frs1627 Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 So about a month ago, my 2.5 year relationship ended. She got drunk and cheated on me in January, told me in February and I was trying my best to forgive and move on after that but didn't work out. So we ended it in mid April. We tried going on a break and after 2 days by myself NC I realized how much happier I was without her. No added stress, no bad thoughts and I felt free. I realized I loved her but I was not IN love with her ever since she told me what happened. She thought we were going to get back together and I pretty much said no, not happening. So a month into the break up, I have kept NC, no desire to text or message her. I don't stalk her fb...well she blocked me which is perfectly fine. I deleted all pictures and everything. I don't think about her or hope to get back together. I have no hate towards or her any emotions. I can seriously careless about her. If anything people come up to me telling me that she's posting dramatic stuff on social media, and I just laugh and say oh well. So now, I have been talking to this girl. She is pretty much everything I ever wanted in a significant other. She is actually someone who I deserve to be with. We hung out once and we had an amazing time. She said she enjoyed it and wants to hang out again. We will be hanging out again tomorrow It was literately had 2 drinks and talked the entire night from 10pm to 4am at a lounge. No kisses were exchange. We sat on out the cough in the lounge and she was leaning on me and I had my arm around her. FYI we did/do talk frequently before that and we see each other at work when we have the same work days. We are both Registered Nurses and we are able to keep it very professional on the job. With her, everything feels comfortable and natural. I can be myself around her. Very easy to talk to. We have a lot of things in common. Sometimes I even get nervous and those butterfly feelings come out. I'm trying to take things slow with her b/c this is someone I don't want to be a rebound but yet I know if we do date, it will be something special.
GTR King Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) 1 months after a 2.5 year relationship is too soon to be dating give it attest 5-6 months so you can heal & have time to your self etc... you don't wanna hurt this girls feeing etc. you can feel ready to move on but your using her to get over ur ex. as you will be doing similar stuff e.g going cinema out for food/other places etc. you need time to your self Edited May 21, 2015 by GTR King
Author frs1627 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 1 months after a 2.5 year relationship is too soon to be dating give it attest 5-6 months so you can heal & have time to your self etc... you don't wanna hurt this girls feeing etc But, I feel as if I already moved on. I looked back at the relationship and there was just no connection the last 4 months of it b/c of what she did. I wanted to move on while i was in the relationship. It was if I was getting over my ex while I was still stuck with her. I don't feel any pain or heart ache from the break up. I did have another long term relationship before that one and when we broke up I was an emotional B*tch doing everything but NC. So it's like I'm seeing both ends of the spectrum
GTR King Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I know you feel ready but if you like this girl then take things slowly so you don't mess her about. 1 month is still to soon to start dating. I say keep N/C with your ex and just say to new girl i wanna talk things slowly & not rush anything. that best option for now
Author frs1627 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 I know you feel ready but if you like this girl then take things slowly so you don't mess her about. 1 month is still to soon to start dating. I say keep N/C with your ex and just say to new girl i wanna talk things slowly & not rush anything. that best option for now Yea that's my exact plan. The only reason I would have to communicate with the ex would be to just give her her crap back. Other than that no desire to be talking to her. With the new girl its obvious the interest is there mutually but we are not rushing things at all. If anything our work schedule is making it easy for us to take things slowly. There's still a lot to know about her so I'm trying my very best to not screw things up by rushing. I'll try to keep it casual dating nothing crazy.
