casey.lives Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 it was playful, it was familiar, it was vulnerable (drunk state) and it was short and sweet. It was the PERFECT opening.
Twigyy Posted April 23, 2015 Posted April 23, 2015 So you said that you don't want to come off as needy.. You used NC to get her to send you a couple of texts. She said that she was drunk and you say that she is missing you? From what I see you don't have a chance of getting your ex back. You're using NC to manipulate her, and probably more of your childish games. You're still clinging onto the hope that she will come back. Please take some time to think about stuff. You'll continue to hurt both of you if you keep doing stuff like this.. Keep posting and good luck. 2
LeaveMeAlone Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 I stopped contacting her completely as of Saturday night and began the NC rule. Well last night Wednesday she blew my phone up with 6 texts saying she missed me and she shouldn't have said that then bye. I didn't respond until the morning I asked her if she was OK and we had a brief conversation that went like ... HA! You know what? This is a perfect example of a guy who is part of 90% of the male population - you have no clue what you're doing. This is a heads up: When she contacts you, you need to assume she's interested again - that's the first step. When she contacts you, you just need to say something like "Hey it's great to hear from you, how about you bring a bottle over and we can cook dinner together". She wants you to do this, she WANTS you to take the lead. People on here are undoubtedly going to say "If your ex wants you back, she'll tell you" ... BULL****. No girl is going to text her ex she dumped saying "Hey, I'm sorry I made a mistake, I want you back ... lets meet up at 8pm so we can have a coffee and then we can **** because we haven't in 2 months / 2 weeks / whatever" People who tell you that are CLUELESS. See, you're a MAN (at least I think you are), YOU'VE GOT THE PENIS ... and you've got to show her that. If an ex reaches out in any form ... she's going to "orbit" around you ... she's going to drop casual hints. It's your responsibility if you want to get her back. Anyway: TL;DR ASK HER OUT ... tell her "It's lovely to hear from you, why don't you bring a bottle over and we can cook a meal together". Easy.
LeaveMeAlone Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 So you said that you don't want to come off as needy.. You used NC to get her to send you a couple of texts. She said that she was drunk and you say that she is missing you? From what I see you don't have a chance of getting your ex back. You're using NC to manipulate her, and probably more of your childish games. You're still clinging onto the hope that she will come back. Please take some time to think about stuff. You'll continue to hurt both of you if you keep doing stuff like this.. Keep posting and good luck. More often than not being in a drunk state makes you do things that lie deep in your being. Ever been drunk and kissed a girl you previously thought you didn't have the hots for ... well your subconscious comes out at that point - chances are you're attracted to her. Same thing with exes ... if she didn't want ANYTHING to do with him, she would have ****ed right off to the next guy - she would would've disappeared completely. Girls are going to "orbit" the men they like (and the exes they still hold a flame for) ... they will NEVER go out of their way to say "I made an awful mistake, please take me back and let's ****" (any idiot that thinks that is a chump). They don't want to be explicit about what they want in fear of REJECTION. Chances are his ex is doing just that.
Author chillwaveguy Posted April 24, 2015 Author Posted April 24, 2015 (edited) Alright my ex girlfriend broke up with me last week. I started NC. We still follow each other on twitter and FB and she was dropping hints like liking my photo, and tweeting stuff. One night she txted me 6 times in a row (while drunk) saying "i miss you" "sorry" "I'm a whitle drunk" "Prob shouldn't say that""I'm sorry" "bye."I didn't respond that night but in the morning I did Me-"Are you okay?" Her-"Yeah I'm okay Sorry I was just a little drunk last night" Her-"Thanks for asking though" Me-"No problem" Her-"How have you been?" Me-"busy you" her--"same. just workin all the time now" Me-"I see youve been thinkin about me lately weirdo lol" her--"Why do you think that? lol" her-"oh cause of my text last night? My bad" Me-"Yeah you were bein weird lol and cuz I just know" her-"Well I was drunk.And don't act like you haven't been thinkin about me lol" her-"anyways, sorry bout that I'll ttyl" me-"eh maybe just a little but alright cya" then I said me-"that was stupid of me to say and it's not how I feel. If you miss me its cool, you don't need to hide it of feel bad about it." her-"idk what to say to that.. :/" her-"I do feel bad for saying it bc I shouldn't. We said our goodbye and that's how it should be right now" me-"I just wanted to apologize for being sarcastic is all." her--"that's okay I wasn't offended Take care." I didn't respond after that. Did she want me to take things and move forward? Did I say to much and hurt my chances? Edited April 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for format, noted the new information that was left out previously.
