Virgin26 Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I’ve been seeing this amazing guy for a few weeks now and things are just great! I was hesitant to start dating him at the beginning since we work for the same company (different departments though). The chemistry was too strong, so I started dating him against my better judgement. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of having everybody knowing about my private life, so I asked him to never tell anybody about us. I live very close to the office, so we’ve been mostly hanging out at my place to avoid running into coworkers outside the office. We made out heavily, but never had sex. He initiates contact all the time, he is sweet and considerate, and he is very supportive. However, since the first two weeks, we haven’t been on a proper date! Somehow, we always end up meeting at work for a quick coffee, or we head to my place (Which is 2 minutes away from where we work). This started to annoy me a lot. I want to have a normal relationships, go out on dates, try new things with him etc. He tried asking me on a date twice but I already had plans. He never tried again!! I don’t want to ask him to ask me out on a date! I think the date will just lose its value and I’ll feel like I made him take me out! Also, I feel like I'm making things too easy and convenient for him! I'm not a fan of playing games but I'm not sure how to bring this issue up! What do you think I should do in this case? Any advise or tips?
Peachland Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 Did you offer an alternative day to go out? He may think you're ok staying in since you turned him down twice.
Author Virgin26 Posted May 19, 2015 Author Posted May 19, 2015 Did you offer an alternative day to go out? He may think you're ok staying in since you turned him down twice. No, I have not I have hinted that I don't like staying in all the time though. But nothing has happened yet!
Syberia Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 The way he's seeing it, you essentially turned him down twice without offering an alternative. He is probably assuming you're fine with the status quo, and perhaps even wondering what he did wrong or why you don't want a date. Unfortunately, that does mean the ball is in your court, and you're going to have to be the one to bring it up with him. Ask him out somewhere, he won't bite and should appreciate it. 2
Redhead14 Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I’ve been seeing this amazing guy for a few weeks now and things are just great! I was hesitant to start dating him at the beginning since we work for the same company (different departments though). The chemistry was too strong, so I started dating him against my better judgement. Anyway, I’m not a big fan of having everybody knowing about my private life, so I asked him to never tell anybody about us. I live very close to the office, so we’ve been mostly hanging out at my place to avoid running into coworkers outside the office. We made out heavily, but never had sex. He initiates contact all the time, he is sweet and considerate, and he is very supportive. However, since the first two weeks, we haven’t been on a proper date! Somehow, we always end up meeting at work for a quick coffee, or we head to my place (Which is 2 minutes away from where we work). This started to annoy me a lot. I want to have a normal relationships, go out on dates, try new things with him etc. He tried asking me on a date twice but I already had plans. He never tried again!! I don’t want to ask him to ask me out on a date! I think the date will just lose its value and I’ll feel like I made him take me out! Also, I feel like I'm making things too easy and convenient for him! I'm not a fan of playing games but I'm not sure how to bring this issue up! What do you think I should do in this case? Any advise or tips? After the man initiates the first few dates, it's good for the woman to begin to initiate a date here and there. Reciprocity and balance is important. As him to something you like to do and pay for him. Then hand the "reins" back to him so to speak. Show him what you want. He asked you twice for a proper date but you had plans. You should have offered him an alternate date at that time. That is a clear signal that you really wanted to go on a date with him, truly couldn't do it at that time and giving him an option. You declined twice, so now he's wondering what's up even though you told him you had plans, he's probably doing that mind thing people do and wondered if you were blowing him off or something. What you could do now is say, "hey, you asked me a couple of times to do something and I couldn't then. I'd like to take you to _________". If he accepts, you go, have fun and pay. He should then take back the initiating role. Let him initiate a couple, you initiate one, etc. 2
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