Epiphany.

[Lizrd3000]

I've realized something just now.

 

 

The reason that I feel *WAY* better than I did in my first break-up, is because I unconsciously decided not to feel sorry for myself this time around, and decided to own up to the feelings and rejection I got during this break-up. I think it has to do with being in control of your own feelings and actions.

 

 

I unconsciously told myself not to be a whiny b*tch and feel sorry for myself, but do something about the things that needs to be fixed, and not to surrender to negative feelings, but to turn them into positive actions.

I think negative feelings is a contributor to positive actions. and positive actions turn into positive feelings.

 

 

Also, forcing myself to do things that I *KNOW* needs to be done, but don't want to do helps with my self-esteem. Whenever I do the things I didn't want to do, but did them anyway, I'm able to tell myself that I'm strong enough to push myself through.

 

 

I feel like as time passes by, I'm getting to know the person who is me. It's so weird to not know yourself, and suddenly getting to know some pieces of yourself.

 

 

Alright, off to bed.

 

 

P.S; I love how writing in a forum instead of using pen and paper is saving trees. I'm starting to become a great environmental activist!

[Lizrd3000]

Today I went to hang out with a girl I thought was fun and attractive while I was dating my ex, but never went beyond that, and never acted out on it. Even put some distance so I'd be sure I wouldn't do stupid things.

 

 

I woke up, feeling excited as I hadn't seen her in a long time. I got up, got out of the house to go to her house, I was 30 minutes early, and we were happy to see each other. But once we went inside, I started to feel anxious and missing my ex. Wondering what she were doing, confused as to why the hell someone can change so much after a break-up, and make it seem like she never loved you. I had this constant hurt in my chest, all the 4 hours I was with the girl I was with.

 

 

I thought my mind would be happy with the fact that I was going to a girl I once was attracted to and liked, but I suddenly lost every feeling I had for her, and I didn't think the time I spent with her today was fun at ALL. I'm just SO confused why this happened. We are good friends and talk to each other about whatever, but today just felt like I didn't want to talk to anyone, including her ofcourse. Why has this happened? I felt OK-ish yesterday, but today I feel like ****.

 

 

Don't feel like working out neither, as I feel there is no purpose. If I don't like the girl I used to like in the past, why would I ever be attracted to a different girl? I'm scared I won't, ever, be able to love someone. Atleast, that's how my heart feels right now. My mind tried to tell my heart otherwise, but it isn't working.

 

 

Tomorrow is my ex's and I monthly anniversary, and Im wondering if she'll try to contact me. Sad thing is, I won't know if she tried. As she's blocked, and I'm not planning to un-block her.

 

 

I just want to be able to go out, forget my ex, have FUN with other girls and actually make an connection, but it feels so hard, even impossible, to bond with someone and make a connection in times like these. and it feels like it'll never pass.

 

 

Depressing post for a depressing day.

Today was not a good day! Hopefully tomorrow will be better.

[Chi townD]

Don't worry about dating right now. That will come in time. The problem was that you went over there hoping to find a connection with someone from the opposite sex. You're not ready to feel that connection yet because you JUST came out of a relationship. You probably still harbor (albeit) small amount of romantic feelings for your Ex and that wasn't fair to the girl you spent the afternoon with. She's a girl and she probably felt your uneasiness with her.

 

 

Going to the Gym IS important. It lets you burn off the stress and frustrations you're having. Plus, if you eat right and get plenty of sleep, you'll be working towards that rock hard and ripped bod that girls definitely like. Trust me, go to the gym and work out hard. The as soon as you hit the door to leave, I want you to stop and think if you feel a little better or not. You might be a little tired and winded, but tell me if you feel better.

[Lizrd3000]

Don't worry about dating right now. That will come in time. The problem was that you went over there hoping to find a connection with someone from the opposite sex. You're not ready to feel that connection yet because you JUST came out of a relationship. You probably still harbor (albeit) small amount of romantic feelings for your Ex and that wasn't fair to the girl you spent the afternoon with. She's a girl and she probably felt your uneasiness with her.

