maysj18 Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Pretty simple story line: - had a great first date with someone I met online - we live an hour apart and he has a very demanding job time wise, so we haven't made plans for a second date yet because his weekends are booked most of the time - keep in constant contact every day Now, my question is this: how do I bring up the fact that I will gladly drive to his city since my weekends aren't so crazy? I don't want to just invite myself, but I also don't want him thinking that's not an option. Maybe he thinks it'd be rude to ask me to make the drive so early on? He also could just not be that interested, period. It's really never come up. It's been like 3 weeks since our first date and I just don't see the point in continuing to talk if it's going to be this sporadic. Does that make sense? I find him interesting and attractive, so I'd like to make that one little suggestion to gauge his response, but I don't want it coming across as needy. what do you all think?
d0nnivain Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Three weeks after the 1st date with no mention of a 2nd date . . . nobody is that busy. Is there anything you want to do in his town or nearby coming up? If so I;d make plans to do that but tell him, I'm going to be in your town next weekend for _________ . Any chance you'd be available to grab a drink / bite with me while i'm there? 1
sandylee1 Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 You could say there's a really good place in his city you'll be going to do some shopping at and maybe you guys could meet up at a restaurant after you've finished or something. Do try and find find some good shops in his city to go, so it's not a total lie. If he blows you off, you'll know he's not overly keen.
Author maysj18 Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 Yeah see, I live in the cool city, not him. So, there is basically no reason for me to go there ever. With that being said, is it even worth mentioning or should I just write this one off?
losangelena Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 You haven't made plans to hang out again, but you're still talking everyday? Is that the case? If you're looking for a way to bring it up, I would just bring it up. Say hey, it's been a while since we saw each other, how 'bout I come up this weekend? I don't think you need to tiptoe around it. In situations like this, I will always make a hail mary pass. There's no harm in it, and ultimately the sting of rejection is very slight—you've seen each other once, so if it comes out that he's not interested enough, no harm, no foul; it doesn't come as a huge surprise. After the first few times seeing my BF, he did something similar in that he kept in contact but wasn't asking me out again. I figured it was because he wasn't that interested, but I reached out to him one more time and said, "hey I'm free next Tuesday, do you want to go grab dinner?," and he said yes. That was nine months ago. In hindsight, I'm so glad I made that move.
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