Biscous Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 I care to an extent simply because I want to be a more approachable person. My girlfriend has said this to me that the consensus of some people that know of me have the following perceptions of me: -good looking -dress well -intimidating -full of myself / think I'm better than everyone. I know I'm an intense person and maybe my presence can make that come off. I'm a tall guy...6'1'' 195lbs, workout and do MMA. I work at a tech company so it's not really common to see a guy like me I guess? I do best one on one with someone. I don't have a lot of acquaintances as I don't want that really. I do have a few friendships that have lasted for several years. I wouldn't consider myself an introvert but there are times I do need my alone time. So this is something I feel like I need to work on. People respect me, but I don't want them to think I'm a dick or cannot talk to me. I think about this because I did move here a few years back and honestly this year I've been working more on making this my home so I guess I was closed off a bit. Smile more? I have a great smile. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
DJOkawari Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 So, similar situation: General size, perceptions, tech job, one on one friends, etc. (brought up by my social butterfly ex) I've been approaching the problem differently, "how to make friends in a non 1 on 1 setting" and "how to make friends in day to day settings" essentially I am aiming to make groups of friends or at least meet people through out my day. I just want to have fun and interact with people. There is a lot of advice online for this stuff but it isn't quite working for me. I feel like I am simply not good enough at it. One aspect is that I don't laugh enough and I actually probably don't like group settings once I am there. Maybe that's you too? Generally speaking I always thought it had absolutely nothing to do with the things you listed but since we're squarely in the same situation, that's food for thought. I am eagerly awaiting the responses. Link to post Share on other sites
Tayla Posted May 18, 2015 Share Posted May 18, 2015 Be a good listener and watch body language. Both are key indicators when inter acting with others. never miss an opportunity to share a compliment in chat. It lifts ppl when done with genuine regard. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Biscous Posted May 18, 2015 Author Share Posted May 18, 2015 So, similar situation: General size, perceptions, tech job, one on one friends, etc. (brought up by my social butterfly ex) I've been approaching the problem differently, "how to make friends in a non 1 on 1 setting" and "how to make friends in day to day settings" essentially I am aiming to make groups of friends or at least meet people through out my day. I just want to have fun and interact with people. There is a lot of advice online for this stuff but it isn't quite working for me. I feel like I am simply not good enough at it. One aspect is that I don't laugh enough and I actually probably don't like group settings once I am there. Maybe that's you too? Generally speaking I always thought it had absolutely nothing to do with the things you listed but since we're squarely in the same situation, that's food for thought. I am eagerly awaiting the responses. I know I can be an intense person. And I laugh a bit, but my humor is VERY dry. Not to the point of sarcasm or anything, but extremely deadpan lol. I have some really close friends. A female friend of mine totally gets me and laughs at my dry jokes. I've known her for 3 years or so. I have other friends I've known for 5+ years. But me generally being a gregarious person, I kinda lost that since being out of college. At the gym I'm social and that is my comfort zone and in certain social settings. At works it seems I got friends too, but it seems that I can come off as intimidating with my presence but I'm actually a sweet guy to those who really know me. The shaved head and mustache don't help me though Be a good listener and watch body language. Both are key indicators when inter acting with others. never miss an opportunity to share a compliment in chat. It lifts ppl when done with genuine regard. Gotta pay attention to my body language. Seems people think I have a great smile and that is quite disarming so I have been trying to smile more. Link to post Share on other sites
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