xxoo Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 . And 69 comes to mind. What an impossible act! How do you skillfully please someone with your mouth while being relaxed and enjoy being pleasured orally at the same time? Feel it; don't think it. It's like a dance, feeling the rhythm and responding naturally to each other's movements.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 FF, do you um J/O in front of or sort of with them, or do you run off and do it in private? Haha.. I was referring to masturbation when I'm by myself. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of masturbating in front of a woman. This is usually how it goes. Quality foreplay, and then sex for awhile. Usually at least 45-60 minutes. Then we take a break. Talk, cuddle, fool around, and repeat. Since I never bust it's very easy for me to get hard repeatedly. This usually happens 3-4x over the course of the night which is why she's a shivering shaking mess and can barely walk right. I still love sex for the experience, and knowing that I can satisfy the woman that I am with. I just don't orgasm in front of one. However, the next day when I am fully rested after a good night's sleep I'll wake up with extreme morning wood and have quality spank bank material to work with from the night before. Is it ideal? Definitely not. I'd love to cum during sex to know that feeling of bliss. However, it's still awesome for me regardless.
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) Yes, I totally identify with this. I have trouble focusing on my own pleasure, I'm so concerned with the woman's pleasure. And 69 comes to mind. What an impossible act! How do you skillfully please someone with your mouth while being relaxed and enjoy being pleasured orally at the same time? SC, what about when a woman gives you oral..not 69, by just straight oral on you. Women derive great pleasure from giving oral.at least I do! Can you relax and cum that way? I mean, being that you are not so focused on her and all.... Edited May 20, 2015 by katiegrl
jen1447 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Haha.. I was referring to masturbation when I'm by myself. I've never felt comfortable with the idea of masturbating in front of a woman. I understand their dissatisfaction then, bc your pleasure is private and a woman most always wants to be a part of that. Could you cum in front of them? Might want to give it a try, that way at least she can feel like she was a part of it.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I understand their dissatisfaction then, bc your pleasure is private and a woman most always wants to be a part of that. Could you cum in front of them? Might want to give it a try, that way at least she can feel like she was a part of it. Well just because I didn't cum during sex, doesn't mean that I didn't get pleasure out of it or enjoy myself. I do very much. But you have to understand. When every woman you sleep with over almost a six year period complains, you develop a complex. So now the idea of cumming in front of a woman has been associated with pressure and makes me feel really uncomfortable. However, it is something I am trying to work on and get better about.
jen1447 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Just trust me (for once lol) - it's a big thing for women. Actually really big.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Just trust me (for once lol) - it's a big thing for women. Actually really big. Hence why I've developed such a complex about it. Unfortunately, orgasm is 90% mental. Is there such a thing as a sexual hypnotist?
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I understand their dissatisfaction then, bc your pleasure is private and a woman most always wants to be a part of that. Could you cum in front of them? Might want to give it a try, that way at least she can feel like she was a part of it. Which is precisely why I love giving my bf oral! What a turn on knowing I am turning HIM on! I sometimes like it better than f*cking....*I* masturbate to thinking about giving him oral...he gets so into it...I love watching it and knowing I'm the reason. I an so curious about why SV and ff are unable to cum with or in front of their partner. Is it self consciousness? If so, I wonder where that comes from.. FF, just wanted to say I am impressed by your vulnerability here in admitting this. A side if you I have rarely seen.... 2
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Well just because I didn't cum during sex, doesn't mean that I didn't get pleasure out of it or enjoy myself. I do very much. **But you have to understand. When every woman you sleep with over almost a six year period complains, you develop a complex. So now the idea of cumming in front of a woman has been associated with pressure and makes me feel really uncomfortable. However, it is something I am trying to work on and get better abou***t. This makes sense to me....it is also why some men develop full blown impotence. It happens once, then every time thereafter they're thinking/stressing about whether or not they will get it up...and it's that pressure to get it up which results in them NOT getting it up. Same thing..
