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How can people still be "shy" and be in relationships?

Bobbi7

By Bobbi7
in Self-Improvement and Personal Well-Being

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Bobbi7 Established Member

Bobbi7

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Isn't being in a relationship having to be social 99% of the time? If someone isn't social in a relationship-then how does one even stay in it and remain interested? Anybody is replaceable.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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I used to be very shy, but I was very sociable too, just happy to be around people without ever being the centre of attention.

 

'Shy' and 'social' aren't mutually exclusive.

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Bobbi7 Established Member

Bobbi7

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Ok, so Shy, introverted, Mute, are different things?

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thefooloftheyear Established Member

thefooloftheyear

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Isn't being in a relationship having to be social 99% of the time? If someone isn't social in a relationship-then how does one even stay in it and remain interested? Anybody is replaceable.

 

 

Nope.........

 

 

TFY

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Syberia Established Member

Syberia

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Not sure I understand your question. Even if you're shy, so long as you're able to get the relationship started, you get comfortable and open up with your SO.

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leavesonautumn Established Member

leavesonautumn

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I'm pretty shy and quiet but I also observe people a lot or "study" them before opening up. With my current boyfriend, he just made me feel so comfortable and he was so sweet that I had no problem asking him out. With some people, you just meet and instantly click and I'd say the majority of relationships start out that way. I'm shy around my boyfriend's friends but he's social enough for the both of us and as I spend more time with people, the more comfortable I get. I don't like putting the pressure on extroverted people to get me to open up so sometimes I do force myself to not be so shy all the time.

 

Being in a relationship for an introvert or someone who is shy is easier than dating.

 

I don't believe in soul mates but I do believe in kindred spirits and some people just fit so well together with no explanation. I'm probably going further then what you're asking but people are so complex. No one is just "shy" and that's the only facet of their personality.

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Satu Established Member

Satu

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Posted
Ok, so Shy, introverted, Mute, are different things?

 

Yes, they are different things.

Satu Established Member

Satu

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Anybody is replaceable.

 

No. Nobody is replaceable.

 

Everyone is unique, one of a kind.

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GravityMan Established Member

GravityMan

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Shyness is not binary. It exists on a spectrum, or a continuum. And it can fluctuate. The degree of shyness can vary based on a lot of different internal and external factors. For example, many shy people are very sociable around people they connect well with, such as their close friends and their significant other. Some shy people are the type that are initially reserved but eventually open up. Some people show their nervousness by being very chatty, not quiet.

 

Most adults who are shy are mildly shy. Many of them have had relationships and marriages, and are good with kids. Some have led teams; some have held high-ranking management and supervisory positions and have performed well in those roles. In short, their mild shyness is a non-issue most of the time.

 

Severe shyness in adults is rare. It's a bit more common in young kids under the age of 8 or so, but the norm is to overcome or at least lessen the severity once they grow up a bit...e.g. while they're in high school or college. It may improve organically by itself with age, or it may get better with some support and encouragement from the right people and life experiences, or he/she may just have some sort of epiphany one day. It often coincides with not worrying so much about what others think.

 

Yes, being social to some extent is important...but the overwhelming majority of people will have at least one relationship in their lifetimes. Including the vast majority of shy men and women. OP, that should tell you that being constantly social isn't the end-all-be-all. Odds are, most of those folks unexpectedly met their special someone and they just clicked, period.

 

If, during a silent period, a couple is still comfortable and not awkward in each other's company...that's probably a sign that they click well with each other.

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SpiralOut Established Member

SpiralOut

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Being shy doesn't mean that you don't like talking to people or don't know how to be sociable. It means that it takes time to open up to people. Most shy people, like myself, are talkative once we really get to know someone. Shy people can have good friends they talk to easily and feel comfortable around, yet feel nervous around new people.

 

 

Also, there are plenty of people who find shyness cute in a partner.

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RoseVille Established Member

RoseVille

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Ok, so Shy, introverted, Mute, are different things?

 

Yes, very different things.

Els Established Member

Els

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Ok, so Shy, introverted, Mute, are different things?

 

Wait what? :confused: I hope this is a joke...

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BronzeAgeJaeger217 Established Member

BronzeAgeJaeger217

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well shyness, social-awkwardness, will obviously hurt your chances, screw you more if you are a guy instead of a girl

gemo-opus Member

gemo-opus

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people conflate shy with reserved......i don't think many people are genuinely shy.

scooby-philly Established Member

scooby-philly

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So I agree - first off I hope the "Mute" thing was a joke.

 

Second - yes - shyness is not an issue. nor is it the same thing as introverted either. While many shy people are "introverted", not all introverts are "shy". Look up the book - "quiet - the power of ...in a world that can't stop talking". We live in a society where wealth is generated through buzz and through gossip and where you're only considered "smart" and successful by our unfortunately widely held popular culture if you suffer from verbal diarrhea. Hey, I've worked enough jobs to know that the person doing the most talking is probably a know-it-all or knows **** which neither is good for.

 

Third, as several people pointed out, shyness exists on a sliding scale - one that varies on people present, location, etc.

 

Fourth - I hope the last line was a joke too. Wanna know why FIFA is corrupt, why people hide millions of dollars in Switzerland or the Caymans, why the Republican leadership try and convince every idiot out their that they'll get rich too if we elect them - it's because too many people live without morals, without a sense of when enough is enough - particularly with out time, money, and relationships. Relationships are a choice. Of course you could replace someone. And they could just as easily replace your ass. relationships are about commitment, sacrifice, communication, and experiencing life together.

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