 

 

Going to the Gym IS important. It lets you burn off the stress and frustrations you're having. Plus, if you eat right and get plenty of sleep, you'll be working towards that rock hard and ripped bod that girls definitely like. Trust me, go to the gym and work out hard. The as soon as you hit the door to leave, I want you to stop and think if you feel a little better or not. You might be a little tired and winded, but tell me if you feel better.

 

You're right, I shouldn't be forcing myself to feel a connection with anyone else yet. The girl I was sharing the afternoon with isn't interested in me romantically, but I was wondering if I could be interested in her again. To, ofcourse, get my mind off my ex. But you're right, working out, sleeping and good food seems like a OK way to go about life right now, like I'm investing in my future. I'm going to eat dinner and start working out after I'm done.

 

 

Thanks man, your posts somehow always gives me that positive perspective back! I hope you're doing alright.

 

 

I'll check in when I'm done, and post about how I feel right at that moment, and compare it to how I felt before the workout.

[aloneinaz]

Don't be so much energy and concern into how you feel hour by hour or day by day. Healing takes time. I have to give you BIG kudos for spending some time with someone of the opposite sex. It would be natural to feel a bit un-comfortable in that situation. She was obviously the first girl that you've been around since you ex. Don't beat yourself up.

 

When my ex dumped me, I was a mess. I'd never been dumped. It wasn't the first time she did it either. I said enough. Blocked her and vanished from her life. It took two weeks to eat again and sleep half decent. About a month later I joined a dating site. I was bored and lonely and sitting around thinking of the ex CONSTANTLY wasn't helping me move forward.

 

The first couple of dates I was very anxious. I felt like I was cheating on my ex. I still enjoyed getting out of the house and having the attention from an attractive girl. I slept with a girl who was hot 2 weeks into the dating. I drove home from her house thinking about my ex. I still had a great time with the girl I'd slept with but YOU DON'T hit a switch and stop thinking about an ex you loved right away. It takes time.

 

I met my now 20 month GF 3 months after being dumped. I still thought about my ex but the hurt of the rejection eased each month that passed. I also knew we failed due to her issues. At 6 months post break up, I didn't have any more hurt and the fog had cleared. I was able to think rationally. I knew the relationship was toxic. I no longer missed the relationship or her. I even told her no when she came back for another chance at 6 months. Did I still think of her? Sure, but mainly about her in the sack. She had skills! lol I was over her though and knew I could see her making out with a guy in a bar and would only think "good for her, I hope she's happy".. That's when you know you're healed and over it..

[bubbaganoosh]

Here's the problem. She is way and above more honest with you then you are with yourself.

 

She's told you flat out that she's a flirt, likes to flirt and always will and you can't or refuse to here what she says.

 

So all your doing is hurting yourself and you have no one to blame but you. You mentioned being a door mat. well she isn't making out a door mat, your doing it on your own.

 

My advice is to leave it alone and move on before you cause a lot more damage to yourself. This is all on you friend, no her. Open your ears and eyes.

[Lizrd3000]

I'm about to die.

 

 

The girl who told me about my EX-gf being really flirtious towards a guy just facebooked me, telling me that they met up multiple times, thus had sex multiple times. I knew I should've blocked this random girl. I'm back to day 0. I actually think way more back. I just worked out too, but that's wasted now too, mentally.

 

 

I feel worse than the day after my break-up. Nearly at the point of just deleting my Facebook.

 

 

But no time for self-pity, time to put my big boy pants on. I REALLY COULD USE A FACE TO PUNCH RIGHT NOW THOUGH! any volunteers?

 

 

Just kidding. I'm gonna move forward, f*ck f*ck f*ck my ex. f*ck her.

 

 

Just venting. I'm done. with her and all this f*cking bull****. Time to REALLY move on.

[na49]

Yup, I remember when my ex came back after the guy she left me for dumped her. I stupidly asked if they had sex, and she said that they did. Two weeks after leaving me, she's bouncing on his d*ck, moaning his name, getting it in every direction.

 

There's no magic words I can tell you to make you feel better. Simply block this friend who told you this information. Tell her that you don't want updates on your ex girlfriend before doing it, or just do it if you aren't very close with this girl. You'll survive this man. It's just another step towards accepting it's over.