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Which is precisely why I love giving my bf oral! What a turn on knowing I am turning HIM on! I sometimes like it better than f*cking....*I* masturbate to thinking about giving him oral...he gets so into it...I love watching it and knowing I'm the reason. I an so curious about why SV and ff are unable to cum with or in front of their partner. Is it self consciousness? If so, I wonder where that comes from.. FF, just wanted to say I am impressed by your vulnerability here in admitting this. A side if you I have rarely seen.... Well I have a hard time being vulnerable during sex which is one reason I love to be in control. That's definitely part of it. Also, I'm sure there are women out there with BJ skills that truly love doing it. However, I haven't met any. Some tell me before we even have sex, that they hate it. Others will brag about their skills and ultimatey fall flat. Then others will do it for 10-20 seconds just to get it over with, etc.. I'd love to meet a woman that genuinely loves it, masturbates during, knows how to tease, loves to gag and make it sloppy, loves tity-f**king, etc. But the women I've been with all love receiving and then having their brains f**ked out. I will admit, with how satisfied they always end up being, it would be nice to receive some reciprocation..LOL
jen1447 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 This makes sense to me....it is also why some men develop full blown impotence. It happens once, then every time thereafter they're thinking/stressing about whether or not they will get it up...and it's that pressure to get it up which results in them NOT getting it up. Same thing.. I think if he's not afraid of the woman tho (she makes it 'safe' like thru the lengthy dating lead-in FF does) it should be doable. Eventually. Trust and full communication and all that. FF, have her do the ass-face on you. It'll work!
Erised Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Yeah it's definitely as much for me as it is for her. On one hand, a woman appreciates trust, intimacy, and that I learn about what makes her tick. On the other hand, it makes me get comfortable with her. But I have a lot of mental blocks when it comes to sex. Always have. It's funny because you usually only hear women complaining about not being able to cum during sex. But I haven't had an orgasm during sex in almost six years. It only happens during masturbation when I am fully relaxed and there's no pressure. The one gift though is that I am able to go a long time which women appreciate. It's just frustrating feeling like a champagne bottle where the cork is on the verge of popping but never does. That's why I've always said that the woman who gets me to finish during sex will be the one. Can you orgasm during oral? I was with a guy who had difficulties (though he could and claimed he couldn't with most) and it was hard to get over the insecurity and sadness from not pleasing each time I couldn't get him to cum. He said he had trouble relaxing and it was easier if he had drank or otherwise altered consciousness. Oral was more reliable, though, always. Took longer than for most but I enjoy it so that was A okay. I'm a pleaser, though. That's where huge amounts of my enjoyment in sex came from... If I feel like the guy is all focused on me, it diminishes my pleasure. I think both that and the brief period of time the one guy had ED... I had to fight my insecure little brain from telling me all my physical faults clearly causing the problem, and purposefully avoid becoming sullen and making it rough on my partner.
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 FF, have her do the ass-face on you. It'll work! Haha.. I will admit that rimming a woman always gets me hard as a rock. Especially the first time when she says "No what are you doing," and then she starts moaning more and more and backing her ass up into my face. It's funny how many women have misconceptions about ass play. When done right, it can be really enjoyable. But it's something you just have to go for the first time and gauge her reaction. Most women end up LOVING it because of how sensitive the area is. However, proper hygiene is obviously paramount..LOL Ironically though. As much as I love rimming a woman, I can take or leave actual anal sex. It can be hot for variety and introducing her to something she thought she'd hate. But I'll take p**sy any day of the week for actual sex.
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) Well I have a hard time being vulnerable during sex which is one reason I love to be in control. That's definitely part of it. Also, I'm sure there are women out there with BJ skills that truly love doing it. However, I haven't met any. Some tell me before we even have sex, that they hate it. Others will brag about their skills and ultimatey fall flat. Then others will do it for 10-20 seconds just to get it over with, etc.. I'd love to meet a woman that genuinely loves it, masturbates during, knows how to tease, loves to gag and make it sloppy, loves tity-f**king, etc. But the women I've been with all love receiving and then having their brains f**ked out. I will admit, with how satisfied they always end up being, it would be nice to receive some reciprocation..LOL Well like I said I DO really love it...but part of that is because I love HIM...and as such enjoy getting HIM off. As for my skills.. well, since he gets sooooo into it every time.....I assume they're not half bad... ;) And for the record, there is way to do it (deep throating too) WITHOUT gagging! Edited May 20, 2015 by katiegrl
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Well like I said I DO really love it...but part of that is because I love HIM...and as such enjoy getting HIM off. As for my skills.. Well, since he gets sooooo into it every time..... ;) And for the record, there is way to do it (deep throating too) WITHOUT gagging! The gagging sound is hot though. Can you orgasm during oral? Have never had a BJ that was good enough to make me. Women I meet either - go into initial dating saying they hate it, brag about their skills and fall flat, or do it with luke warm enthusiasm briefly because they appreciate my oral skills. But I've yet to meet a woman that truly wanted to give a gagging, tear inducing, sloppy BJ with lots of teasing and titty-f**king.
