHLY DOUBT HE WILL LET ME!! LOL
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