 

Think about it this way. You weren't going to be the only guy she had sex with. She's young, she'll have sex with plenty of dudes. She isn't the only girl that you will have sex with either. (as hard as it is to believe right now)

[Lizrd3000]

Yup, I remember when my ex came back after the guy she left me for dumped her. I stupidly asked if they had sex, and she said that they did. Two weeks after leaving me, she's bouncing on his d*ck, moaning his name, getting it in every direction.

 

There's no magic words I can tell you to make you feel better. Simply block this friend who told you this information. Tell her that you don't want updates on your ex girlfriend before doing it, or just do it if you aren't very close with this girl. You'll survive this man. It's just another step towards accepting it's over.

 

Think about it this way. You weren't going to be the only guy she had sex with. She's young, she'll have sex with plenty of dudes. She isn't the only girl that you will have sex with either. (as hard as it is to believe right now)

Thanks man, appreciate your thoughts.

 

 

You're right, I'm happy I know you're right, but my heart needs to catch up. The girl meant that my EX-gf cheated on me while we were in a relationship, and up until now she hasn't lied to me a single time. It's just extra hurt on top of the already massive hurt.

 

 

Right now it feels as if I suddenly don't care anymore, it feels as if I just turned numb in these few minutes. Can't really explain, but I guess it's a good thing? kinda scary though.

 

 

 

 

-- I think I need to stop posting so much. Everytime I post something, I'm forced to think and write about my ex, which I think isn't a very healthy thing to do.

[Chi townD]

I'm about to die.

 

 

The girl who told me about my EX-gf being really flirtious towards a guy just facebooked me, telling me that they met up multiple times, thus had sex multiple times. I knew I should've blocked this random girl. I'm back to day 0. I actually think way more back. I just worked out too, but that's wasted now too, mentally.

 

 

I feel worse than the day after my break-up. Nearly at the point of just deleting my Facebook.

 

 

But no time for self-pity, time to put my big boy pants on. I REALLY COULD USE A FACE TO PUNCH RIGHT NOW THOUGH! any volunteers?

 

 

Just kidding. I'm gonna move forward, f*ck f*ck f*ck my ex. f*ck her.

 

 

Just venting. I'm done. with her and all this f*cking bull****. Time to REALLY move on.

 

 

 

Well dude, that's a pretty crappy thing to find out. But, if you look at it outside the box, this friend of hers dimed her out to you because she might think that you're a good guy that doesn't need to be played like that. That you deserve to know the truth so she doesn't string you along like she was probably planning on doing.

 

 

But, you now know the truth. This isn't the girl for you. However, I speculate that if she finds out that her friend told you the truth, she might reach out to you to try and convince you that she was lying. OR! She's going to run with her tail between her legs like the coward that she is.

 

 

I'm thinking the later.

[Lizrd3000]

Well dude, that's a pretty crappy thing to find out. But, if you look at it outside the box, this friend of hers dimed her out to you because she might think that you're a good guy that doesn't need to be played like that. That you deserve to know the truth so she doesn't string you along like she was probably planning on doing.

 

 

But, you now know the truth. This isn't the girl for you. However, I speculate that if she finds out that her friend told you the truth, she might reach out to you to try and convince you that she was lying. OR! She's going to run with her tail between her legs like the coward that she is.

 

 

I'm thinking the later.

I'm thinking it's the latter too.

I'm trying to understand the fact, that 6 months ago, when we were still in a relationship, things were already going on. I just can't seem to find anything that had changed in that time period, other than me becoming less clingy/needy. Maybe because I got myself a backbone and not Always on her beck and call, that she wanted someone else who she'd be able to use like she wants. But I think she just lost interest, and cheated.

 

 

Today was a OK day. Started of as bad, then I went out, my scooter broke down a few days ago, so I had to walk to my gym destination. Worked out, ate healthy and MORE than yesterday(!) and walked to work. After work, walked home from work. I felt good about myself after the workout.

 

 

I decided that *maybe* these few months that I'm going to face, will be hell and I'll probably live like a hermit, but I'll do it meanwhile getting healthy and ripped, and making money. I think when next school year starts, and I'm beter looking than ever, more money than ever, would be the best time for me to socialize. I'm just too tired of unsucessfull nights out, and feeling worse than initially.

 

 

Is this a good idea? Like upgrading myself over a time period of 2/3 months, and when I'm ''upgraded'', take my chances with the other sex and making more friends? Or is this a recipe for disaster?

