inglorious Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Hi all, I haven't posted here for years but wondered if you could help me work something out. I am into my 5th year of my relationship with my SO. We are both in our mid to late 40s. We are as affectionate & physical as we were in the first months and express that we love each other regularly. I still fancy her and want her as much now as I did in the beginning. When we are together, she reflects all of my feelings for her back at me. In her words, actions and body language. I can't get enough of her.. and as crazy as it sounds, thats where my dilemma begins.. We don't live together. We each have our own houses 30mins apart. In all that time we have spent virtually every weekend together, plus a random weeknight and 3 weeks holiday a year. We don't often skip a beat but sometimes do. But when we do skip a beat.. oh boy. She has become such a part of me and my life over the years that if absent for just a bit too long, I go from that nice 'missing you' feeling.. into 'I'm broken' My head goes crazy trying to figure out why my heart has dropped into the soles of my feet before I even realise what is going on. The reasons for the skips are not the issue. They are always genuine and sometimes our own disorganisation at sync'ing our time. My issue, and reason for reaching out to you all for some perspective is that lately I feel like I'm getting burned like this a bit more than I'd like to be. So is this; a) Normal and correct Love-pain. Deal with it. b) I'm in a Danger Zone. Deep enough to drown but not deep enough to swim? So need to either get closer (merge lives more, maybe look to move in) or retreat to a safer emotional distance. c) Something else I'm not seeing. I will close by saying that I told her that I felt she was a part of me and that being with her was my need as much as my pleasure and that if I go too long without a fix that I lose the plot. Her response was to go all smiley, teary eyed, and hug me. Thanks All
xpaperxcutx Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 The above poster is on point. You guys have been together for 5 years now. You guys are both independent adults who shared so much together, have you not thought about proposing to her?
Author inglorious Posted May 26, 2015 Author Posted May 26, 2015 Thanks for the replies. Good questions. Regarding living together, I hope that at some point we do and I have made that clear and it was well received. It hasn't happened sooner because from my side when we got together, I had just come out of a relationship where I did live with a partner and needed to spend a good chunk of time living on my own again. From her side, she had become quite happy living on her own and was in no rush to change that. We have both been happy with the arrangement and have an "if it ain't broke.. don't fix it" attitude. I don't anything's broke now but maybe we are, (or at least I think I am), naturally reaching a point where we do need to plot a more deliberate course to living together. As for marriage, again maybe some day. I'm not about to spring a proposal on her now because that can pile immediate pressure on when we don't even have experience of living together yet. I don't mind being open with her and letting her know that it's also something I hope we can do one day. Cheers
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