AIJ Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 No contact. Block her. No, she didn't want you to take it and move forward with it. Simple as really When I say block her, I mean BLOCK her. Everywhere. Anywhere you can think of. You don't want any more breadcrumbs. The relationship was broken, she didn't want to fight for it, end of. Don't hurt yourself even more.
Twigyy Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 After your previous post you still don't get it. You are one needy **** with no self respect. Face palm.
darkbloom Posted April 24, 2015 Posted April 24, 2015 You have not been practicing no contact. Social media is not part of Nc.
Author chillwaveguy Posted April 25, 2015 Author Posted April 25, 2015 (edited) Alright so my girlfriend and I have been dating for 10 months kind of off and on but still pretty serious. Recently I got insecure and accused her of having feelings for another guy she works with. The first time she just got mad and disappointed and told me no. The second and third time (idk I couldn’t help it) she got very upset and she was balling on the phone telling me she didn’t know if she wanted to be with me. Well I tried reaching out to her the next day and she resisted so I gave her space for about two days at which point I sent her an apology. She replied with this: "I really appreciate that you took the time to apologize to me. It means more than you know. I really hate that things had to end this way between us but it's just how it has to be right now. I don't think you're a monster at all.. But I think that your fear of getting hurt was ultimately our downfall... I would have never hurt you. A part of me was so happy when you said you loved me and be the right man for me, but it was horrible timing.. I wanted to spend my life with you, have your kids, come home to you everyday. Then, I spent a week trying to fall out of love with you and it made me sick to my stomach how much I hated the thought of losing you. But then I picked myself up and reminded myself that love sucks sometimes and there's nothing I could do about it. A part of me will always love you, always. And I hope you never forget that you will always hold a space in my heart. If we're meant to be, we'll find a way back to each other. But for now, we're just better off apart. I honestly wish nothing but the best for you..and I mean that.” I didn’t reply and let things be since I thought at least some of it was a bit cheesy. We are still friends and follow each other on twitter and I couldn’t help but notice she was liking my posts and photos and also tweeting some very deep stuff about missing me. Finally about 3 days after the break up she messaged me one night with 6 messages in a row saying "i miss you," “sorry," "I'm a whittle drunk," "Prob shouldn't say that," "I'm sorry," "bye." I didn’t respond until the next morning and the conversation went like this: Me-"Are you okay?” Her-"Yeah I'm okay Sorry I was just a little drunk last night” Her-"Thanks for asking though” Me-“No problem" Her-"How have you been?” Me-"busy you” Her--“same. just workin all the time now” Me-"I see youve been thinking about me lately weirdo lol” Her--"Why do you think that? lol” Her-“oh cause of my text last night? My bad” Me-"Yeah you were vein weird lol and cuz I just know” Her-"Well I was drunk.And don't act like you haven't been thinkin about me lol” (she responded 10 minutes later with) Her-"anyways, sorry bout that I'll ttyl” Me-"eh maybe just a little but alright cya” then I said a few hours later... Me-"that was stupid of me to say and it's not how I feel. If you miss me its cool, you don't need to hide it or feel bad about it." Her-"idk what to say to that.. :/“ Her-"I do feel bad for saying it bc I shouldn't. We said our goodbye and that's how it should be right now” Me-"I just wanted to apologize for being sarcastic is all." Her--"that's okay I wasn't offended Take care.” I didn't respond after that but she continues to like my posts on Facebook and give me subtle hints. I couldn’t help but think she was dropping hints in our brief conversation that she wanted me to say something meaningful. My question to you all is in your guys experience do you think I should have stepped in and made a move like asking her to hangout? Did I actually say too much and hurt my chances? Should I continue with the NC rule (which I understand I slightly broke)? If she does text me again should I ignore that? Edited April 26, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Edited for formatting and removed personal names.
