rlc1957 Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I have been dating a lady for over a year. We have talked about getting married one day but no ring nor date. Recently on her birthday, while on vacation, I walked in and found her on her phone in a text conversation with an old bf. I felt it was inappropriate for her to be responding to his texts. I felt a little betrayed. She said it was a long time ago and that they are just friends now. If you have to hide something it's probably not the right thing to be doing.....
PegNosePete Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 How much do they talk to each other? Pretty weird that you've been with her for over a year and never known she is friends with an ex. People usually discuss this stuff much earlier on. Why didn't she tell you about him before?
Gaeta Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 An old boyfriend wished her happy birthday I don't think it's a big deal. I find your reaction childish that you expected her to ignore a happy birthday wish even from an ex. A lot of people keep on being civil toward each other after their break up.
Redhead14 Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 (edited) I have been dating a lady for over a year. We have talked about getting married one day but no ring nor date. Recently on her birthday, while on vacation, I walked in and found her on her phone in a text conversation with an old bf. I felt it was inappropriate for her to be responding to his texts. I felt a little betrayed. She said it was a long time ago and that they are just friends now. If you have to hide something it's probably not the right thing to be doing..... Dating for a year and no ring or date . . . you might want to do a relationship check up with her. She may be questioning where it's going thus the need to have someone in the wings. You could open a very casual, non-confrontational conversation with her and say something like "I love you and value and respect our relationship and am looking forward to the future with you. Are there things that you think we need to work on or things we should change or address to continue moving forward?" And, then let her talk. If she is keeping her ex in the background for a real reason, this conversation may tap into her conscience a little at least. All that being said though, I do think her hiding it is childish. If she handles everything she thinks might upset you or avoids things that may cause conflict, you may have other issues to deal with later, i.e. hiding purchases, traffic tickets, etc. Edited May 19, 2015 by Redhead14
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