TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Hi everyone, Usually for me at this time of the day is when I tend to start a roller coaster of emotions regarding the breakup and such. For those of you going through that at the moment, feel free to share on here. NC is hard, but keep going! If you're tempted to contact your ex, DONT! Just write something here. It's been 6 weeks for me since the breakup, and I gotta say it does get better. Sure I have mixed emotions on a daily, however I look back at 'day one' and there's much improvement. Keep your head up, everyone. Remember, you are not alone and there are many people here with awesome advice. 5
ColdandLonelyinAK Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 It is very hard. One thing I've noticed I've been doing is, whenever I see something that the ex and I got a kick out of together, I instantly want to text him and share. "Watching 'Guardians of the Galaxy'. Remember when we had an awesome time seeing that together?'" Stuff like that. Thankfully, I've blocked his number and caught myself and not actually done it, but I'm always half tempted to go through with it, foolishly thinking that it will bring back a flood of good memories to him or something. Instead, I just have to tell myself that he chose this and it's over. It did really mess with my mind the other night when he repeatedly told me he loved me still. He was drunk so I don't know what to make of it. Thanks for the encouragement, and it's good to know that it eventually does get better.
darkbloom Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Keep going! It feels amazing to be at 5 months without a single slip up. Nothing is worse than starting back at day 1. 3
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 20, 2015 Author Posted May 20, 2015 It is very hard. One thing I've noticed I've been doing is, whenever I see something that the ex and I got a kick out of together, I instantly want to text him and share. "Watching 'Guardians of the Galaxy'. Remember when we had an awesome time seeing that together?'" Stuff like that. Thankfully, I've blocked his number and caught myself and not actually done it, but I'm always half tempted to go through with it, foolishly thinking that it will bring back a flood of good memories to him or something. Instead, I just have to tell myself that he chose this and it's over. It did really mess with my mind the other night when he repeatedly told me he loved me still. He was drunk so I don't know what to make of it. Thanks for the encouragement, and it's good to know that it eventually does get better. Yeah I come across a lot of those too, and it always itches to want to send that text. However there's prob no good in that. My ex too has done that saying she loves me and such, but I don't think anything of it. It saddens me how everything ended when I believe it was an awesome relationship. Guess sometimes it's just not meant to be. Such is life. Definitely keep your head up! 2
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 20, 2015 Author Posted May 20, 2015 Keep going! It feels amazing to be at 5 months without a single slip up. Nothing is worse than starting back at day 1. Yeah I had a couple slip ups and they were no fun. I definitely can't wait to look back one day and feel 100% healed. Until then, just gotta keep pushing and do my best
SLee Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I'm still living with my ex until our lease is up at the end of June AND I'm paired up for a wedding this weekend for mutual friends of ours. I'm scared to move as we've had our really nice apartment and stuff for two years and even though I know it's for the best right now, I think it's going to be harder on me than previously anticipated, which sucks. To top it off, he goes to my university. We're in different programs and all, and it's a big school so we probably won't see each other that much, but he's also moving literally TWO BLOCKS away from me and I'm sure we'll bump into each other as we take the same bus lines to school and all. That's gonna suck. For now, I'm relying heavily on the support of friends and family who have come out in droves to support me and I already have things planned for summer (where I'll be meeting lots of new and interesting people in general) and for the next school year which is good. Also the kind folks here at LS have been godsends. My biggest hurdle will be to narrow my focus and to not isolate myself once I do move. I'm going full NC the second I move. I'm gonna disappear from his life and remove all traces of him from mine. Fingers crossed that I'll eventually be doing a lot better!
Moley87 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 2 month break up and trying to be friends now 8 days straight NC Feels weird but my first goal is 30 days NC. Looking forward to achieving this goal
towch Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) 2.5 weeks NC but have been broken up since april, i spent the entire month fighting to fix things after she confessed that she was having an affair. Needless to say i have found out that that was a half baked confession as she told me a couple of weeks back that she hasn't talked to him since the confession only to find out they are still hanging out, kicking it. She called me on saturday drunk telling me she missed the old me while also spilling profanity, conservation lasted 10 secs, i don't consider that contact lol. I have reached the point where i can now laugh at now stupid and naive i was, i guess that is progress. we will all get there eventually, keep pushing! Edit: For those having problems blocking your Ex because you want to know if you were contacted, get a windows phone. It blocks calls and archives text but also will notify you that it blocked them you can then choose to view them if you wish while saving you the panic of an ex calling or texting Edited May 20, 2015 by towch
ThisIsNotMyName Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 4 months of no contact, first month was hell, then I was feeling better but for some reason recently i started feeling like **** again almost like that first month. Im traveling, focusing on my job and dating new people but every morning when I wake up, and at nights when i try to sleep, i cant stop thinking of her and how much i miss her and start crying like a child. Im sure I wont break NC, but how to stop hoping for her to come back, that's my struggle, every time the phone rings and its not her it feels horrible. Anyways, best of luck to all of you. I know we'll make it through.
casey.lives Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 keep going.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoingkeepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing
casey.lives Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing.keepgoing
biggles6087 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Two days now since Monday we trashed it on the phone she asked me to be friends so I said no I don't do friends its all or nothing you dumped me remember I also told her how I felt and that I had strong feelings for her it wouldn't be fair to keep me on a string like her puppet and I walked away.Its tough going but keeping as busy as possible haven't even thought about picking up the phone.If she really does like me she make the connection again if she doesn't she doesn't I'm not really all that fussed any more at the end of the I have my self respect and self dignity I'm not been anyone doormat any more sick of it.
