Jump to content

5 Years and he suddenly "doesn't feel it"

Boogs

By Boogs
in Breaks and Breaking Up

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Boogs New Member

Boogs

Posted
Posted (edited)

From the beginning: we started dating when i was 17 and he was 19, we were each others first serious relationship and for him i was his first kiss & everything. We both clicked immediately with each other and each others families which was really important to me. So through this breakup i not only lost him but i lost a whole family.

 

In January my boyfriend of 5 and a half years broke up with me because he suddenly did not feel that he loved me anymore, also he was scared that i was his first love, first kiss, first everything that he was "scared" that he would be missing out on something. Back track to September there was a girl hanging around his office that he became friendly with and i honestly didn't have a problem with it at first but then this girl started following me on all social media i had without even meeting her. Anyway a week after he broke up with me he texted me asking me how i was doing and we were texting on and off until April. We also saw each other 3 times and he told me that he has hung out and hooked up with the office girl multiple times. I cut off all communication with him the last week of April and now he's been texting my best friend asking for updates on how i'm doing. So my questions are why would he be asking for updates? is he being nosey or does he care about me and what i'm doing? if he was to come back (he tells my friend "when i come back") is it possible to forget this stuff that has happened during the breakup? of course i still love him its been almost six years i can't flip an off switch and up until this situation he really was a great boyfriend, so are these actions forgivable? has anyone been in a similar situation and how was the outcome?

 

Thanks!

Edited by Boogs
Ruby65 Established Member

Ruby65

Posted
Posted

First of all, welcome and I'm really sorry for what you're going through. :(

 

Why is he asking for updates?

 

Because it's scary to break up with someone -- especially someone you've been with for several years. He wants to be sure you're still around, he's trying to figure out how to keep you right there as a safety net while he sees how things go with this new girl.

 

That's how scary breakups are -- scary enough for you to even be considering taking back someone who's just left you for someone else and tried to position you as Plan B.

 

Luckily, in time, you'll see you're going to be JUST FINE -- with him or without him. ;)

 

It's very rare to start dating someone at 17 and stay with them forever. As painful as this breakup is, it's healthier for both of you to have time apart and experience dating other people and also just being a single independent adult on your own, without a relationship.

 

It's true you can't just flick a switch and be over him -- I wish it was that easy! But you can protect yourself from unnecessary pain and suffering by going No Contact so you can start to heal from this breakup.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com

 

Good luck to you -- and tell your friends to stop giving him information about you!

 

:)

foolinlove79 Established Member

foolinlove79

Posted
Posted

Ok so I am someone who has been broken up with multile times by the same guy. Stupid me i kept taking him back. I can only share my experiences with you.

 

1. The break up - once someone breaks up with you it is very hard to forget and forgive and move on. I would for a while but after a time it starts to creep into your mind. You start worrying about little things and think are they going to do it again and it puts a huge strain on the relationship.

 

2. The other girl - my ex also had some fun when we were apart and i have to say i could not forget about it. People would say but you werent even together. But it didnt matter to me. It still bothered me. And when we were back together it pissed me off they stayed in contact as friends.

 

I realised i am a plan b for him. He thinks he can keep breaking up with me for something 'better' and coming back and ill keep taking him cos i have. I think by taking him back in a way i was saying it was ok to treat me like that. Well its not.

 

Thats just some insight about my relationship. Every relationship is different and no one knows about another persons relationship. Good luck

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...