maddiewilson Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I've been friends with this guy I met at college for about a year now. He's a graduate student, 29, and I'm a 19 year old undergrad. He's incredibly caring and kind. We see each other at the gym several days a week, which was where we met. About a month ago, we made plans to hang out, and ended up hooking up, just making out, touching, etc. He continued to text me and talk to me after this, but did not make plans to see me again. So I decided to take the initiative, and asked if he wanted to hang out again. He said yes, and we ended up having sex. That was my first time, and he was aware of it. After it happened, he would text me and ask how I'm doing and stuff but still would not try to see me again, except for at the gym. So a week later I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and that I would bring a type of food that he really likes. I wanted to do this because both times we hooked up, I would sleep over and he would make me breakfast, so I wanted to return the favor. On the night we were supposed to have dinner, I texted him asking what time, and he replied with, "Thanks so much for thinking of me and the food, you can drop by my place to drop it off, but I won't be able to hang out because I'm really busy with writing" That really shocked and hurt me, because I felt so unimportant to him. I get he's busy, but asking me to bring him food without him wanting to spend time with me was so hurtful. What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels about me?
oldshirt Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I've been friends with this guy I met at college for about a year now. He's a graduate student, 29, and I'm a 19 year old undergrad. He's incredibly caring and kind. We see each other at the gym several days a week, which was where we met. About a month ago, we made plans to hang out, and ended up hooking up, just making out, touching, etc. He continued to text me and talk to me after this, but did not make plans to see me again. So I decided to take the initiative, and asked if he wanted to hang out again. He said yes, and we ended up having sex. That was my first time, and he was aware of it. After it happened, he would text me and ask how I'm doing and stuff but still would not try to see me again, except for at the gym. So a week later I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and that I would bring a type of food that he really likes. I wanted to do this because both times we hooked up, I would sleep over and he would make me breakfast, so I wanted to return the favor. On the night we were supposed to have dinner, I texted him asking what time, and he replied with, "Thanks so much for thinking of me and the food, you can drop by my place to drop it off, but I won't be able to hang out because I'm really busy with writing" That really shocked and hurt me, because I felt so unimportant to him. I get he's busy, but asking me to bring him food without him wanting to spend time with me was so hurtful. What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels about me? I'm afraid you are just a booty call. In this instance he wasn't able to have sex for whatever reason (he's going to be with his girlfriend perhaps?) so couldn't be bothered to see you. But that he told you to drop the food off is just plain boarish. No need to waste your breath asking how he feels about you. he has told you that loud and clear - Booty call! I am sorry this has happened to you. 4
Mrin Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Yeah - there is nothing there. I'm sorry OP. There is no reason to ever contact this man again. Sadly, you mean very little to him and he's too big of a douche to come out and say it. 3
todreaminblue Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 It was pretty thoughtless of him have you asked him directly if that si all you are to him...i have found when you take the direct approach and tell them look its ok either way........and be blunt...they answer truthfully....deb 2
Satu Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) Next time, establish a man's worthiness and suitability, before you go very far with him. Superficial charm is no guarantee of good character. Even the worst people know how to be 'nice,' when it suits their purposes. Treat what happened as a learning experience. We all have them. Edited May 20, 2015 by Satu
lovefirst777 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I've been friends with this guy I met at college for about a year now. He's a graduate student, 29, and I'm a 19 year old undergrad. He's incredibly caring and kind. We see each other at the gym several days a week, which was where we met. About a month ago, we made plans to hang out, and ended up hooking up, just making out, touching, etc. He continued to text me and talk to me after this, but did not make plans to see me again. So I decided to take the initiative, and asked if he wanted to hang out again. He said yes, and we ended up having sex. That was my first time, and he was aware of it. After it happened, he would text me and ask how I'm doing and stuff but still would not try to see me again, except for at the gym. So a week later I asked if he wanted to have dinner, and that I would bring a type of food that he really likes. I wanted to do this because both times we hooked up, I would sleep over and he would make me breakfast, so I wanted to return the favor. On the night we were supposed to have dinner, I texted him asking what time, and he replied with, "Thanks so much for thinking of me and the food, you can drop by my place to drop it off, but I won't be able to hang out because I'm really busy with writing" That really shocked and hurt me, because I felt so unimportant to him. I get he's busy, but asking me to bring him food without him wanting to spend time with me was so hurtful. What should I do? Should I ask him how he feels about me? I suggest you just forget about him and move on with your own life and just be happy. You definitely meant for something better than this guy. Not all guys but some guys have tendency that they do not know how to say it is not match be straightforward with it. Not all woman but some woman understand and know man is not a match and move on gracefully. 2
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