vivi_angel89 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I've been dating this guy for a month now. Met him through a mutual friend. At the beginning, he seemed really interested in me. He kept texting me every day, asking me how my day was and then telling me about his day even though he has a very busy schedule (school and work full time). We went on 2 dates together and on the 3d date he invited me to play pool with his friends. We had a great convo and he told me he was looking for, I quote- "Love, happiness, fun, craziness". At the end of the night, he made a move on me when we were alone and I told him that I don't want to get physical with him yet. On our 4th date, he tried to make a move on me once again and I clearly told him that I'd like to take my time with him. He said it was fine but I'm sure it wasnt because after that, he barely texted me. After that, I was the one contacting him and asking him out. On our 5th and last "date", we were supposed to cook together but he changed the plans last minute, telling me its hs friend's goign away party and that i could join him for that instead, so I did. We hang out a bit just the 2 of us before the going away party and he hasent made a move on me at all. Then we were supposed to see eachother the next day, but he cancelled on me saying he had to work late and told me we will -I quote- "Let's see about next weekdays for sure " In the meantime, I texted him 2 days later asking him if he was ready for the marathon (he was about to leave the city for the weekend to run a 25k marathon). I sent that text on thursday last week and now it's wednesday and he hasent anwsered yet. SO my question is, what should I do? It's the first time ever that he doesnt reply to my text. Sometimes, he would anwser the next day. Did he forget to reply or he just lost interest in me and is trying to fade away? We have one mutual friend so I would like to end it on good terms if he isnt interested in seeing me again. However, I dont want to chase him. Should I send a closure text or just let it go? If I chose not to text him, he will keep me hanging on and I'm afraid I wont be able to move on. By the way I am 25 years old and he is 37 so Id expect him to behave like a grown-up man.
Guitarisgood Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Hmm why do you need closure? It's simply your ego that's feeling hurt and you want the last laugh per say. He was chasing you and you wouldn't have a ball of it - 4th date and no reciprocation. As a guy that's the message across. He IS behaving like a grown up. He is moving on where he sees he is not wanted. He is not hanging you on. He is simply keeping in touch with you as a friend would. Now YOU behave like a grown up and move on and maybe he'll contact you down the track and you can go from there. 3
fred123 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 really? u must be new to dating? no guy who has been turned down twice will date you again. you will learn 1
Mrin Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Hmm why do you need closure? It's simply your ego that's feeling hurt and you want the last laugh per say. He was chasing you and you wouldn't have a ball of it - 4th date and no reciprocation. As a guy that's the message across. He IS behaving like a grown up. He is moving on where he sees he is not wanted. He is not hanging you on. He is simply keeping in touch with you as a friend would. Now YOU behave like a grown up and move on and maybe he'll contact you down the track and you can go from there. Totally this. Dude got stonewalled twice. Two strikes and your're out. Not sure why you're wondering because you very clearly sent a signal to him of rejection. Dude is so long gone.
phineas Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Men our age don't wait around on young girls that don't want to have sex. Period. Let's be real here. He's 37 and single and 99.9% just looking for fun from a 25 yr old. I don't know whats more surprising here. He lasted 4 dates or you can't understand why he blew you off. 1
aloneinaz Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Men our age don't wait around on young girls that don't want to have sex. Period. Let's be real here. He's 37 and single and 99.9% just looking for fun from a 25 yr old. I don't know whats more surprising here. He lasted 4 dates or you can't understand why he blew you off. This ^^ Sweetie, OMG, YOU need to grow up. Really? 4 dates and you feel compelled to send a "closure" text? Are you still in HS too? You're shocked he blew you off and are SURPRISED he hasn't replied to your text... LMAO.. Thanks for the great laugh today! 1
Author vivi_angel89 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 Well I did tell him my intentions on our 2d date and thought it was clear that I wanted to date him to see if we could be in a relationship one day... His ex of 5 years was also 10years younger and he told me age was just a number. I wasn't playing any games. I rejected sex because I didnt feel connected to him emotionally yet.
El Pallasso Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 You turned him down yet you expect him to stick around like a stupid dog. Take a good long look in the mirror and you'll see the person acting like a child...
fred123 Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 Girls just want to play with guys and have then as friends pfft . Guarantee when she meets a guy she likes she WILL kiss him by the second date and not give that guy some wishy washy excuse "i dont want sex so quickly bla bla bla". Girls know what they are doing. They know a guy is not going to stick around if a girl does that and now shes playing dumb!
