Sunyata Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Okay, so I turn 30 in two weeks and don't have much dating experience. I'll try to keep the run-down of these dates fairly simple and short. I'm very shy sometimes, but can hold conversation. I have had one relationship lasting about 1.5 years, which ended in January. First date with this new online girl was in late April. I was awkward, made no physical contact but maintained decent conversation. After the date she texted me saying she had a good time. Later she would tell me the lack of physical contact/goodbye hug was strange. Three days after the date I texted her asking her out again, no response. A week after the date I suggested a place and time and she texted me back yes right away. Second date was still awkward but good overall. She sat next to me in the booth, and we made some minimal physical contact such as me touching her shoulder, leg, and holding hands. I literally had to ask like some 16-year-old nerdy kid who had never touched a woman before. We hugged goodbye. Third date nothing new. She sat next to me again, we kissed some, held hands a lot, nuzzled, and made a plan for another date. During the third date she confessed that she was "not innocent." I took this as an expression of sexual interest. During the fourth and final date, I suggested we grab some quick food and then drink some beer I bought. She said okay. We meet at the restaurant and she confesses she is part of a "swingers" group and is quite sexual. I tell her I'm familiar with it through my ex and don't have a problem with it. She says she was convinced I was a virgin and that she gave me the nickname "virgin" to her roommates. We talk fairly extensively about our sex lives, make out quite a bit. She confesses that she long ago lost count of how many partners she had and can fit three males in her mouth, among other things. I suggest we go back to her place to drink, she says we should go to a park but that she's "interested" in me, but just that she has to think about things since all this new information arose. We originally had plans to go to something together on Memorial Day. Yesterday I text her asking her if we are still on for Monday and she sends me a simple text back saying that "Things are not going to work out. I hope you find someone special." And like that, it's over. I'm okay with it - I was not in love with her personality and was not considering a relationship with her. But I would like to have a better understanding of what happened, why we made out, much less went out on four dates if the second I made a move she was going to run away. Perhaps she had considered it a sort of platonic thing, but then again we did make out. Anyway, it was great dating experience since I had never really been through it before, even with my ex. Just trying to learn and move forward.
cessna Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 I don't understand what you mean when you say she had to think about things since "this new information arose"? What new information? The information that she told you she can fit three dicks in her mouth at once? 3
Author Sunyata Posted May 23, 2015 Author Posted May 23, 2015 I don't understand what you mean when you say she had to think about things since "this new information arose"? What new information? The information that she told you she can fit three dicks in her mouth at once? Well, I think the new information about me not being totally weirded out by her lifestyle, not being a virgin, and wanting to take things to a physical level with her. She said she had no idea even though we cuddled and kissed on the 3rd date. She said she thought we would just make conversation and then not see each other again after the 4th date, which didn't make sense to me. The key is that when I tried to take things back to her house and we talked about whether we'd take it to that level or not, she instantly ended things.
MonorailCat Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Maybe she wanted something different from her usual swinger-guys. Getting together with a male virgin is something new for her .. different kind of adventure. When she realized you are not a virgin you were just a shy guy like so many else. Not too interesting. But who knows. Could have been anything. You really need to push your boundaries more and get physical much much quicker. 1
Emilia Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Some people get caught up in chasing a sexual identity, role plays, etc and they stop seeing others as human beings. She was only interested in seducing the virgin, she never had interest in you as a person. She realised you weren't the fantasy she hoped you to be so she walked away. You are better off without her, IMO, she would have dumped you anyway. 3
cessna Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Forget about her mate, she sounded like a waste of space anyway. Nicknaming you "virgin" to her friends? Maybe you should have nicknamed her "colossal whore". 2
LadyDeadpool Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Some people are just hypocrites. She's a swinger, but she might not like you because you have experience with that lifestyle and so she doesn't think you are dating material because of it. Sounds silly, I know, but it's more common than you'd think. Since you were never really into her, I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Its not worth the time since it's of no consequence to you. At least you can cross "date a complete hypocrite" off your bucket list.
Author Sunyata Posted May 23, 2015 Author Posted May 23, 2015 Some people are just hypocrites. She's a swinger, but she might not like you because you have experience with that lifestyle and so she doesn't think you are dating material because of it. Sounds silly, I know, but it's more common than you'd think. Since you were never really into her, I wouldn't dwell on it too much. Its not worth the time since it's of no consequence to you. At least you can cross "date a complete hypocrite" off your bucket list. Perhaps. It is confusing. It seemed like she was never considering getting physical with me, but we did make out and stuff. She said she thought her stories of the swinger lifestyle would corrupt my innocent heart. She also called herself the "reaper of virgins" in her high school, with pride. And said she recently slept with an 18-year-old (she's 25 now). So maybe she was into the virgin thing.
LadyDeadpool Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Perhaps. It is confusing. It seemed like she was never considering getting physical with me, but we did make out and stuff. She said she thought her stories of the swinger lifestyle would corrupt my innocent heart. She also called herself the "reaper of virgins" in her high school, with pride. And said she recently slept with an 18-year-old (she's 25 now). So maybe she was into the virgin thing. It does seem like the virgin thing is a turn on for her. But like I said, don't dwell on it too much. It's not like you were in love with her.
katiegrl Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 Frankly, since you say you ARE attracted to him, I am wondering how the hell you *are* able to wait so long to have sex. I know for me, and most women I know, when we are really attracted it is extremely difficult to NOT have sex! How do you suppress those sexual feelings? I hope you answer...I would really like to know this. Thanks!
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted May 24, 2015 Posted May 24, 2015 I think she just wanted to bone op lol. Should have ramped up the physicality it sounds like she was very receptive.
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