AIJ Posted April 25, 2015 Posted April 25, 2015 HA! You know what? This is a perfect example of a guy who is part of 90% of the male population - you have no clue what you're doing. This is a heads up: When she contacts you, you need to assume she's interested again - that's the first step. When she contacts you, you just need to say something like "Hey it's great to hear from you, how about you bring a bottle over and we can cook dinner together". She wants you to do this, she WANTS you to take the lead. People on here are undoubtedly going to say "If your ex wants you back, she'll tell you" ... BULL****. No girl is going to text her ex she dumped saying "Hey, I'm sorry I made a mistake, I want you back ... lets meet up at 8pm so we can have a coffee and then we can **** because we haven't in 2 months / 2 weeks / whatever" People who tell you that are CLUELESS. See, you're a MAN (at least I think you are), YOU'VE GOT THE PENIS ... and you've got to show her that. If an ex reaches out in any form ... she's going to "orbit" around you ... she's going to drop casual hints. It's your responsibility if you want to get her back. Anyway: TL;DR ASK HER OUT ... tell her "It's lovely to hear from you, why don't you bring a bottle over and we can cook a meal together". Easy. Someone's been watching a few too many Corey Wayne videos... 2
dave_1966 Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 HA! You know what? This is a perfect example of a guy who is part of 90% of the male population - you have no clue what you're doing. This is a heads up: When she contacts you, you need to assume she's interested again - that's the first step. When she contacts you, you just need to say something like "Hey it's great to hear from you, how about you bring a bottle over and we can cook dinner together". She wants you to do this, she WANTS you to take the lead. People on here are undoubtedly going to say "If your ex wants you back, she'll tell you" ... BULL****. No girl is going to text her ex she dumped saying "Hey, I'm sorry I made a mistake, I want you back ... lets meet up at 8pm so we can have a coffee and then we can **** because we haven't in 2 months / 2 weeks / whatever" People who tell you that are CLUELESS. See, you're a MAN (at least I think you are), YOU'VE GOT THE PENIS ... and you've got to show her that. If an ex reaches out in any form ... she's going to "orbit" around you ... she's going to drop casual hints. It's your responsibility if you want to get her back. Anyway: TL;DR ASK HER OUT ... tell her "It's lovely to hear from you, why don't you bring a bottle over and we can cook a meal together". Easy. That's word for word Corey Wayne on YouTube.
sober and dry Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Man she said it all sorry in one line... We said our goodbye and that's how it should be right now At least respect her choice, learn all you can and move on. Besides if you want to do NC you know what you should/shouldn't have done. You need the two above to either earn her back or heal from it, so it's truly the only way. Until you don't do that you are just making it harder for you and even harder to get her back. I say it because I did/do.
