basshunter Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I've just ended my relationship due to personal issues - I've been under a lot of stress, things have been getting on top of me and I just can't seem to be happy, so I decided that I have to go it alone for the foreseeable future and bit the bullet. I've been referred to someone for depression and am on a waiting list. It broke my heart watching her cry when I told her that I couldnt do it any more and having her ask me if there was anything that she could have done for me. She hugged me for a few minutes and I could feel her tears trickling onto my cheek. She told me that she loved me one last time and then I walked away... She knew I was depressed but I don't think she saw this coming. It's hard to put into words just now. I cared for her so much but there are other factors which mean that it wouldn't have worked in the long run. I'm feeling like crap and extremely guilty too. I'm going to miss her and the fun times we had together. I'm beginning to question if it's worth dating because when it ends there's no other feeling like it. There's no such thing as a good breakup. I also feel like an idiot for doing it and am questioning myself, as in 'do I have a right to feel bad? I did this to myself'. Any tips to get over the guilt of hurting a perfectly nice person? I'm feeling even more down now. But there was no other way. I have to focus on myself at this moment in my life and work through it.
Strength in Healing Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I'm beginning to question if it's worth dating because when it ends there's no other feeling like it. This crap is the depression talking, plain as day. Put this in the basket it needs put in, and make sure you understand clearly where it belongs. Outside that, sorry to hear about this. I am not sure honestly if the depression caused you to make a poor decision because of the nature of depression, or if this truly is for the best. I personally would only break up with someone if they wanted out because of the depression, but weren't strong enough to do it. Otherwise, I would respect that the person chooses to remain of their own volition. Depression is a powerful and annoying chemical imbalance. I can only speak to mention two newer treatments that a lot of people in the medical community are talking about. Botox, and Ketamine Infusions. Both are being tested clinically now for their above and beyond abilities to counter depression.
SLee Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Last summer, some really unfortunate life stuff happened that triggered my depression as it's never been triggered before. It was so unyielding and intense and I felt like I was being crushed under pressure from life, depression, and my relationship. So, I made a mistake and took it out on the relationship. I told him I just needed a little pressure off from making very serious grown up decisions (marriage, buying a house, building a life, etc.) when we're both still in college and don't know the future. I went about it all wrong and ended up pushing him away. I took the time from then until March to get my mental health in check and better myself. He dumped me the moment I was open, vulnerable, and happy again. He was really cold and callous about it. My point is, that pushing him away when I was in the midst of the worst depression of my life was a huge, huge mistake. If you felt the relationship was unhealthy or that you absolutely couldn't handle it due to your own personal circumstances, than it may not have been a bad choice. I don't know you or your situation personally o it's hard to say. If she's there to support you through it and you trust that she would tell you if it was too much or something, than there is good reason to have stayed. A lot of dumpers feel guilt. The best thing I've read is to leave the ex alone and move on. Don't contact the ex unless you actually want to reconcile. Focus on your life and what you have to do and move on.
Recommended Posts