Biscous Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I care to an extent simply because I want to be a more approachable person. My girlfriend has said this to me that the consensus of some people that know of me have the following perceptions of me: -good looking -dress well -intimidating -full of myself / think I'm better than everyone. I know I'm an intense person and maybe my presence can make that come off. I'm a tall guy...6'1'' 195lbs, workout and do MMA. I work at a tech company so it's not really common to see a guy like me I guess? I do best one on one with someone. I don't have a lot of acquaintances as I don't want that really. I do have a few friendships that have lasted for several years. I wouldn't consider myself an introvert but there are times I do need my alone time. So this is something I feel like I need to work on. People respect me, but I don't want them to think I'm a dick or cannot talk to me. I think about this because I did move here a few years back and honestly this year I've been working more on making this my home so I guess I was closed off a bit. Smile more? I have a great smile. Thoughts?
DJOkawari Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 So, similar situation: General size, perceptions, tech job, one on one friends, etc. (brought up by my social butterfly ex) I've been approaching the problem differently, "how to make friends in a non 1 on 1 setting" and "how to make friends in day to day settings" essentially I am aiming to make groups of friends or at least meet people through out my day. I just want to have fun and interact with people. There is a lot of advice online for this stuff but it isn't quite working for me. I feel like I am simply not good enough at it. One aspect is that I don't laugh enough and I actually probably don't like group settings once I am there. Maybe that's you too? Generally speaking I always thought it had absolutely nothing to do with the things you listed but since we're squarely in the same situation, that's food for thought. I am eagerly awaiting the responses.
Tayla Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Be a good listener and watch body language. Both are key indicators when inter acting with others. never miss an opportunity to share a compliment in chat. It lifts ppl when done with genuine regard.
Author Biscous Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 So, similar situation: General size, perceptions, tech job, one on one friends, etc. (brought up by my social butterfly ex) I've been approaching the problem differently, "how to make friends in a non 1 on 1 setting" and "how to make friends in day to day settings" essentially I am aiming to make groups of friends or at least meet people through out my day. I just want to have fun and interact with people. There is a lot of advice online for this stuff but it isn't quite working for me. I feel like I am simply not good enough at it. One aspect is that I don't laugh enough and I actually probably don't like group settings once I am there. Maybe that's you too? Generally speaking I always thought it had absolutely nothing to do with the things you listed but since we're squarely in the same situation, that's food for thought. I am eagerly awaiting the responses. I know I can be an intense person. And I laugh a bit, but my humor is VERY dry. Not to the point of sarcasm or anything, but extremely deadpan lol. I have some really close friends. A female friend of mine totally gets me and laughs at my dry jokes. I've known her for 3 years or so. I have other friends I've known for 5+ years. But me generally being a gregarious person, I kinda lost that since being out of college. At the gym I'm social and that is my comfort zone and in certain social settings. At works it seems I got friends too, but it seems that I can come off as intimidating with my presence but I'm actually a sweet guy to those who really know me. The shaved head and mustache don't help me though Be a good listener and watch body language. Both are key indicators when inter acting with others. never miss an opportunity to share a compliment in chat. It lifts ppl when done with genuine regard. Gotta pay attention to my body language. Seems people think I have a great smile and that is quite disarming so I have been trying to smile more.
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