ephemeralme Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 .... how are you coping today? what good thing have you done for YOU today? ~~~~ I know there might be a comment about NOT looking at photos, but .. as someone who does some work with my photography, my photo file is FILLED with photos of him.. it is a job in itself to try to filter them into another folder. weeks ago, coming across his photos.. I would cry. tears of sadness for this loss. .. of times shared, love shared; places we had been and goodness shared. then, I looked and just saw the windows to his soul... I saw a dear man and someone I love and loved and cherished now... the feelings; emotions are almost troubling to me. I feel like I am a stranger-- looking at photos of strangers. I can see there are two people there who loved, had obvious joy with each other... but... I am almost numb to his face .... who are you? who were you? you are this person I so loved and looked forward to growing old with ...who are you? It is almost disconcerting to almost feel nothing ... looking at him in these photos doesn't invoke a smile or a good feeling right now.. there is not a sense of attraction like there used to be, it isn't cold and it isn't warm...it is just a person in a photo with me . it just feels strange and so bizarre and almost worrisome.. what is this? yes there is much hurt, sadness, loss, grief and pain with all of this, but I just don't understand this reaction now... has anyone ever encountered this? understand it? peace to all struggling today with heartache... sending you hugs.
Itspointless Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 but... I am almost numb to his face .... who are you? who were you? you are this person I so loved and looked forward to growing old with ...who are you? It is almost disconcerting to almost feel nothing ... looking at him in these photos doesn't invoke a smile or a good feeling right now.. there is not a sense of attraction like there used to be, it isn't cold and it isn't warm...it is just a person in a photo with me . There comes a point that our brain is just tired of everything, the same feelings, the same thoughts, everything time and time again. As a precaution we then start to dissociate: SELF FRAGMENTATION AND TRAUMA. Do not fool yourself, the feelings are still there and need to be dealt with. 1
Recommended Posts