Comrox Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 My boyfriend and I have been together for the last year and a half. We've been long distance since the start (I originally met him online, then when I met him in person a year and a half ago, we started our relationship). I knew him so well at that point that it was truly love at first sight. Despite the distance, we have learned to respect and love each other deeply. He's my best friend. We talk every day, and have a lot of fun when we're together in person too (we try to see each other every other week). We've rarely fought. We just work so well together. We've had so many plans and dreams for the future. I was confident that we were going to last a long time. Especially with him telling me that this is the best relationship he's ever had and he loves me so much. And he even asked me to marry him one day, a few months ago. Here's the problem. We're extremely different culturally. He is not very religious himself, but his family is, and he's very close to them. I have absolutely no problem with this... except for the fact that I've never met them (he's met mine). He's told me that if he introduced me to his family, they would try to force us apart. If he stayed with me still, they would disown him. Now he says his family has started to look for a wife for him to marry in a few years. I'm absolutely devastated. I was willing to do whatever I possibly could to make us work. I consider myself very open-minded, and because of our great respect for one another, I thought we could do it. Now, I've very lost and confused. All of a sudden, we're not on the same page anymore. We're still in love with each other, which makes this situation a lot harder. He wants to stay with me for a while longer, until around the time he has to get married. I do too, but at the same time, I'm already hurting so much over losing him. I'm terrified of being without him, and it's been tearing me apart the last few days. But I'm not sure I can stay with him anymore knowing our relationship has a set time limit. I feel used and lied to, even though I know his feelings are real and using me was never his intention. He knows he's been hurting me, and he says that my pain is killing him inside. He's been telling me how sorry he is. The stress of his family's expectations is building up for him and he doesn't know what to do. Do I enjoy my time with him and try to make the best of what we have left, or do I let him go now? If anyone has advice or personal experiences they would like to share, it would be appreciated. Thanks.
CC12 Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 He wants to stay with me for a while longer, until around the time he has to get married. ?! I mean, if you want to stay with him for another year or few until he leaves you for someone else, go for it, I guess. But what he's asking you to do is completely selfish on his part. That is a totally outrageous request and I'm surprised someone would even consider accepting that deal. You're better than that, aren't you? He knows he's been hurting me, and he says that my pain is killing him inside. Aww, that poor baby! He'd probably end up feeling better if he did the respectful and honorable thing by ending your relationship now instead of keeping you on the hook for another few years until he's done with you and moves on to the woman he's supposed to spend the rest of his life with. Come the **** on, OP.
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