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So I confessed

solostand

By solostand
in The Other Man / Woman

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While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

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solostand Established Member

solostand

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So after a two and a half year affair which ended last month, I confessed the truth to ex-MM's adult daughter, who had sent me a text.

I feel guilty on one hand and relieved on the other.

It got kind of ugly.

I feel remorse about that.

minimariah Established Member

minimariah

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sending you many virtual hugs, solo.

GollumsNightmare Established Member

GollumsNightmare

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Guess you got your revenge.

beach Established Member

beach

Posted
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So after a two and a half year affair which ended last month, I confessed the truth to ex-MM's adult daughter, who had sent me a text.

I feel guilty on one hand and relieved on the other.

It got kind of ugly.

I feel remorse about that.

 

Was there anything good to come from that?

 

 

Why are you communicating with his kids at this point?

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solostand Established Member

solostand

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She contacted me. That's the only reason I communicated with her.

 

She indicated they already knew about the affair.

JPMC Established Member

JPMC

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You just can't let it go. You're addicted to the drama. What happened to moving and changing your numbers?

 

How does she have your contact information?

  • Like 3
Satu Established Member

Satu

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So after a two and a half year affair which ended last month, I confessed the truth to ex-MM's adult daughter, who had sent me a text.

I feel guilty on one hand and relieved on the other.

*It got kind of ugly.

I feel remorse about that.

 

*As you should.

  • Like 2
minime13 Established Member

minime13

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So after a two and a half year affair which ended last month, I confessed the truth to ex-MM's adult daughter, who had sent me a text.

I feel guilty on one hand and relieved on the other.

It got kind of ugly.

I feel remorse about that.

 

How was this your place to do this? She isn't your daughter, and that isn't your family. What you did was pretty selfish, and to get it off your own chest because of the guilt you feel. Admitting something does nothing to assuage guilt. You actually have to feel remorse for what you did, and be in a position to forgive yourself for what you did.

 

What you did was wrong in so many ways, and completely self-serving. You brought your own misery upon someone else to try to unload your personal burden. It seems like misery really does love company.

 

I don't mean to be so rude, but grow up already. You're in your 50's and you're doing this? Don't date again until you get to the root of your issues and actually start fixing them.

  • Like 4
beach Established Member

beach

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So you went through all the trouble to change jobs and move in order to be rid of your MM...yet you continue participating in his drama?

 

Solo - change all your contact info.

 

You thrive on the drama... Now you've stirred the pot.

 

Just stop...

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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OP doesn't understand boundaries and limits.

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beach Established Member

beach

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She contacted me. That's the only reason I communicated with her.

 

She indicated they already knew about the affair.

 

 

His daughter is nosey!

 

But you already knew that. And she was fishing and you took her bait.

 

Stop communicating! There's NOTHING that you need to tell them.

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lookingforclosure Established Member

lookingforclosure

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oh no...I truly hate this

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anika99 Established Member

anika99

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I dunno. I think if the MM was lying to his family about the affair and gaslighting them and they came to you for answers perhaps the kindest thing to do at this point was to just tell them the truth. So maybe you did the best thing under the circumstances.

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Cali408 Established Member

Cali408

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Solo, I cheer for you and hope you find happiness.

 

This is just so destructive. To you because it allows you to thrive in the drama and you hurt his daughter and wife who are now collateral damage to yours and his selfishness.

 

They may know, but it isn't up to you to tell them or confirm. The best thing to have done was to not respond, same as not telling him you're moving.

 

But you couldn't. Just disappointed for you 2 steps forward 3 back.

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Hope Shimmers Established Member

Hope Shimmers

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This is just so destructive. To you because it allows you to thrive in the drama

 

She recycles her own drama.

  • Like 7
Cali408 Established Member

Cali408

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She recycles her own drama.

 

The green drama queen

  • Like 2
goodyblue Established Member

goodyblue

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Tell, don't tell... It changes with everyone here depending on the poster.

 

Solo, do your best to concentrate on your own healing and do what you feel is right. Hang in there.

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IfWishesWereHorses Established Member

IfWishesWereHorses

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So... What's transpired since? Did you contact him to let him know?

Mount Established Member

Mount

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Just when I thought it is kind of strange that nothing from you so far, seems to be odd, based on my recognition or experience of reading HUMAN NATURE- which is people don't change.

 

Guess I am right again, you would always have a reason to create or stir up drama.

 

People don't change.

 

She contacted me. That's the only reason I communicated with her.

 

She indicated they already knew about the affair.

Mount Established Member

Mount

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So true - People don't change.

 

You just can't let it go. You're addicted to the drama. What happened to moving and changing your numbers?

 

How does she have your contact information?

Sassy Girl Established Member

Sassy Girl

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Wait, so you had a DDay in January, but affair only ended last month, huh?

 

Thought you'd been quiet.

You do want the drama don't you?

 

Let me guess... You broke NC like your ill informed shrink told you to?

minime13 Established Member

minime13

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Wait, so you had a DDay in January, but affair only ended last month, huh?

 

Thought you'd been quiet.

You do want the drama don't you?

 

Let me guess... You broke NC like your ill informed shrink told you to?

 

Yeah - shrinks only act on what you tell them. My sister's therapist told her to work on her relationship with a partner once, when everyone else advised her to hit the road. The one things she omitted to tell her therapist was that THEY WERE NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP, he told her he was not interested in dating her, but she followed him around like a puppy regardless.

 

This woman doesn't want help. She wants drama and attention.

  • Like 1
beach Established Member

beach

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So... What's transpired since? Did you contact him to let him know?

 

Did this prompt your MM to contact?

beach Established Member

beach

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What was the point of moving far away if you're still willing to participate in all the crap you said you wanted to leave behind?

 

Something prompted his daughter to ask you - what was it?

  • Like 1
William Established Member

William

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Gotta do some member analysis so closed for awhile until completed. We'll get to it after work today.

While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!
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