justasadguy Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 A couple of weeks ago I asked a co-worker of mine if she would like to go out on a date with me. Now we've been working together for about 5 months; during those months we've talked plenty of times and I've found that we have a lot common interest. So when I asked her she said yes. We both seemed general happy about it so naturally I was excited and we planned out a date for ourselves. However next week she sent me a message telling me that she didn't think she was ready to go on a date. She further tells me how it had only been a couple of weeks since she broke up with her boyfriend, which I honestly didn't know of, and that she doesn't think she's looking for anything right now. Now despite this we're still pretty cool with each other as we talked everything out; in fact it's like nothing really happened at all. The thing is I love being around this girl, she's really one of the few people I feel like I can be myself around her. So now I find myself wondering what I should do? I want to try to hang out with her outside of work and get to know her more and vice versa, and then maybe after some time had passed I would try to ask her again. But wouldn't that be just a fruitless effort? But because she said "yes" I still feel that maybe I might have a chance, but I also feel that maybe I'm lying to myself and that it would be better to just leave things as it is. I tried asking my friends for advice, but they don't quite have as much experience with this sort of thing. I would just like some sort of advice so that maybe I can just think straight for once.
zyphfly Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 I think you have to respect her wishes for the time being. You just need to keep getting along with her, have fun at work, and just be honest and upfront that you would be interested in taking her on a date sometime if she ever feels up to it, but don't pressure her or make it awkward. If she was being honest with you about her situation, she may still have feelings for her ex, or she may just not want things to get weird at work with you. If she is interested though, as long as you've made it clear than I think when the time is right it will work itself out.
GoBlue Posted May 19, 2015 Posted May 19, 2015 But because she said "yes" I still feel that maybe I might have a chance, but I also feel that maybe I'm lying to myself and that it would be better to just leave things as it is. Sometimes women say "yes" because they just don't like saying "no." This is a co-worker relationship and trying to put more into it is a slippery slope. Taking a person at their word seems like the best way to stay out of trouble. Assume that she means what she says. If you push for more - unique problems can be created in a work environment. What do you think is the best move?
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