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8 months strong until my PTSD got in the way and now she's gone. Thought I found my true flame. I'm left to wonder perhaps her own medical condition was too much for her to bear , let alone mine? Her condition never mattered to me. I only wanted to care for her and one day marry her. I became very insecure and struggled dealing w/ separation anxiety. It didn't end well and I was dumped via text msg. I begged and pleaded w/ her not to leave . My heart was contrite. I wasn't even worthy of a phone call!?! She was struggling financially and is on the verge of losing her business which she's owned over twenty years. Money was never an issue. I'd split my last penny w/ her. It's been a few weeks now and I'm having an extremely difficult time coping. I miss her so much. I'd drive a million miles if I had to. I'm starting to believe she couldn't reciprocate the love I had for her and waited for the opportune time to bail. Imo true love has no limits. She's done to me what some of the mean streets of Brooklyn never have- chew me up & spit me out. I don't know how to start life w/o her & that's what most scares me :((

Posted
8 months strong until my PTSD got in the way and now she's gone. Thought I found my true flame. I'm left to wonder perhaps her own medical condition was too much for her to bear , let alone mine? Her condition never mattered to me. I only wanted to care for her and one day marry her. I became very insecure and struggled dealing w/ separation anxiety. It didn't end well and I was dumped via text msg. I begged and pleaded w/ her not to leave . My heart was contrite. I wasn't even worthy of a phone call!?! She was struggling financially and is on the verge of losing her business which she's owned over twenty years. Money was never an issue. I'd split my last penny w/ her. It's been a few weeks now and I'm having an extremely difficult time coping. I miss her so much. I'd drive a million miles if I had to. I'm starting to believe she couldn't reciprocate the love I had for her and waited for the opportune time to bail. Imo true love has no limits. She's done to me what some of the mean streets of Brooklyn never have- chew me up & spit me out. I don't know how to start life w/o her & that's what most scares me :((

 

Give it some time my friend. You are having a very low day. It is normal you are still in.the shock phase. Be strong and braise for the highs and low of this painful roller coaster ride. Cry if you have to and talk to someone if you have the option. Just give it time and you will come out stronger and better than this I promise you. We have been there in a way or another..and I hope you get some closure from the stories and people here.

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Posted

Thank you Clover for taking the the time out to offer words of encouragement and thoughtful insight it is greatly appreciated. I used to be a player and never cared who I hurt including my ex wife back in the day. In my late 30s I realized the true consequences of hurting people and was well aware karma was going to pay me a visit. Sure enough it did and I paid tenfold. I decided it was time to search my soul , pay it forward expecting nothing in return and become in tune w/ the universe. I remained alone for 5 years and except for self pleasure I did not sleep around. The first year was most difficult but I immersed myself in work like never before. I apologized to the majority of women including my ex wife during that time. I was finally @ peace. When "L" and I met I felt obligated to divulge my past. She thanked me but in a few weeks took her 1st jab @ me. " oh well I'm not there so I'm sure you still have your contact list" I was not upset and offered any assurance she needed. I closed social media accounts & even changed my cell. I wanted to do whatever it took to let her know I was loyal to her and only her and I was!! My therapist told me I only need to live in the here and now and the past is on a need to know basis. In retrospect I guess that was my downfall. Even after 5 years of being alone I falsely felt I haven't done enough and still had to pay for my past. Maybe she wasn't the one for me maybe she did me a favor by ending it now. I try to rationalize the pros/cons and start healing but right now I can't. I miss her so ****ing much. I live in a city w/ tons of women but I can only see her face and 351 miles that never felt as far as now.. Brother , I thank you again for lending an ear I don't have many friends by choice and my pit Bella listens but can't give me any answers. :(: I wish you all the best. Always growth & elevation

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