To Everyone Struggling: Insecurity, Heartbreak and Recovery

[loveweary11]

This post is for anyone who feels like it won't get better.

 

I was with you all. I thought the same way.

 

After my 12 year relationship ended, 10 of those married, I can recall driving hundreds of miles to try and see my ex wife. Just to run into her. Drove to parent's houses hundreds and a thousand miles away. Did not work, did not eat. I drowned my sorrow with lots of hevy drinking. I felt I was too old to get back out there and do it again. 6 months of my life was literally a haze, while battling with her as well. I was in a deep psychosis. See, a lot of my self validation came from my marriage.

 

Fast forward 2 years. I never think about the ex anymore except when relevant on Love Shack. I'm hapier by myself than I've ever been in my life. I used to be more insecure. I'd have to drown myself in alcohol just to talk with people. I was really nervous around them. This is before I was married. My ex wasn't a drinkers or anything, so I wasn't either anymore during those 12 years.

 

Now, after the time required to recover from the breakup has gone by, I feel so comfortable in my own skin. I don't need to e drunk to talk to girls, I don't feel like it's hopeless.

 

On the contrary, I feel the same abou women as I do about everything else in life... that I xan and will get anything I set my sights on. And it's true.

 

What I'm saying here is there is light at the end of the tunnel. That you WILL emerge from the fog, self doubt and general confusion.

 

You'll look back and noitice you were pretty screwed up for a bit.

 

But also... there will be positives and new strengths that develop as you emerge from the crisis.

 

I didn't think it would happen for me, but it did. It will for you, too. Not quickly, but it will.

 

Just keep going through the motions until something in your head changes. It will.

[Lizrd3000]

I Always feel like I'm different and will hurt forever.

But reading your post made me realize I'm not alone.

I usually dwell on hurt seemingly far longer than other people, or so it seems atleast. but reading your post made me realize that you're somewhat the same, which is a great feeling to be honest. If your ''confusion'' you're talking about is the same confusion Im experiencing, which I think it is, is giving me lots of hope for the future. I feel hopeless most of the time, ''knowing'' that I'm different from the rest and I'll probably never find something like what I had again. But that's just my mind dealing with rejection, trying to get the person back that rejected me. But those thoughts are primitive, its only logical I'll find someone new, if I put myself out there and do my best.

 

 

Thanks for the uplifting post. I should go work out about now. lmao

[Lostgirl50]

Thank you so much for writing this message. You have given me hope. I was married a very long time and divorced for 1 year and 3 months. It still hurts. I was just wondering if it is going to hurt forever. The pain is so encompassing. During the day I keep myself so busy so I don't have time to think about him. At nite I cannot do anything more due to being exhausted, and at is when the pain overwhelms me. Your message has given me hope that with time the pain will ease. Thank you. I needed to hear it.

[fawnlawn]

You should consider being a motivational speaker or something. Seriously. I don't think I've ever read so much positivity from one person.

 

(I don't have PM or I'd have PM'ed you ages ago so thank you for your offer and thank you for all the positivity you post!)

[DinnerForOne]

Today I needed to hear that.... one day I will BELIEVE it.

[I4givehim]

This post is for anyone who feels like it won't get better.

 

I was with you all. I thought the same way.

 

After my 12 year relationship ended, 10 of those married, I can recall driving hundreds of miles to try and see my ex wife. Just to run into her. Drove to parent's houses hundreds and a thousand miles away. Did not work, did not eat. I drowned my sorrow with lots of hevy drinking. I felt I was too old to get back out there and do it again. 6 months of my life was literally a haze, while battling with her as well. I was in a deep psychosis. See, a lot of my self validation came from my marriage.

 

Fast forward 2 years. I never think about the ex anymore except when relevant on Love Shack. I'm hapier by myself than I've ever been in my life. I used to be more insecure. I'd have to drown myself in alcohol just to talk with people. I was really nervous around them. This is before I was married. My ex wasn't a drinkers or anything, so I wasn't either anymore during those 12 years.

 

Now, after the time required to recover from the breakup has gone by, I feel so comfortable in my own skin. I don't need to e drunk to talk to girls, I don't feel like it's hopeless.

 

On the contrary, I feel the same abou women as I do about everything else in life... that I xan and will get anything I set my sights on. And it's true.

 

What I'm saying here is there is light at the end of the tunnel. That you WILL emerge from the fog, self doubt and general confusion.

 

You'll look back and noitice you were pretty screwed up for a bit.

 

But also... there will be positives and new strengths that develop as you emerge from the crisis.

 

I didn't think it would happen for me, but it did. It will for you, too. Not quickly, but it will.

 

Just keep going through the motions until something in your head changes. It will.

 

Thank you!!!! I needed to read this. I know there is a light at the end of the tunnel, but some days I feel that it is a very dim light. This has made me turn my frown upside down