SearchingForMyself Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Searching here. Is it me or does it seem that sensitivity in me on is seen as an anti masculine trait? Sensitivity means openly expressing emotions without being whiny. Being artistic. Into TV shows like Glee, Jane the Virgin, etc. Okay bad examples. Anyway, is sensitivity a turn off to most women?
alphamale Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Anyway, is sensitivity a turn off to most women? yes, excessive sensitivity is frowned upon by women. this doesn't mean a man cannot cry when his dog dies. 3
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Well, you can be sensitive but it cannot be overly sensitive...maybe compassionate, and empathize, but you risk the allure of a man who is masculine. But consider what "masculinity" is in 2015, it's basically a beard or some kind of facial hair and driving a car or having a job...most of these guys I could punch in the face and they'd probably not do anything, even apologize to me for provoking it. Contrast that to the older generations (pre 70's) and I'd probably (deservingly so) end up in a street fight, where the pussy wouldn't try to stab or shoot me because he can't win a fight or lose one. In reality, masculinity has died down a whole lot at it is...you just don't see anymore, you don't see masculine traits, qualities and behaviors. So the watered down version of it today is simply being not so sensitive and whining...really those are the two things. Otherwise, look at the kind of women men date today, there's not much "masculinity" going on...and on top of it, they avoid being "sensitive" and "emotionally" in order to be like tough-guys or "men"....the jokes on them, most of them are quite feminized these days regardless of how much they may try to pretend to be...men.
Guitarisgood Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Depends how it comes across. It's the mask you hide under your everyday one i.e. you carry yourself as a bloke then you have all your other stuff underneath. This is the stuff that when you date a chick or meet new friends, they go 'oh, you paint?' 'Oh you...' and then you can give them your little 'this is my passion...' speech. Seriously the world isn't black or white. Anything goes and anything can be good or accepted depending on how you project it i.e. the creepy guy thread 1
preraph Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I mean, it just depends on the degree of sensitivity and how it manifests itself. I think most women want a guy they can come to with their problems and he'll listen sympathetically and comfort her, and that is sensitivity. I don't think any woman wants a guy who starts blubbering every time things don't go his way or whines about how life sucks and all that nonsense. I want to know a man has feelings. I once thought a particular guy was really sensitive because he would get that puppy dog look in his eyes, but then I realized later he just had one droopy eye that made him look like he was giving a sympathetic squint. One of my old love interests broke down over another woman at my apartment and I found it hugely off-putting. But it wasn't because he was crying. It was because he had nearly put me in the nuthouse and made me so miserable. Midway through when he wasn't getting the expected reaction (warmth), he said, "Oh, no, this is what I did to you, isn't it?" And then he started crying some more and I found that less offputting.
carhill Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Searching here. Is it me or does it seem that sensitivity in me on is seen as an anti masculine trait? My experience has been that, generally, women like a man who is sensitive to her feelings and needs though attraction has varied, meaning 'like' and 'attractive' aren't the same thing. However, a man being sensitive to his own feelings and needs has found mixed results, generally relevant to attraction. The stronger the attraction, the less likely such sensitivity will be perceived as unmasculine or creepy. Sensitivity means openly expressing emotions without being whiny.That makes sense but it is, or can be, wildly subjective, meaning what is 'whiny' varies markedly from person to person and interaction to interaction. Being artistic. Into TV shows like Glee, Jane the Virgin, etc. Okay bad examples.Heh, pursuits can be indicative of one's sensitivity but don't have to be, hence being artistic doesn't have to mean one is sensitive emotionally. Anyway, is sensitivity a turn off to most women?Within the narrow parameters I defined and with sufficient attraction, IME no, it's not a turn-off. Outside of that milieu, IME again, yes. Be aware that this can change at any moment. Commitment and 'I love you' are no guarantee of anything beyond right now. You can be a god today and a whiny creep tomorrow. That's life!
katiegrl Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I like a man who's a little rough around the edge on the outside, but a softie on the inside -- meaning sensitive to others and the world around him. NOT overly sensitive to his own needs aka being needy and whiny. Bruce Willis comes to mind - tough guy on the outside but TOTAL softie on the inside. This may sound corny to some, but his daughter Rumor was a contestant on Dancing With The Stars and many of her dances brought him to tears - literally! She won the whole shebang by the way...which brought on even more tears... Same with Sly Stallone. Total tough guy....but a softie inside. I love that combo of tough guy/sensitive guy.