jen1447 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 And for the record, there is way to do it (deep throating too) WITHOUT gagging! Good work Katie! I actually sort of dislike gagging, especially the way you see it done in porn where it's automatic the minute a dick breaks the plain of the mouth. I'd be all like "stop that!" IRL.
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 ***The gagging sound is hot though. *** Have never had a BJ that was good enough to make me. Women I meet either - go into initial dating saying they hate it, brag about their skills and fall flat, or do it with luke warm enthusiasm briefly because they appreciate my oral skills. But I've yet to meet a woman that truly wanted to give a gagging, tear inducing, sloppy BJ with lots of teasing and titty-f**king. Quote in asterisk...good to know! I can always pretend gag....if it means *that* much to you! ;)
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 The gagging sound is hot though. Have never had a BJ that was good enough to make me. Women I meet either - go into initial dating saying they hate it, brag about their skills and fall flat, or do it with luke warm enthusiasm briefly because they appreciate my oral skills. But I've yet to meet a woman that truly wanted to give a gagging, tear inducing, sloppy BJ with lots of teasing and titty-f**king. You are meeting the WRONG women!!!! Hopefully, your new girl will surprise you???
fitnessfan365 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 You are meeting the WRONG women!!!! Hopefully, your new girl will surprise you??? It's funny. I did meet one woman a few years ago that took me to the edge sexually. A huge freak in every aspect. The problem though was that she started to become really emotionally unstable and borderline bi-polar. However, this new woman is WOW in that category. Plus she owns her own home, works as an executive, and seems very emotionally healthy. So looking forward to exploring.
katiegrl Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 It's funny. I did meet one woman a few years ago that took me to the edge sexually. A huge freak in every aspect. The problem though was that she started to become really emotionally unstable and borderline bi-polar. However, this new woman is WOW in that category. Plus she owns her own home, works as an executive, and seems very emotionally healthy. So looking forward to exploring. And don't forget....she loves wearing dresses too! (Sorry, couldn't resist......)
Krieger Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 Well if woman were in better shape and took more care of there body men could get it up. Just saying .
Hawaii51 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 I tend to date men in that age range and have only encountered ED once. He was fit, too, and at the young end... thought he was way too young for it. He agreed to go to the doctor and I was sympathetic. the doctor said it was depression but it ended up resolving itself without medication. I think of ED as more like a 60+ problem. So he didn't have ED, something else was off. thank you.
SycamoreCircle Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 SC, what about when a woman gives you oral..not 69, by just straight oral on you. Women derive great pleasure from giving oral.at least I do! Can you relax and cum that way? I mean, being that you are not so focused on her and all....I've been able to cum with some women that way. And I'm not sure why some and not all. I guess there was something more vigorous about about the blowjob. I think, in general, men have trouble cumming from blowjobs.
empresario Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 (edited) I have the same thing. Especially if I'm going down on a girl. I get involved in what I'm doing as a type A perfectionist and lose my boner completely. Next thing I know the chick wants to have sex and I've lost all interest because I'm busy working on her. Have definitely had this happen a lot in life. Why do I feel like we are almost essentially the same person? Are you my brother? I always wanted a brother. Edit: I will say, nothing turns me on more than the female orgasm, though. So once that starts happening it's up and ready to go instantly. So as long as she's fine with cumming during foreplay it's not a problem! Edited May 20, 2015 by empresario
jen1447 Posted May 20, 2015 Posted May 20, 2015 It sounds like you guys are "doing sex," not f*cking. (Only partly serious but it does sound like some sort of disconnect is happening.) 1
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