Gottabestrong Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 So now I decided to give OLD another shot and with the "Compatibility Quiz" I just checked off every mark going down without reading it and I still just copy and paste "hey" to every girl I find attractive (I dont even read the profile). I just think it's a waste of time to read the profile or come up with anything clever because ultimately it's the pictures that determine interest. Am I wrong to think this way? In a word: yes. When I online dated I always read the messages, and I NEVER replied to someone who just wrote 'hey'. Even if his pictures made him look really attractive.
Male Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) The way I see it, any woman in her 40's who demands more from an online dating site can stay on that site (and usually do, for years). The women who are actually interested in meeting men and going on dates won't be so demanding. LOL You aint kidding about a lot of those women being on those sites for years. They are so high up on their pedestal that they eliminate pretty much the entire male population from being qualified. T Women typically expect the guy to approach them with "X" amount of words, energy, and enthusiasm. Yet the woman doesnt have to prove one bit if shes even worthy of his time and effort. The way I see it, our society pre-labels the woman as being already a step above, and the guy better have a good approach if he wants her to accept it. I think the standards of most women nowadays is way too high as far as what they expect from a guy just from him approaching her. Most women have never done it themselves, yet they sit back and critique men like they invented it. Edited May 26, 2015 by Male
Gary S Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 As little as a wink or a "Hi, how are you?" will get you just as many qualified responses on dating sites as anything else will. All you are doing is getting them to look at your profile. Also note that I wrote qualified responses. There are things that you can write to get more responses, but a higher number of those will not be attracted to your pictures. If guys want better response rates, they should improve their profile... mainly their looks (workout) and pictures.
phineas Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 LOL You aint kidding about a lot of those women being on those sites for years. They are so high up on their pedestal that they eliminate pretty much the entire male population from being qualified. T Women typically expect the guy to approach them with "X" amount of words, energy, and enthusiasm. Yet the woman doesnt have to prove one bit if shes even worthy of his time and effort. The way I see it, our society pre-labels the woman as being already a step above, and the guy better have a good approach if he wants her to accept it. I think the standards of most women nowadays is way too high as far as what they expect from a guy just from him approaching her. Most women have never done it themselves, yet they sit back and critique men like they invented it. Yeah well i also learned that if a woman is boring as hell in emails she's just as boring in real life and usually stop messaging them. Essentially, if the woman isn't making an effort to get to know me as much as I am trying to get to know her I forget them. same as in real life. If their boring, not making an effort then i got better things to do. Also, I get women I have zero interest in message me. I don't respond. so it's a two way street. OLD = low expectations. if I had a dollar for every time a woman showed up on a first date & I walked past her because she looked nothing like her pics.....
MissBee Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 (edited) I deleted my OLD account about three months ago because I never got any replies and when I did it was just for a girl to say something nasty about my pictures. I've wrote many clever things previously and it never made a difference. It got to the point that I just copy and pasted "hey" into every message because I think people check the pictures and if interested they will proceed to say hello back. So now I decided to give OLD another shot and with the "Compatibility Quiz" I just checked off every mark going down without reading it and I still just copy and paste "hey" to every girl I find attractive (I dont even read the profile). I just think it's a waste of time to read the profile or come up with anything clever because ultimately it's the pictures that determine interest. Am I wrong to think this way? I'm sure some women don't care. But for me, that tactic doesn't work. I check a man's profile before I read the message. Sure, if I'm physically attracted that helps, but I get instantly turned off when a man doesn't have a decent profile, he either just types this into the about me "lrieujhfreihgltrkgntr" or "Ask me" instant turn OFF! I assume he is lazy or not articulate, qualities I dislike. I have a filled out profile and basically have only ever gone on dates or ended up in a relationship with men from online who took the time to fill out their profiles and send me substantive messages. It's not pictures alone for me. It's a package. My last bf that I met online, I didn't find him super good looking (although he looked A LOT better in person) but what got me was his clever message and thoughtful profile and then we spoke from there, spoke on the phone and went out and I fell for him. I'm a woman who is stimulated by wit, intelligence, men who can keep me on my toes with conversation, who have something going on so because of that their written words are important to me. Not all women are like that though. I'm sure some are fine with the "Hey" type guys or the "ekrhgreilhnfkre" in their profile type guys or the "ask me" guys so long as they look good. The question is: why cater to women like that? If you don't want a woman who is only into looks then keep your original profile and know that the woman who does respond favorably likely appreciates that. I know most of the men who message me just look at my pictures, I don't care for them and it's often obvious and like I said, the only ones I've ever ended up taking it to the next level with (i.e. going on a date with and/or later it became a relationship) were those who exhibited some intelligence, wit, they all had a decent profile, as well as read and asked me about stuff on my profile. Edited May 26, 2015 by MissBee
LookAtThisPOst Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 LOL You aint kidding about a lot of those women being on those sites for years. Yep...I live in a more rural area and I had seen the same faces on POF every day. They've become permanent fixtures of the site. I figured that living in a smaller community, they'd be willing to be more flexible in what they are looking for, at least physically. There are no real Mr. GQ's in my neck of the woods. What happens is, these women come to these small towns, usually from the big city and they take the big city with them. They usually wind up here for: 1. To be closer to their parents (not live with them, just closer in proximity). 2. Got a new job here. They realize after a year of living here that everyone is married, living together, or look like someone from Larry the Cable Guy's family. LOL So they come online to explore something they'll never find in these parts. I sometimes go browsing around the area on POF to still see their faces on here. lol.
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