GTR King Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Yeah thats the best option as your still healing from your last relationship. Just be friends for now & take things slowly & over time you will like her more etc... You need to be sure you are ready to date & that you like her
Author frs1627 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 Yeah thats the best option as your still healing from your last relationship. Just be friends for now & take things slowly & over time you will like her more etc... You need to be sure you are ready to date & that you like her I agree. The pace is perfect right now. Thank you for the input!
aloneinaz Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I totally disagree that you need MONTHS to heal and recover after the end of a relationship. I also started to date after 1 month. I wasn't looking to jump into another relationship but sitting home alone ruminating over my ex wasn't good. Are you OVER you ex. No way but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy the company of the opposite sex. It helps you heal in that it reminds you there are plenty of other people who are interested in you. I met my current GF 3 months after my ex dumped me. We're approaching two years together and I couldn't be happier. Most people KNOW when they are ready to date again. Some date sooner and others take longer. I'm just not an advocate of having to spend X amount of time "healing", spending time by yourself to think of your last relationship. Yes, some alone time is needed to get you head right again but just don't over do it while having a pity party, listening to sad songs while staring at pictures of the person who said they don't want you in their life anymore. Lifes WAY to short.. 1
Author frs1627 Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 I totally disagree that you need MONTHS to heal and recover after the end of a relationship. I also started to date after 1 month. I wasn't looking to jump into another relationship but sitting home alone ruminating over my ex wasn't good. Are you OVER you ex. No way but it doesn't mean you can't enjoy the company of the opposite sex. It helps you heal in that it reminds you there are plenty of other people who are interested in you. I met my current GF 3 months after my ex dumped me. We're approaching two years together and I couldn't be happier. Most people KNOW when they are ready to date again. Some date sooner and others take longer. I'm just not an advocate of having to spend X amount of time "healing", spending time by yourself to think of your last relationship. Yes, some alone time is needed to get you head right again but just don't over do it while having a pity party, listening to sad songs while staring at pictures of the person who said they don't want you in their life anymore. Lifes WAY to short.. I totally agree with what you're saying. My first break up was bad. Took me a year to get over it and work on myself. That was also 2.5 year relationship. This latest one was so much easier to move forward from. I don't have the same "break up feelings" as compared to last time. I know I'm not in denial and I have accepted the break up and I'm 10000% better than I was while in the relationship.
aloneinaz Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 I totally agree with what you're saying. My first break up was bad. Took me a year to get over it and work on myself. That was also 2.5 year relationship. This latest one was so much easier to move forward from. I don't have the same "break up feelings" as compared to last time. I know I'm not in denial and I have accepted the break up and I'm 10000% better than I was while in the relationship. Thats where ssoo many people get STUCK.. They let there emotions TRAP them into thinking there's a chance to get back together or they can't accept that it's really over. Just read the recent posts here. So many people are in denial and are clinging to any hope that the dumper will come back and everything will be perfect. Sorry, that's simply not reality. The sooner you can accept it's over and that part of your life is history, the sooner you can move forward. My mind set when I got dumped was "enough".. I WILL not go back to this woman nor will I EVER contact her again. I was really F-up for a couple of weeks but by week three I felt much better. That thought process propelled me forward thru it. We take relationship failures way to seriously. I use to as well but I learned that life is short, why waste time and energy on someone that doesn't want us in their lives. Move on and find someone who will
Author frs1627 Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 Thats where ssoo many people get STUCK.. They let there emotions TRAP them into thinking there's a chance to get back together or they can't accept that it's really over. Just read the recent posts here. So many people are in denial and are clinging to any hope that the dumper will come back and everything will be perfect. Sorry, that's simply not reality. The sooner you can accept it's over and that part of your life is history, the sooner you can move forward. My mind set when I got dumped was "enough".. I WILL not go back to this woman nor will I EVER contact her again. I was really F-up for a couple of weeks but by week three I felt much better. That thought process propelled me forward thru it. We take relationship failures way to seriously. I use to as well but I learned that life is short, why waste time and energy on someone that doesn't want us in their lives. Move on and find someone who will You're absolutely right. They are called an x for a reason...they are crossed out. Why waste my energy on false hope on someone who broke the trust and treated me poorly when I can find someone who give me real love and treat me the way I should be. And honestly....this new girl I'm talking to has a lot of potential do such. I just have to keep it slow and steady...not too slow though I don't want her to feel like she is just being dragged along with no process.
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