 

 

Thanks for the reply, Chi!

 

 

PS: this girl who told me the bad news, wasn't a friend of mine, nor my EX's. The girl was the EX of the guy my EX is currently flirting and probably banging with. She's just bitter that her EX-bf was flirting with my EX too. We were in the same boat, haha.

[Lizrd3000]

P.s:

 

 

My Ex-mother in law is being VERY flirtatious towards me. She's Always been like that, but she's very direct after the break up with my and her daughter.

 

 

I love her, but I'd never do things inappropriate like that with her.

 

 

She's sending signs that she wants me to come over when my ex isn't home, so we can talk and ''have fun''.

 

 

What the duck.

 

 

 

 

Now I feel like I lost my ex mother in law too, I feel like she's trying to abuse the situation or something... this sucks!

 

 

( I know for fact she's flirting with me, at some point my ex has actually gotten jealous at the attention she was giving me. I never returned it though.. )

 

 

 

 

Just a post about of a situation I want to remember in the future.

[Lizrd3000]

Day started out good, I was euphoric once I went outside for some reason.

I worked out a bit, and decided I'm gonna dedicate my life to working out for atleast these 3 months, afterwards maybe meet up with my ex and be friends. I realize that we can not be together. (Once I'm over her, atleast)

I can't imagine her not being in my life as a friend, but I'm also realizing that this wish might be a naive one. I know we probably won't be able to be friends. I'll just get jealous at who's she's dating. probably hit the ****er too. haha, just kidding. Not sure tho.

 

 

 

 

Anyways. After work, I got sad and just shut down for some reason.

I think it's because I Always went to her after a work day on sundays. Now I'm just going home. Kinda sad right now. Whatever, have to push through.

 

 

6/10, could've been way worse.

 

 

 

 

Finally REALLY mourned the loss of my relationship. I cried for REAL now. Finally. It finally hurts as it should. It hurts that I know for fact that I'll never kiss my first love again. Even if she wanted to, I'll never be able to. I don't want to, even if I do want to. It hurts that I know she's a good person, but my mind tries to fool me into thinking that she's bad. It's my way of coping. I know she loved me, and still cares about me, but my mind tries to tell me that she never did. and I think it's unhealthy to think this way. It hurts that the one person I gave my first kiss to will never be kissing me again. I'll miss the love we had for each other. It all finally hurts, but it feels good to let it out.

 

 

I hope she'll never forget me either, as I was her first too.

I hope the love we shared wasn't for nothing, I hope she can grow as a individual after this. I hope she'll be happier in the future, because she has Always struggled with depression. and she was being bullied in primary school up till high school. I hope she'll remember that I stood up for her when she got bullied.

 

 

I hope we can both become indifferent towards each other, assuming she hasn't yet. But still keep the happy memoeries and reminisce in the future, if we're able to become friends down the road.

 

 

I just can't get the words she spoke to me at the day we broke up out of my head...

 

 

''you're a beautiful man''... Well, you are too. We both were, but we were just not meant for each other. Maybe in a different world, hopefully.

Edited May 25, 2015 by Lizrd3000

[Lizrd3000]

Alright guys, checking in after approximatly a week of no posting.

 

It's my birthday today! Gracefully left my teens.. I am now TWENTY-years old! Thats two times both hands!

 

Alright, serious bussiness.

 

The past few days I've quit working out at home/in the park, and I signed in at a gym nearby.

 

My days are pretty boring still. I'm just forcefully making myself eat 6-7 meals a day, otherwise I won't eat anything at all. I'm trying to put on weight. My days are somewhat still depressing, I don't really *like* where I am right now, but I feel like I COULD be able to live like this forever. Wouldn't be optimal, but whatever.

 

I'm working out every other day. My goal is to gain atleast 15kg in one year from now. (Started last week) I wany to be like Aziz Shavershian (Zyzz) in four years (MAX).

 

My girlfriend has congratulated my mother on Whatsapp for my birthday, and thanked her for everything, as they hadn't spoken to each other after the breakup. She didn't congratulate me, because I've blocked her on everything.

 

I'm meeting up for a beer with my Ex-mother in law tomorrow. Wonder how that'll turn out.

