Dolce15 Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 Hello! I'm just looking for some opinions here, I haven't dated much, or really at all. I'm 29 and was in a relationship for over 9 years that I ended over a year ago. I've been doing the online thing, met a lot of guys and no one seems to be that serious or we just didn't have any chemistry. Started talking to a guy about 2 months ago, just casually here and there. We finally met about 2 weeks back and have seen each other 3 times since then. Our first phone conversation he asked me what I was looking for so I told him, something somewhat serious with the possibility of marriage. He said he was looking for something serious but moreso just wants to meet someone that he has a good connection with. 1st date was good, met for a few drinks and talked for about 5 hours. No kissing or touching except a hug at the end. 2nd date we made out a bit, 3rd date we ended up sleeping together, obviously I wanted to wait longer but it happened. I don't regret it but I'm not super happy about it. Either way he messaged me the next morning and throughout the day, called me in the evening but I had already gone to sleep. I guess I am having the usual questions, is he just playing around, should I have a conversation again about the whole looking for something serious and just say I am not comfortable having sex until there is some sort of exclusivity, or just wait and see how things pan out? I haven't initiated much since it happened, he texts me first in the morning, he'll call me etc but we haven't really discussed that night....granted its only been 3 days but still. Thoughts? We also haven't really had a full proper date, the first one was drinks, second one I went to his house, then he asked me to come over again and I told him I was not comfortable with that and would prefer to meet for dinner so we went to a wine bar. 1
Satu Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 One thing I've learned: "Be exactly the same person on the inside and the outside." Mean what you say, and say what you mean. Be absolutely open about what you want, whilst respecting what the other person wants. If those wants match up, you've got something good. 1
Author Dolce15 Posted May 20, 2015 Author Posted May 20, 2015 Thank you Satu for your reply. I guess what I'm wondering is how to approach the conversation without sounding clingy or needy. I deactivated my dating profile after we talked a couple times and decided to meet, I don't know if he did the same, I doubt it since we haven't had any talk about being exclusive. I just don't prefer to keep an active profile while I'm getting to know someone and it only takes a few seconds to reactivate it anyway. I feel like I'm making this way more complicated than it should be =\ 1
Satu Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Thank you Satu for your reply. I guess what I'm wondering is how to approach the conversation without sounding clingy or needy. I deactivated my dating profile after we talked a couple times and decided to meet, I don't know if he did the same, I doubt it since we haven't had any talk about being exclusive. I just don't prefer to keep an active profile while I'm getting to know someone and it only takes a few seconds to reactivate it anyway. I feel like I'm making this way more complicated than it should be =\ Just be straightforward about it when it comes up in conversation. It doesn't need to be an uncomfortable topic, and doesn't need many words to say it. Say it when you're feeling good, when it feels easy and natural. Just be yourself.
Recommended Posts