Never been married and in one's 30s (or more) - your thoughts?

[Craig]

Originally posted by shamen

Maybe it's healthy and maybe not, but I'm curious as to what people think. Do most people think that people who've never been married and in their 30s are bizarre and off-kilter, or have serious issues?

IMO, everyone is different and some will never be married by choice. I believe that it isn't how old a person is or whether they have been married that determines if a person is bizarre and off-kilter, or have serious issues. Anyone can be bizarre, off-kilter and/or have serious issues--even married (or previously married) people.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by shamen

Confused and Impressive,

 

Hope that you all meet the people of your dreams! And Confused, if it's meant to be... it will be.

 

Thanks. I didn't mean to rush things with the Ex. I was 100% positive she was the one.

 

She, on the other hand, was not nearly as positive as I was...and I should have taken the rose colored glasses off sooner.

[moimeme]

I have no problem living with someone without marriage. I never want to feel like I'm trapped forever. Isn't that awful that I think about marriage like a trap? So sorry, everybody. It just completely freaks me out

 

Until you find someone whose company you enjoy so much that you can't bear for him to ever go away. It happens.

[ConfusedInOC]

Originally posted by moimeme

Until you find someone whose company you enjoy so much that you can't bear for him to ever go away. It happens.

 

Companionship that you desire, all the time. That's what I had with the Ex. Definitely what will top my list as the #1 priority for my next relationship.

[shamen]

Originally posted by moimeme

Until you find someone whose company you enjoy so much that you can't bear for him to ever go away. It happens.

 

Wow guys... I didn't know that I could feel this way about someone. The only time that I've ever felt that way has been about friends. And this one friend of mine (maybe I should post about him someday)...

 

Have I just gotten callous??

 

Companionship I can see. But dealing with all of the other stuff. Living with them. Dealing with the day to day crap. Ugh, don't see it.

 

 

Craig,

 

Thanks for the affirmation that it's not just those of us who are single in our 30s and older who've got issues. Why do I forget this?

[SadAndLonely]

I'm 30, currently in a long-term relationship, have never been married, never had kids, and have been proposed to three times by three different men. I am SO GLAD I didn't marry any of them. I am SO GLAD I went back to school instead of pumping out babies.

 

I don't know why people feel sorry for those of us who don't bow to societal pressures. I have friends who are a married couple and just a bit younger than I am. They're pregnant (well, my female friend is), they have a lot of debt, and they're pretty much unable to get a house because once she has the baby, she'll have to quit her job. Meanwhile, I'm finishing up my degree (neither of them have a degree, and he only makes a moderate amount of money), have no debt, and don't plan on getting married or even bringing it up to my boyfriend until I'm settled into a nice job and have some money saved up.

 

I might not even have kids. I don't really plan to, at any rate. Ironically, kids LOVE me. I think it's because they see me on their level.

[shamen]

Sadandlonely,

 

I know what you mean about the societal pressure thing... it does seem sometimes that people feel sorry for us. I have never regretted my decision to not be married. I do have an advanced degree, which I'm glad that I did. I like my job, for the most part and that part of my life is pretty fulfilling (not that you can't do this married with kids, somehow I just think it's harder).

 

Even my love life is always interesting. If not amusing, and heartbreaking, and I can always walk out without feeling like I'm breaking a vow I made to whatever never to leave. Ewww. I can't help but look back at all the boyfriends that I've had and say, "It's been fuc*ing interesting!"

 

It's funny that you mention that kids love you... me too! I probably have a bunch, maybe too much, kid in me as well!