Ronanana Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Hi everyone, im new here.. And yes i have a problem! I have met this man from a dating, he is 31 and im 24 different cultere. he was so into me.. Now we planned 3 dates and every date i have cancelled because i was not ready. I feel bad about it he bougt me flowers.. He was mad and said he was done with me, but we still talk in the understanding fase. Is there still a chance for us or how can i make it up to him or making him smile????
Redhead14 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Hi everyone, im new here.. And yes i have a problem! I have met this man from a dating, he is 31 and im 24 different cultere. he was so into me.. Now we planned 3 dates and every date i have cancelled because i was not ready. I feel bad about it he bougt me flowers.. He was mad and said he was done with me, but we still talk in the understanding fase. Is there still a chance for us or how can i make it up to him or making him smile???? If you weren't ready the last 3 times, you're not ready now. This make me a little angry as a woman. This kind of thing is what causes so much of the dating hassles people go through. Either you want to date the guy or you don't. If there's doubt, just don't do it. I don't blame him for saying he was done. But, if he's done, you two shouldn't be in contact anymore. All that being said, the fact that he's hanging on makes me question his intentions. A man who keeps "hanging" on to someone who clearly didn't have strong enough interest, either doesn't have options or likes the challenge. And, he likes the challenge until he gets laid, then moves on. It's possible he likes you so much as to keep trying, but I doubt it would work. 1
katiegrl Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Hi everyone, im new here.. And yes i have a problem! I have met this man from a dating, he is 31 and im 24 different cultere. he was so into me.. **Now we planned 3 dates and every date i have cancelled because i was not ready. I feel bad about it he bougt me flowers.. He was mad and said he was done with me, but we still talk in the understanding fase. Is there still a chance for us or how can i make it up to him or making him smile???? *Ready* for what? It was a first meet/date. Can you explain why you weren't ready? And what it would take for you to *be* ready? Of course this guy is done...leave him alone and take some time to figure out what scares you so much about dating.
Diezel Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Dude must be desperate if he asked twice more than needed. Just leave him alone. You just want him now because he doesn't want you anymore. Next time, don't cancel... and if you aren't ready, don't accept.
ExpatInItaly Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Why are you not ready? What is making you hesitate? I would say you're not going to be ready for a 4th re-scheduled date unless and until you identify why you're so anxious about this.
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Until you figure out what you want & are prepared to see it through there is no chance. He's being a great guy if he bought you flowers after your flaky behavior. It's one date. What's the problem?
PegNosePete Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 If you're not ready then you shouldn't be dating in the first place. Stop leading people on. 3
Author Ronanana Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 I know him now for 2 months and i told this man from the beginning that i want to take things slow i have 2 kids, independe, i like him but i dont feel ready for dating any guy. I feel like not that open for a guy sometime i dont know what i want.. He tries to understand me, his questions let me think also. He told me he wants to make steps in life en that we could have a good time together that i have dissapointe him Can i still make him crazy about me? Im dutch btw
katiegrl Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I know him now for 2 months and i told this man from the beginning that i want to take things slow i have 2 kids, independe, i like him but i dont feel ready for dating any guy. I feel like not that open for a guy sometime i dont know what i want.. He tries to understand me, his questions let me think also. He told me he wants to make steps in life en that we could have a good time together that i have dissapointe him **Can i still make him crazy about me?*** Im dutch btw No you can't....leave him alone, it's over. 1
Author Ronanana Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 *Ready* for what? It was a first meet/date. Can you explain why you weren't ready? And what it would take for you to *be* ready? Of course this guy is done...leave him alone and take some time to figure out what scares you so much about dating. Why does he still talking to me do you think?
katiegrl Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Why does he still talking to me do you think? Never mind.........
Toodaloo Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I know him now for 2 months and i told this man from the beginning that i want to take things slow i have 2 kids, independe, i like him but i dont feel ready for dating any guy. I feel like not that open for a guy sometime i dont know what i want.. He tries to understand me, his questions let me think also. He told me he wants to make steps in life en that we could have a good time together that i have dissapointe him Can i still make him crazy about me? Im dutch btw Slow? Slow? Do you have any intentions of ever meeting this guy? The poor devil has been hanging on for 2 months. He has asked 3 times and 3 times you have blown him off! Is he supposed to wait for another year and waste his life asking you out all the time? Leave him alone... This is not fair. Your just leading him on. 1
d0nnivain Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Slow is keeping him away from your kids, not falling into bed immediately & guarding your heart. You agreeing to dates & then cancelling at the last minute is playing games. I have no idea why he is still talking to you. Lack of self esteem on his part is my best guest.
PegNosePete Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 i dont feel ready for dating any guy. Can i still make him crazy about me? Why do you want to make him crazy about you if you're not ready to date any guy? You're acting incredibly selfishly here. Playing immature games. Please, stop it. 4
Toodaloo Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 You're acting incredibly selfishly here. Playing immature games. Please, stop it. Agreed. You are giving women in general a bad name messing him about like this.
caringsister Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I know him now for 2 months and i told this man from the beginning that i want to take things slow i have 2 kids, independe, i like him but i dont feel ready for dating any guy. I feel like not that open for a guy sometime i dont know what i want.. He tries to understand me, his questions let me think also. He told me he wants to make steps in life en that we could have a good time together that i have dissapointe him Can i still make him crazy about me? Im dutch btw If you are not ready to date then leave him alone. He is clearly looking for someone to spend time with and build a relationship with. If you're not on the same page then stop wasting his time .
Redhead14 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 I know him now for 2 months and i told this man from the beginning that i want to take things slow i have 2 kids, independe, i like him but i dont feel ready for dating any guy. I feel like not that open for a guy sometime i dont know what i want.. He tries to understand me, his questions let me think also. He told me he wants to make steps in life en that we could have a good time together that i have dissapointe him Can i still make him crazy about me? Im dutch btw Slow is not about cancelling three dates. Taking things slow is going out with a guy on one date, spreading dates apart and getting to know him over time. But, if you're not ready to date any guy, why in the heck are you stringing this guy along? Are you bored, need an ego boost, etc. because that's how this is going to come across. Can I still make him crazy about me? No, but you will drive him crazy. Be fair to this guy, and cut him loose. This is not right. Get clear in your head about what you want for yourself before you start trying to date people. What I don't understand is why this guy hasn't moved on himself. Even if you get onboard with him, I'd wonder what's going on with him. Sometimes, if a guy knows that a woman doesn't know what she wants and keeps in touch with him, he will play on that indecisiveness and get her to go to bed with him and then drop her.
Gary S Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 You have to be comfortable with a man before you will meet him. At the same time, you can't expect the guy to stay interested when you reject him. Rejection is cruel and unusual punishment. Perhaps you will be ready when another guy asks you in the future. Men are like cars on the street. There will be another one coming around the corner any moment.
Redhead14 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 This scenario is one of the reason people lament that they can't get dates. They are running potential dating partners through such a fine screened filter that nothing gets through. Simple, innocuous statements or actions are being "read" into rather than being supported by actual and in person observation.
Redhead14 Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 This scenario is one of the reason people lament that they can't get dates. They are running potential dating partners through such a fine screened filter that nothing gets through. Simple, innocuous statements or actions are being "read" into rather than being supported by actual and in person observation. Oops, I mean't this for another post . . . Sorry.
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