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 I'm still living with my ex until our lease is up at the end of June AND I'm paired up for a wedding this weekend for mutual friends of ours. I'm scared to move as we've had our really nice apartment and stuff for two years and even though I know it's for the best right now, I think it's going to be harder on me than previously anticipated, which sucks. To top it off, he goes to my university. We're in different programs and all, and it's a big school so we probably won't see each other that much, but he's also moving literally TWO BLOCKS away from me and I'm sure we'll bump into each other as we take the same bus lines to school and all. That's gonna suck. For now, I'm relying heavily on the support of friends and family who have come out in droves to support me and I already have things planned for summer (where I'll be meeting lots of new and interesting people in general) and for the next school year which is good. Also the kind folks here at LS have been godsends. My biggest hurdle will be to narrow my focus and to not isolate myself once I do move. I'm going full NC the second I move. I'm gonna disappear from his life and remove all traces of him from mine. Fingers crossed that I'll eventually be doing a lot better! That's the best way to do it.. I had a lot of friends come out and help at first, but eventually I kinda felt bad bugging them all the time about it so I kinda just did my own thing. Everyone here has been a tremendous help, and it honestly makes me feel good that I'm not alone (even though I wish no one would ever have to go through the pain of heartbreak). I know you will do better, and feel awesome. I still have my up and downs on certain days, however the progress done so far has been nothing but amazing. Keep your head up, and keep pushing! Bigger and better things are right around the corner.
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 2 month break up and trying to be friends now 8 days straight NC Feels weird but my first goal is 30 days NC. Looking forward to achieving this goal Yeah if you set yourself a goal, I noticed it feels good as you start coming to that day. Once you're closer you can say 60 days, and so on. Best of luck with it!
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 2.5 weeks NC but have been broken up since april, i spent the entire month fighting to fix things after she confessed that she was having an affair. Needless to say i have found out that that was a half baked confession as she told me a couple of weeks back that she hasn't talked to him since the confession only to find out they are still hanging out, kicking it. She called me on saturday drunk telling me she missed the old me while also spilling profanity, conservation lasted 10 secs, i don't consider that contact lol. I have reached the point where i can now laugh at now stupid and naive i was, i guess that is progress. we will all get there eventually, keep pushing! Edit: For those having problems blocking your Ex because you want to know if you were contacted, get a windows phone. It blocks calls and archives text but also will notify you that it blocked them you can then choose to view them if you wish while saving you the panic of an ex calling or texting Yeah at first I kept trying to fix things, however I slowly learned that you can't be the only one fighting, and that you shouldn't use your energy on someone who doesn't want you. We should never settle for someone's "2nd option." It's sad to realize it, however it's also a relief. I'm slowly reaching that point where I laugh at how stupid I was, however I still have my days where I miss how things were. Oh well I know we will all get to a point one day where we DON'T look back. Keep pushing! 1
Author TheMoreYouKnow Posted May 22, 2015 Author Posted May 22, 2015 4 months of no contact, first month was hell, then I was feeling better but for some reason recently i started feeling like **** again almost like that first month. Im traveling, focusing on my job and dating new people but every morning when I wake up, and at nights when i try to sleep, i cant stop thinking of her and how much i miss her and start crying like a child. Im sure I wont break NC, but how to stop hoping for her to come back, that's my struggle, every time the phone rings and its not her it feels horrible. Anyways, best of luck to all of you. I know we'll make it through. I'm sorry you're going through this. I definitely find myself at my weakest points sometimes during the nights and mornings. It's weird. I still tend to hang to that little hope that she may come back one day, however I start thinking about the **** I went through because of her and it makes me change my mind. I hope you find a girl who is as crazy about you as you are about her, and she makes you completely forget about this current girl. Keep your head up and good luck. We'll make it!
dangerbang Posted May 22, 2015 Posted May 22, 2015 I actually don't see why everyone on this site seems to measure this NC. It's a bad way of looking at it. It's over. Counting the days since you last spoke to them means they are still affecting you. I know roughly how long it's been but not to the day. Embrace the present moment and do what you can to be happier going forward. Forget about this NC nonsense, it should be a given that you'll never speak with them again.
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