mrs rubble Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I have a supply of condoms in the bathroom cupboard for either of my sons (or their friends) to use...the other day the cupboard was ajar, the condom box open and one missing....but would you believe NOBODY knows how that happened!! Whoever has been at your BF's too!
Ninjainpajamas Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 It sounds to me like you caught the guy kind of "hot handed"...you don't have that absolute proof but c'mon, what are the chances? I think you're lucky enough sometimes to have little clues or warning signs in life dropped on you...I mean, what are the chances of this coincidence? I think you doing the whole "benefit of the doubt" thing is very typical and how people typically end up being hurt in the end at looking back they say "damn, I should've paid more attention to that...the clues/signs were there, the feeling in my gut was telling me something wasn't right" But like most women, you continue on anyway...just realize when you make your bed, you gotta sleep in it. The guys not consistent and his behavior is telling, if you need to be punched in the face with proof then you just don't know how to learn before something happens. 1
Author JaneyJ1991 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 It sounds to me like you caught the guy kind of "hot handed"...you don't have that absolute proof but c'mon, what are the chances? I think you're lucky enough sometimes to have little clues or warning signs in life dropped on you...I mean, what are the chances of this coincidence? I think you doing the whole "benefit of the doubt" thing is very typical and how people typically end up being hurt in the end at looking back they say "damn, I should've paid more attention to that...the clues/signs were there, the feeling in my gut was telling me something wasn't right" But like most women, you continue on anyway...just realize when you make your bed, you gotta sleep in it. The guys not consistent and his behavior is telling, if you need to be punched in the face with proof then you just don't know how to learn before something happens. Please don't make me more conflicted than I already am. I smiled this morning and said I was going to try to put this behind me. But that's me nearly telling a lie--I'm not fine. I'm not totally believing. A sleeping giant has been woken. I've never gone through his stuff. Never snooped. Never thought to look when he has his phone out to spy on who he's texting. Never dropped by to pick up something I'd left when he wasn't expecting me. But suddenly, the radar is on and all of that changes. I also just realized--I've been looking for my sunglasses (which were cheap, but I've had them since August and I love them), all day, and I suddenly realize where they were. In the condom fiasco discovery last night..I left them sitting on his dresser. But he hasn't mentioned them. They're hot pink--pretty clearly female. If he's not seeing/entertaining multiple females in his room..It should be a shoe in those are mine. So why has he said nothing?
losangelena Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 You probably don't want to hear what NP has to say, but I think it would behoove you to listen, OP. Surely, you know this man better than we do, but something has been pricked inside you. Whether it's intuition or paranoia remains to be seen, but your emotions are stirring for a reason, and I would not ignore your feelings outright in some feeble attempt to shove your feelings aside and "move on from this." Listen to yourself, listen to what you're thinking. I almost don't think the condom thing matters so much in the long run, but just for the fact that your feelings for him, however slightly, have changed. You're on high alert, and probably will be for quite some time. And even though he might be telling the truth about the condom wrapper, he's letting other info leak out one drop at a time—like his ONS turning into a several night stand, for instance. Like I said before, you're not even officially in a relationship with him yet and you're already suspicious. Don't get started on this foot; it won't get better.
