malinda Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 hey all, wonder if u guys can help. I met this guy in October last year and we met and we both felt an instant connection like love at first sight. But, we both had holidays planned (i was going to new york and he was going to egypt). anyway we had like four dates and we slept together on the second. we didnt make it exclusive but we were so excited about eachother. we went away 2 weeks after we met. when we were away we kept in touch through emails, and have been together since. But a month later after we came back to UK I did find condoms in his luggage and he just said they werent his. and found pictures of a couple of women he met there in egypt. more like 'hi how are u' with xx on the end. he just said he didnt sleep with them but he sure flirted. then just last night his phone beeped and i checked it and i saw messages from another woman he had met in egypt and she was asking why he was not keeping in touch and that she thought they had made great friends. she made a comment that annoyed me, and that was ' if you were looking for a holiday romance then I told you it wasnt me'. then went on to say 'if ur back with youre ex thats fine just let me know either way'. this made me think that he was trying to pursue her somehow and she made it clear it that it wasnt her thing. i feel hurt. i know it was early days and we werent officially a couple but i feel betrayel. Hes a nice guy, polite nature, i love him and he says he loved me the minute he met me but i feel disappointed.
Redhead14 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 hey all, wonder if u guys can help. I met this guy in October last year and we met and we both felt an instant connection like love at first sight. But, we both had holidays planned (i was going to new york and he was going to egypt). anyway we had like four dates and we slept together on the second. we didnt make it exclusive but we were so excited about eachother. we went away 2 weeks after we met. when we were away we kept in touch through emails, and have been together since. But a month later after we came back to UK I did find condoms in his luggage and he just said they werent his. and found pictures of a couple of women he met there in egypt. more like 'hi how are u' with xx on the end. he just said he didnt sleep with them but he sure flirted. then just last night his phone beeped and i checked it and i saw messages from another woman he had met in egypt and she was asking why he was not keeping in touch and that she thought they had made great friends. she made a comment that annoyed me, and that was ' if you were looking for a holiday romance then I told you it wasnt me'. then went on to say 'if ur back with youre ex thats fine just let me know either way'. this made me think that he was trying to pursue her somehow and she made it clear it that it wasnt her thing. i feel hurt. i know it was early days and we werent officially a couple but i feel betrayel. Hes a nice guy, polite nature, i love him and he says he loved me the minute he met me but i feel disappointed. we werent officially a couple -- A man who tells you he loves you the minute he meets you, doesn't mean he loves you. It just means he will string you along with all the other women he loves the minute he meets them. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Are you a couple now? It's not clear from your post whether you're now exclusive or not. I understand you being disappointed, but you gave to remember you were both free to do what you wanted. I wouldn't really believe the condoms weren't his, though. More likely he felt put on the spot and didn't want to upset you. This other women messaging him clearly had more than a friendship with him. Otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned his ex. I imagine they had some type of fling and he led her to believe they would continue it beyond the holiday. Him saying he loved you so soon after meeting is also a red flag. A lot of guys will say this to hook you. Be careful from here.
Gaeta Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Those holidays you're talking about are they December holidays? So you had only 4 dates from October to December?
Gaeta Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Where did he tell her he loved her? She said it was like love at first site that doesn't mean he said he loved her.
Satu Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Lots of little lies add up to one big stinking lie eventually. I wouldn't throw him out of the airlock just yet, but I would proceed with caution.
Author malinda Posted May 20, 2015 Author Posted May 20, 2015 Are you a couple now? It's not clear from your post whether you're now exclusive or not. I understand you being disappointed, but you gave to remember you were both free to do what you wanted. I wouldn't really believe the condoms weren't his, though. More likely he felt put on the spot and didn't want to upset you. This other women messaging him clearly had more than a friendship with him. Otherwise she wouldn't have mentioned his ex. I imagine they had some type of fling and he led her to believe they would continue it beyond the holiday. Him saying he loved you so soon after meeting is also a red flag. A lot of guys will say this to hook you. Be careful from here. hi, yes we have been officially dating since we came back we were gone for 4 weeks beginning of last november. so our four dates were all end of october. just wish he was honest about his holiday. I feel we are serious. he has introduced me to his 9 year old daughter from previous relationship and we have moved in together. i dont know what to make of this woman. He seems to have been ignoring her messages to keep intouch as friends. i dont think ahe wants him romantically but i think her comment 'if it was a holiday romance you were looking for then i already told you its not me' ....is bugging me. Also her asking if hes back with his ex makes me think he was saying hes single and never mentioned meeting me at all. sorry to go on but i feel so hurt i dont want to see his face at the moment
Gaeta Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 hi, yes we have been officially dating since we came back we were gone for 4 weeks beginning of last november. so our four dates were all end of october. He was free to do as he wish. He's a man, single, no official relationship, he comes across some hot chick on vacations, you really think any man would turn her down? just wish he was honest about his holiday. He didn't have to tell you anything you were not a couple. No one in their right mind would come back from vacation and tell someone they want to see again 'by the way I had a hook up on vacation'. j I feel we are serious. he has introduced me to his 9 year old daughter from previous relationship and we have moved in together. When did you move together? don't you think it's a little rushed? he's practically a stranger and now you're discovering it. i dont know what to make of this woman. He seems to have been ignoring her messages to keep intouch as friends. i dont think ahe wants him romantically but i think her comment 'if it was a holiday romance you were looking for then i already told you its not me' ....is bugging me. Also her asking if hes back with his ex makes me think he was saying hes single and never mentioned meeting me at all. Make nothing of her. She is not your concern. Your concern is the man you chose to move in with without really knowing him. NOW you are discovering that he's sneaky. He lied to this woman to get it on with her. He said he was single because HE WAS single. You have to see this for what it was. You had 4 dates, sex on 2nd date. He was still a stranger. Yes you had great attraction but you were not a couple and he owed you no fidelity or explanation. Technically he did nothing wrong BUT the way he lied to this woman to get it on with her speaks volume on his poor character. 1
ExpatInItaly Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 hi, yes we have been officially dating since we came back we were gone for 4 weeks beginning of last november. so our four dates were all end of october. just wish he was honest about his holiday. I feel we are serious. he has introduced me to his 9 year old daughter from previous relationship and we have moved in together. i dont know what to make of this woman. He seems to have been ignoring her messages to keep intouch as friends. i dont think ahe wants him romantically but i think her comment 'if it was a holiday romance you were looking for then i already told you its not me' ....is bugging me. Also her asking if hes back with his ex makes me think he was saying hes single and never mentioned meeting me at all. sorry to go on but i feel so hurt i dont want to see his face at the moment If I may ask, why did you move in so quickly? Also, why did you read his messages? Do you already have some reason to feel he can't be trusted, or..? As the others suggested, he was single on this holiday. You'd only just started seeing him so I wouldn't be too concerned that he didn't mention you to this other woman. I get why it isn't fun to hear about, but you weren't a couple at that point.
GemmaUK Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 If it were me I wouldn't have any issues over his holiday as you weren't together. I wouldn't have moved in with a man I didn't know so fast though.
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