phineas Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 One of my best friends in college would take stray puppies in, help guys who got their ass kicked by a bouncer, give homeless on the street change, ect. But, he was damned good looking & got more ass than a public toilet seat. When I first met him, I honestly wondered if he was gay & hitting on me when he asked if I wanted to get a few beers. They were beers so WTF right? All he had to do was just say "hi" to a woman walking buy and he was almost always in like flynn. so at this point in my life I can only deduce as long as a man is good looking he could masturbate in public & use two tissues because he cried when he came & at least enough women present will still be attracted to him and he will have a problem deciding which one to take home. 3
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 A lot like it at first, but once out of the honeymoon period, it greatly bothers most. Low Alpha score = low value to most girls.
preraph Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 A man who demonstrates that he really loves his animals will bring tears to my eyes, but oddly, most of the man I was involved with didn't have pets and one was definitely lukewarm about them. I put it off to being young at the time. I didn't have pets when I was in my younger years either and out on my own because I wasn't at home enough.
calvincline47 Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 One of my best friends in college would take stray puppies in, help guys who got their ass kicked by a bouncer, give homeless on the street change, ect. But, he was damned good looking & got more ass than a public toilet seat. When I first met him, I honestly wondered if he was gay & hitting on me when he asked if I wanted to get a few beers. They were beers so WTF right? All he had to do was just say "hi" to a woman walking buy and he was almost always in like flynn. so at this point in my life I can only deduce as long as a man is good looking he could masturbate in public & use two tissues because he cried when he came & at least enough women present will still be attracted to him and he will have a problem deciding which one to take home. Definitely this. Looks matter more than anything else. Much more.
Author SearchingForMyself Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 Definitely this. Looks matter more than anything else. Much more. Just like in that creepy thread, most of the women will hide the faxt that you can get away with anything if you're attractive. Sensitivity is one of those things. That creepy thread was so full of anecdotal bs.
Krieger Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) Well if a guy is crying over every thing like if a woman wants to go out with friends. All woman will find it a turn off IMO> I know once I get accepted into nursing school I know I shed a few tears because I did it. I willing most woman will say there is nothing more manly than a guy who is comfortable enough with himself and his feelings to cry. It shows he has a heart, and feelings. Human beings were made with the ability to feel pain, anguish, and sadness. We were also given emotions, tears and the ability to cry to express those feelings and release them. Crying shows you are human, whether you are a man or a woman. I was talking to one of my class mates and her BF working in the NICU neonatal intensive care unit. Anyway she said proud of her BF because of this. He had a 5 month old boy that died a long painful death because he father slammed his head against the wall and he spent many nights in a rocking chair holding him so that he knew what it felt like to feel safe and cared for at least once before he left this earth. Several weeks later when he finally did pass away he cried both tears or sorrow and tears of joy that his suffering was over. If a man cant cry after that than what can he cry over? I know i might cry if I had removed a patient's wedding band just before we withdrew life support. As I placed the band in his wife's hand, she just started quietly sobbing. It was my second day caring for him and I had bonded with the family. My tears flew almost as freely as hers I just know I might cry some times . It because I feel for the family and if a child dies there is noting wrong with crying over that. It mostly because I would of felt like a failure like i could of done more. Edited May 21, 2015 by Krieger 2
GoodOnPaper Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I like a man who's a little rough around the edge on the outside, but a softie on the inside. Yes, you only get credit for being sensitive if you appear insensitive to the world at large. <shakes head> 1
Author SearchingForMyself Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 Based on katiegirls post I kinda wonder if she is chronically single or not. I kid.