Author JaneyJ1991 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 You probably don't want to hear what NP has to say, but I think it would behoove you to listen, OP. Surely, you know this man better than we do, but something has been pricked inside you. Whether it's intuition or paranoia remains to be seen, but your emotions are stirring for a reason, and I would not ignore your feelings outright in some feeble attempt to shove your feelings aside and "move on from this." Listen to yourself, listen to what you're thinking. I almost don't think the condom thing matters so much in the long run, but just for the fact that your feelings for him, however slightly, have changed. You're on high alert, and probably will be for quite some time. And even though he might be telling the truth about the condom wrapper, he's letting other info leak out one drop at a time—like his ONS turning into a several night stand, for instance. Like I said before, you're not even officially in a relationship with him yet and you're already suspicious. Don't get started on this foot; it won't get better. I knew the ONS was really a 3-4 night thing from the beginning. In my ignorance i didn't know what to call it, so I label it a ONS, because it started on Friday night and was done by WEDNESDAY. He announced to me at coffee yeste day at coffee that he quote "Really liked the girl" and the only reason he didn't continue seeing her is she ended things (she got back with an ex). Note to all guys reading thus: THESE ARE GREAT THINGS TO TELL THE GIRL YOURE SEEING. Way to make me feel like second choice! I've schemed up a number of crazy scenarios in the night. I'm wondering if he told me a partial truth--maybe the chick broke up with her ex recently and they've been hooking up again. He was super sketch with me on Friday and Saturday--i attributed it to him getting his test results and processing. Now I'm not so sure. He never responded to my last text last night. Never texted me goodnight or anything when he got off work. Also..no word on my sunglasses. Which are right there.
katiegrl Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 (edited) I would have really appreciated it if a guy had said that to me! Why? Knowledge is power and the more knowledge/info I have, the better able I am to ascertain if the guy is right for me or not. He essentially admitted you were second choice. So now YOU have a choice. Do you stay with a guy to whom you were second choice? Or do you walk away and look for a guy to whom you are FIRST choice? Edited May 22, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator removed personal poke
kendahke Posted May 21, 2015 Posted May 21, 2015 I knew the ONS was really a 3-4 night thing from the beginning. In my ignorance i didn't know what to call it, so I label it a ONS, because it started on Friday night and was done by WEDNESDAY. He announced to me at coffee yeste day at coffee that he quote "Really liked the girl" and the only reason he didn't continue seeing her is she ended things (she got back with an ex). Note to all guys reading thus: THESE ARE GREAT THINGS TO TELL THE GIRL YOURE SEEING. Way to make me feel like second choice! I've schemed up a number of crazy scenarios in the night. I'm wondering if he told me a partial truth--maybe the chick broke up with her ex recently and they've been hooking up again. He was super sketch with me on Friday and Saturday--i attributed it to him getting his test results and processing. Now I'm not so sure. He never responded to my last text last night. Never texted me goodnight or anything when he got off work. Also..no word on my sunglasses. Which are right there. If your sunglasses have not put him in remembrance of you, then I would say that your interest in him is greater than his interest in you. Sounds more to me like he's marking time with you until that other chick drops her ex--could be why he's not really pressed for seeing you. Keep him as a platonic friend, since you're not having sex with him, and keep looking for someone else who isn't still hung up on "the one who got away".
Author JaneyJ1991 Posted May 21, 2015 Author Posted May 21, 2015 If your sunglasses have not put him in remembrance of you, then I would say that your interest in him is greater than his interest in you. Sounds more to me like he's marking time with you until that other chick drops her ex--could be why he's not really pressed for seeing you. Keep him as a platonic friend, since you're not having sex with him, and keep looking for someone else who isn't still hung up on "the one who got away". Pretty much what im wondering. But he always was texting me, setting up our second date, WHILE he was into this girl. We went on our first date THURSDAY, he texted me Friday afternoon to set up a second date, he met and slept with her friday night, texted me SATURDAY to set up a place for a date, slept with her again sat night (at his house--allegedly where the condom came from), texted me again MONDAY, asked if I wanted to go snowboarding in ADDITION to our other date, slept with her again on Tuesday, then texted me WEDNESDAY night to ask if I wanted to go out. When I said no WEDNESDAY night, he went home, got into bed, and was dozing off when she texted him inviting me over to her place. And that was the last time. So if he was indeed super into her, what was he even doing setting up dates with me? NOTE: something that might be irrelevant..Pretty much all of our dates lately, in the last couple weeks, have been "hey do you want to come over and watch a movie". He invited me to do something OUTSIDE of the house last week, and he asked me to meet his family a couple weekends ago. But aside from that, it's mostly been "oh hey wanna come over" Not that there's anythig wrong with that..but it makes me feel odd. I could be imagining that though.
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