Robert Posted April 26, 2015 Posted April 26, 2015 Moderation note - The OP's threads have been merged and the duplication left so that members can evaluate the bigger picture and offer more informed advice. Please adhere to the community guidelines in future posts. Thank you. ~ V
Author chillwaveguy Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 So my ex girlfriend broke up with me. Basically I committed one of the sins in a relationship and got jealous. I accused her on multiple occasions of having feelings for a guy at work. She let them slide at first but then it lead to where we are now. We broke up on decent terms and I went straight into no contact. Within a few days she messaged me while she was drunk saying she missed me. Then again a few days later asking me if I wanted to be friends. I didn't talk to her much or leave much on the table besides telling her we couldn't be friends. So I continued to do my thing and she continued to leave bread crumbs by liking my statuses and photos on facebook. Well one day I made a post jokingly suggesting that I should man up and talk to this girl in my class. She took it the wrong way and began to over think everything. She messaged me saying "Yeah, you are being removed from my facebook you ****ing douche bag." I didn't respond because I was a little taken aback. She blew my phone up that night saying "I can't believe you posted that status on Facebook." "Like is there really someone that you've wanted to talk to for so long that you would post a status about?" "That's a really ****ty thing to do." "You tell me that you love me and then you post a status like that?" "You were clearly never serious when you told me that." "Means a ****ing lot." I didn't respond to any of this because I didn't know what to say. She sent me a few snap chats after that to see if I was even reading the texts. Finally she texted me the next morning and said "I was drunk. But don't worry, you'll never hear from me again." Did I just make everything worse by not responding? How can I fix this? Do any of you think there is still a chance with her?
CarrieT Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 Be glad if she is really going to stop contacting you. She is a drama queen who can't control her alcohol intake. This is not a relationship that should be continued and you are better off without her.
Author chillwaveguy Posted May 4, 2015 Author Posted May 4, 2015 Hahaha maybe you're right but I'd rather learn it the hard way I guess. You still never answered the question I guess; do you think this is a good sign that she still gets jealous or angry? Or did I unintentionally make things worse?
RocketQueen Posted May 4, 2015 Posted May 4, 2015 So, were your fears confirmed, did she have feelings for this other guy? If she did have feelings for another guy her jealousy doesn't really matter, as she had already crossed a line. If she didn't have feelings for the other guy and it was your own jealousy and insecurity that caused this relationship I would say her jealousy isn't a good sign- it might mean she still has feelings for you (which her reaching out to you, drunk or not would show) but I think after being accused of having feelings and then seeing your status she would feel like it was a bit of a kick in the teeth.
Author chillwaveguy Posted May 20, 2015 Author Posted May 20, 2015 So my ex girlfriend and I had been together for 10 months. She broke up with me about 3 weeks ago over an argument that got out of hand. We recently opened the lines of communication and it has been going pretty well. We have sat on the phone before for several hours and we talk about anything. Last night though when the conversation got to my friends it went south very very fast. She immediately got bitter and told me she was going to bed. I told her that's fine, and she told me she was annoyed. I told her alright? Bye? And she hung up. This was all without warning. Then I got two text messages from her saying, "Your friends also helped in the downfall of our relationship just so you know. I'm not over everything and I don't wanna talk to you anymore. Like, ever. I'm just gonna block you. Idk why I thought talking to you would be okay." I tried calling her back a few times but she didn't answer and I just left her a message that said "It's cool.." I don't understand what happened? What should I do? Should I wait for her to text me back or should I man up and do some talking?
Lizrd3000 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) She tried to justify her actions by making you look like the monster. I don't think you did anything wrong really, and I think she just tried to make you look like the monster to ease her guilt, or make her feel like she made the right decision breaking up with you, by acting as if something was wrong, make herself believe her delusion, and hoping you'd appologize for it, to make her believe she really was right. I'm happy you didn't appologize to her. She sounds really immature, and you deserve a girl who's better than this. You should've stayed NC man. Don't fall for this **** again in the future. My ex pulled this **** on me too, but I appologized, and it made her even worse towards me. I learned alot from that situation. This situation is very similair to what I had. Please believe what I'm saying and keep NC. Refrain in believing what she's saying is right, believe yourself. You did nothing wrong, man. Edited May 20, 2015 by Lizrd3000
Ruby65 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I don't understand what happened? What should I do? Should I wait for her to text me back or should I man up and do some talking? So she's decided to kick you out of the Friend Zone? Good. You honestly shouldn't have been there anyway. It wasn't helping you heal, it wasn't helping you accept the breakup, and it wasn't helping you reconcile. All you were doing was holding her hand.... while she looks for her next boyfriend. Maybe now she can see what life is like without you in it.
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