Krieger Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I am in touch with my emotions and not scared to cry . Like I said if a woman cant deal with it she not a woman I want to date. For example if i got a job at a children's hospital and taking care of kids with cancer and get to know the family and there child if he or she does not make it . I might come home to my GF and cry in front of her for a few minutes . Than wipe them away and feel better. I just cant help but feel peoples pain. The key is not to cry over stupid stuff no woman will respect you as a man. I still can call people out on there BS and speak my mind and tell people when there being a D bag. 1
Krieger Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Well, you can be sensitive but it cannot be overly sensitive...maybe compassionate, and empathize, but you risk the allure of a man who is masculine. But consider what "masculinity" is in 2015, it's basically a beard or some kind of facial hair and driving a car or having a job...most of these guys I could punch in the face and they'd probably not do anything, even apologize to me for provoking it. Contrast that to the older generations (pre 70's) and I'd probably (deservingly so) end up in a street fight, where the pussy wouldn't try to stab or shoot me because he can't win a fight or lose one. In reality, masculinity has died down a whole lot at it is...you just don't see anymore, you don't see masculine traits, qualities and behaviors. So the watered down version of it today is simply being not so sensitive and whining...really those are the two things. Otherwise, look at the kind of women men date today, there's not much "masculinity" going on...and on top of it, they avoid being "sensitive" and "emotionally" in order to be like tough-guys or "men"....the jokes on them, most of them are quite feminized these days regardless of how much they may try to pretend to be...men. Woman are the ones that made men less masculine and wanted a more sensitive guy. Also the fact that a lot of single moms are raising boys with no male role model in his life. That leads men to be mentally soft and overly sensitive. At work there a few grown men that cry because they have to work and actually have to do work.
El Pallasso Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Yup. There's nothing a woman hates more than a man who is soft and sensitive. Women are more attracted to men with an aura of mystery and who keep their emotions in check. The whole mantra about women being more emotional is an old wives' tale. The fact is that it is simply more socially acceptable for women to be emotional in many situations while a man exhibiting that same emotion will be frowned upon and scorned at. The women here will try to tell you different but don't be fooled.
El Pallasso Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Definitely this. Looks matter more than anything else. Much more. Looks will get you in the door but after a few times, if you're still a pathetic wuss, it will turn her off faster than you can turn off the light switch.
La.Primavera Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I am attracted to sensitive men. I also view them as masculine.
regine_phalange Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I like sensitive people in general. A man isnt less masculine if hes sensitive. But I think male sensitivity is a bit different than the girly one. I had a boyfriend whose eyes watered when I was crying because of some hard times, but he remained collected otherwise. That was perfect for me because he was empathetic but I could still hang on his shoulder for support. His eyes looked very beautiful all wet and softened.
Els Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Why on earth would you correlate watching Glee with being sensitive?! I don't even watch Glee, it's like High School Musical with some sex involved. :/ Anyway, there's 'good' sensitive and 'bad' sensitive IMO. 'Good' sensitive in my opinion is being able to empathize, to see what others need and to help them, to think about how your words and actions would affect other people. That is certainly an appreciated trait, and has absolutely nothing to do with Glee. 3
Stillits Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I think a sensitive man can be refreshing. That is, if he is not sensitive in the way that everything you say and do will offend him and make him cry. A man who is in touch with his emotions (in a healthy way) and is able to express them without fear of being perceived as a lesser man, is attractive. As long as it is not done in a whiny way. I would have to say it's a balancing thing. Maybe I also think this is attractive because I'm not necessarily too good at expressing emotions myself.
PrettyEmily77 Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Just like in that creepy thread, most of the women will hide the faxt that you can get away with anything if you're attractive. Sensitivity is one of those things. That creepy thread was so full of anecdotal bs. [sarcasm mode on] Obviously, a sensitive guy a turn-off for women, but only if he's not attractive. Anything but an attractive guy is a turn off for any woman because we're all the same, apparently. All handsome men are awesome because they are handsome, and all the rest are bottom of the list because they're not handsome. Examples: Handsome and over sensitive = excellent. Handsome and creepy = excellent. Handsome and pervert = excellent. Handsome and tight with money = excellent. Handsome and lazy = excellent. Handsome and unemployed = excellent. etc... [sarcasm mode off] Yawn. No, OP, sensitivity isn't a turn off for women in general. Some like a sensitive guy, and some don't. That will be true for about everything else in life. 1
Haydn Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I quite often howl like a baby over a good Romcom. Or frequently have to be accompanied to other rooms after a good horror. My BH (Better half, not betrayed husband) take`s it all in her stride. Obviously i am also hard as nails and not to be messed with. 2
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