Gaeta Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 We had a great convo and he told me he was looking for, I quote- "Love, happiness, fun, craziness". That is code talk for I live in the moment and I am not looking for a relationship. He was looking for some fun and he was ok with it lasting or not. You did not provide the fun he was expected so he cowardly moved along without a word of explanation. When people do that it's because they have very little respect for you to begin with. SO my question is, what should I do? You do nothing. He is not interested any longer and it's clear enough, you don't need him to confirm it to you. Should I send a closure text or just let it go? Closure is something you give yourself. You don't need him to confirm to you he's not interested anymore. Trust your instinct it will serve you well. Also with his latest behavior (fading away) you don't want someone like that in your life anyway right? Lets say you text him and he says he's just been busy, will you really believe that? No, I hope. Don't let people drag you along, cut them off when they don't treat you as well as you deserve. By the way I am 25 years old and he is 37 so Id expect him to behave like a grown-up man. I come across men in their 50s who select to do a fade-away instead of saying 'sorry I'm not feeling it and I am moving along'. That's why you don't wait on anyone to confirm you still have a thing together. The only fact he treated you like this is enough for you to terminate the relationship yourself in your heart and in your head and you move along. I'm sorry it happened to you. It sucks big time I know. As for your common friend you don't owe them an explanation. If they ask just tell them he gave you a fade away with no explanation. Don't say more.
La.Primavera Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 If you don't want to get physical with a guy after a few dates that is absolutely fine but as you can see by the male responses, not every guy is going to want to wait. They will consider you a tease and move on to an easier conquest. Clearly this guy felt that way. He probably felt confused and frustrated as to how to proceed with you which explains the reduction in texts. He gave it a few more dates but ultimately lost interest. It's better to find out that you have incompatible values early on. If he wasn't willing to accommodate your feelings then he wasn't interested in anything too serious. I would suggest moving on without texting him because I think it will make it harder if he doesn't respond but you have to do what feels right for you.
Redhead14 Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I've been dating this guy for a month now. Met him through a mutual friend. At the beginning, he seemed really interested in me. He kept texting me every day, asking me how my day was and then telling me about his day even though he has a very busy schedule (school and work full time). We went on 2 dates together and on the 3d date he invited me to play pool with his friends. We had a great convo and he told me he was looking for, I quote- "Love, happiness, fun, craziness". At the end of the night, he made a move on me when we were alone and I told him that I don't want to get physical with him yet. On our 4th date, he tried to make a move on me once again and I clearly told him that I'd like to take my time with him. He said it was fine but I'm sure it wasnt because after that, he barely texted me. After that, I was the one contacting him and asking him out. On our 5th and last "date", we were supposed to cook together but he changed the plans last minute, telling me its hs friend's goign away party and that i could join him for that instead, so I did. We hang out a bit just the 2 of us before the going away party and he hasent made a move on me at all. Then we were supposed to see eachother the next day, but he cancelled on me saying he had to work late and told me we will -I quote- "Let's see about next weekdays for sure " In the meantime, I texted him 2 days later asking him if he was ready for the marathon (he was about to leave the city for the weekend to run a 25k marathon). I sent that text on thursday last week and now it's wednesday and he hasent anwsered yet. SO my question is, what should I do? It's the first time ever that he doesnt reply to my text. Sometimes, he would anwser the next day. Did he forget to reply or he just lost interest in me and is trying to fade away? We have one mutual friend so I would like to end it on good terms if he isnt interested in seeing me again. However, I dont want to chase him. Should I send a closure text or just let it go? If I chose not to text him, he will keep me hanging on and I'm afraid I wont be able to move on. By the way I am 25 years old and he is 37 so Id expect him to behave like a grown-up man. Closure for what? You aren't in a relationship with him. Sending a closure text is chasing him. You're only doing it to see if he will come running because he really wants you. he will keep me hanging on -- he won't be doing that, you will be doing that yourself. Just because he doesn't answer your text doesn't mean he's not a grown up man. He doesn't owe you anything at this point. Leave it alone. If he stopped seeing you because you wouldn't be intimate, so be it. He was likely only in it for that anyway.
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