spiderowl Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 (edited) I'm feeling a bit guilty tonight and wondering what I should do (if anything). I got chatting to a guy online last night who sounded very nice. In the end, we swapped numbers and he phoned me last night. We had a brief but friendly chat. I thought he'd said he would phone me tonight early evening but he didn't. Later on, something clicked in my brain and I realised he'd said something about meeting up online early evening and, for some reason, it hadn't registered for me that he meant on the computer rather than on the phone. I think he just wanted to check I was around before phoning. So I think I may have inadvertently 'stood him up' online. He didn't ring and I had to go out anyway for the evening. I discovered has now left the dating site. I know people do this all the time but I am certain this guy was genuine and would only have done this if he was upset. When we talked on the phone, he sounded very nice, but taking it all very seriously. He sounded a bit down to be honest because I hadn't seemed eager to speak to him initially and other, rather dubious women, had been eager to meet up quickly. At the back of my mind, I was wondering if I wanted to get too involved with someone who was going to be assuming 'this was it' when we hadn't even met and I hadn't seen a picture of him! But, that aside, I was going to talk with him when he rang. Now that he hasn't rung and I've realised he meant we should connect online first, I feel a bit guilty about that. I hope he didn't leave because of me. I thought about texting his number to see if he was OK but I'm a bit concerned about someone who would take what I see as drastic action because an online person didn't respond as expected. I know he was new to online dating though and had doubts about the kind of women who'd been contacting him. What would you have done in his situation and do you think it would be wise for me to contact him to see if he's OK? I don't want to get involved in anything serious from the start though don't want to appear to be unreliable and callous either. Edited May 23, 2015 by spiderowl
avintagegirl Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 If this were me, I would call him. Don't text. You genuinely feel bad, let him hear it. Tone in texting can be taken too many ways. Just call him and be honest and say you realized he meant online and not a phone call. If it were me I would also do it sooner than later. I would also do it if I was only really interested in knowing more about him.
aloneinaz Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 First, I'd never contact anyone who didn't post pictures on the site. Second, it's a bit weird if you ask me. If he was interested, he would of texted you or called you. The fact that he deleted his profile would make me say "next" and keep looking.. 1
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Text him. Unless he's some stalker you have nothing to lose but a bit of time.
jen1447 Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 I'd contact him (whichever way) just to fix it. The two things are really separate issues. If he was hurt you 'dodged' him, you can apologize, but if he comes across as too needy, your apology doesn't have to mean you're ready to go to the limit with him. I think you'll feel better if you do.
Popsicle Posted May 23, 2015 Posted May 23, 2015 Look, if he didn't have a picture up, I assure you, he's hiding something, so don't feel bad at all and don't go chasing after him. That's asking for trouble. He's probably either hideous-looking or married! 2
Author spiderowl Posted May 23, 2015 Author Posted May 23, 2015 Thanks for all your replies. I was wary because of the lack of photo, but when talking to him on the phone he seemed nervous about online dating. But the problem has been resolved. I thought I might text him to see if he was OK but then I realised he had withheld his number when he phoned me. I must seem really scary! Anyway, I can't respond so that's that. Thank you all for your help.
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