Caslina Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Hello, I'm feeling kind of nervous. It the day of the date and I have yet to receive any time or plans. I met this guy last week at my belly dance show. He was DJ-ing that night at the same joint. He said he loved how I dance and because I do it with a smile that catches people's attention. We chat a little almost everyday over FB over the weeks and he asked me to go out with him on Friday which is tonight. He said he was thing of a present (it was my birthday yesterday) etc. Today its already 13:00 and I still don't know what time or where we are meeting. I finish work at 18:00. should I just go home or text him and ask? Kinda bummed.
aloneinaz Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Text him and ask. Be casual. "Hey, whats our plan tonight"? 1
El Pallasso Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Ask. I never understood why many females are so shy. Just ask. Sheesh.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Well if he mentioned Friday and no specifics, that is when you speak up and ask what the time/plan is. Don't just accept a day and then hope to hear from him later on.
TaraMaiden2 Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 Why does the guy have to do everything....? C'mon lady - move with the moment, be like, 21st century Gal! 1
Author Caslina Posted May 25, 2015 Author Posted May 25, 2015 Thank you all. I decided to text him and ask. He said he is flexible about the time and place. He would like to eat and maybe go somewhere to eat. He also said he thought I have planned it out. I told him I never told him that. I just kept Friday night because he told me, too. What a tw4t. He asked me if I'm still down. Since I didn't have anything else to do. I told him yes, tell me the time and place. So he did. The date was okay but he didn't plan anything. He was cute and funny so I gave him peck on the lips. Now he's asking me out again to play darts at bar and watch movie at his place and it's only second date. what do you guys think should I go on a second date?
michellew Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 You don't sound very enthusiastic about seeing him again. Do you like him? If not, then I'd pass. If you are unsure, meet him for darts and skip the movie at his place. That is usually code for sex. 6
GemmaUK Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 I would go for a game of darts but no way would I agree to go to his place on a second date.
El Pallasso Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Yeah, you should go. You might end up pleasantly surprised with how nice the date will go.
introverted1 Posted May 25, 2015 Posted May 25, 2015 Not sure if it's how you're relaying events or just what it is, but it seems somehow underwhelming to me.... 1
computersandsuch Posted May 26, 2015 Posted May 26, 2015 Happened to me before. Didn't end well. She came up with an excuse like her grandmother was sick in the hospital.
spiderowl Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 No information about the date by 1pm the same day means no date. If he can't plan ahead one day, then he doesn't get a date. It's not fair to leave you wondering and it is up to him to confirm things. Would he leave it that late to plan a football match with his friends? I doubt it. 1
cessna Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 Firstly, why do you expect him to do all the work? You should have just asked him instead of coming on here and asking what to do. Secondly, if he is a twat why did you kiss him? Because he's cute and funny? Get yourself some respect girl. You are why I am quickly losing respect for women altogether.
MissBee Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 I would ask but he would also lose points for that. I HATE flakiness and ambiguous plans in terms of dating esp early on. I like concrete plans and men with manners. I like if you say Friday that you tell me the time and place beforehand or at least by Thursday. I have a life I have other stuff to do and I like to know exactly what time and place so I can plan around it. I feel like when people don't tell you a time they are disrespecting your time and think that whenever they feel like, even one hour before they can just pop up and all you to meet as if you couldn't possibly have anything else to do or you should just leave your entire Friday until midnight free incase at 11:59 they ask if you still want to hang out. I HATE this. I like clear and decisive men who have good manners. My last bf won so many points because in the beginning he planned dates well in advance and would let me know at least the day before, but usually two days before what time. I hate nothing more than the anxiety you feel of not knowing and just waiting indefinitely, that's a turn off and I like to go into the day of the date already knowing I have a date at 8:30pm tonight so I can plan the rest of my night around how long will it take to get ready, what I'll wear etc. AFTER we've been dating for a while you can be spontaneous and just call me up for an impromptu thing but before then especially a first date, don't ask me out with no set plans and on the day OF I'm the one still waiting and having to reach out you. Instant turn off... It's just poor manners. Dudes like this tend not to be serious in my own experience. 1
MissBee Posted May 27, 2015 Posted May 27, 2015 (edited) Also, wtf planet are people on who are saying why should she expect him to do all the work?? I'm sorry, but it you ask someone on a date, YOU tell them the time and place. How is this not common sense? If I ask my friend to hang out or come by my house for an event I don't then expect they should come up with the time or place... This is nonsense. If I ask a man to go out with me or if I ask a friend, I tell them the date and time at least by morning of since I have manners and common sense and also know they have other things to do and might need to make room. On what planet would I ask you to go out and then expect that you should need to tell me when and where, that means the person is not that interests or has zero social graces . OP this is ridiculous. It is perfectly reasonably to expect that an adult male who asks you out on a date makes some kind of plan. This is not that much work and if a man asks me out and expects me to figure out the date or time and place and expressed it was too much work for him to say let's meet for dinner at 8pm Friday at Such place , he could keep it moving as he's not easy for real life . Some people may very well love this dynamic, you don't and lots of women don't either. I don't like a man who is indecisive, who is idle, who thinks thinking of a time and place is so much work, like dude seriously, grow a pair and get a life. It works the exact same for me. If I ask anyone, romantic or otherwise, to hang out or go on a date I tell them the time and place in a timely fashion. People like this are probably also horrible at business relations as much of the social etiquette and common sense one needs to build good rapport in business relations are also relevant to social interactions. I can't imagine doing a business lunch, asking the other person to meet for it then expecting they will come up with the time and place smh nuts lmao. Edited May 27, 2015 by MissBee
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