 

Life is currently 5/10.

[Lizrd3000]

Met up with ex-mother in law.

 

She brought me some presents because it was my b-day yesterday.

she also brought some leftover stuff I left at their house that I told my ex to throw away, but there were some pretty expensive things I left there.

IM SO HAPPY SHE DIDNT THROW THOSE AWAY LOOOL.

 

We talked about how I felt etc, and she asked how I felt about my decision.

I told her everything with pure honesty, that I think it was for the best, and I'm doing alright now.

 

She also asked if I blocked my ex, because my ex noticed that she was blocked or something, so I told her I did, and that I need to not speak to her for sometime. Also told her that maybe (probably) down the road, in a few months, we can be friends and I could have dinner at their place. I think it's possible because my ex and I have been great friends aside from being lovers. I'm also on my way to indifference. My emotions are getting stable (somewhat).

 

I want to keep working out, so when I meet up with my ex in a few months, she'll be amazed by my progress, and hopefully gain some respect for me. I know it's a stupid thing as a goal, but it's something that really motivates me.

 

Today was 6/10.

[Lizrd3000]

Today was a bad day.

I miss her so much, the good times were so much fun, I should've invested more in being attractive, that way she wouldn't have to look for attention from other guys.

Really feel like dying would be great right now.

 

2/10.

[na49]

Rating your days is an interesting touch lol.

 

No matter how much you did, you never could have done enough to make her stay. Once she decided that she wanted to leave, nothing you do could have stopped her. If it did stop her, it would only be temporary, and she'd bail eventually anyway. Take it as a learning experience, but also realize that you will never be able to be the perfect boyfriend. No one is. She wasn't the perfect girlfriend if you can believe it.

 

I know the feeling of wanting to be dead, but try to remember that you're just having a bad day today. I have felt exactly the way you felt, and will feel that way again. Just power through it. I like going to sleep early on my bad days just to end them, and start fresh tomorrow. Do whatever works for you though. You got this sh*t!

[Lizrd3000]

Rating your days is an interesting touch lol.

 

No matter how much you did, you never could have done enough to make her stay. Once she decided that she wanted to leave, nothing you do could have stopped her. If it did stop her, it would only be temporary, and she'd bail eventually anyway. Take it as a learning experience, but also realize that you will never be able to be the perfect boyfriend. No one is. She wasn't the perfect girlfriend if you can believe it.

 

I know the feeling of wanting to be dead, but try to remember that you're just having a bad day today. I have felt exactly the way you felt, and will feel that way again. Just power through it. I like going to sleep early on my bad days just to end them, and start fresh tomorrow. Do whatever works for you though. You got this sh*t!

Thanks for the quick reply, I know you feel the same sometimes, I'm glad you understand, even though I'd love for it to go away for you too, lmao.

 

It's just that, I did ALL the right things today.

I ate so freaking well.

I hung out with 2 female friends.

I worked out with 2 buddy's.

I went out with them to take some dinner, which we never really do.

Skyped with nephew that's on a ship for 8 months for his college.

 

But I felt like ****ing **** the entire time. We walked past a store that sells cheese, and I saw cheese that my ex loved. she loves ****ing every kind of cheese. Which in turn reminded me of the silly times we went cheese tasting in shops but never bought anything.

 

We went to eat dinner at a pizza restaurant me and my ex used to go to. I pathetically hoped she'd be there. I only ate 1/4th of my pizza, and gave the rest to my friends, after a work out when I should be hungry.

 

I just went on facebook, and realized my profile picture is STILL me and her, after 3 weeks after the break up. So I went to look for a picture of myself, only to realize that any normal pictures I have of myself is only on pictures where she's on too.

 

I still haven't changed the FB picture. Gonna have to make a picture of myself tomorrow or something. Doubt I'll be able to. Self esteem is out of the window, I honestly think I'm ugly as f*ck .

 

Also can't get our last convo out of my head, where she said ''we're friends, right?''. How could she say this? Is it really that easy for her...?

 

I also don't think that ''true love'' exists anymore. Or love in general. It's too simple. It's a simple thing designed by evolution, by accident, to increase our survival rates. There's nothing special about love. Nowadays we can physically survive without love. I guess it's easier for some to disregard love than others. I don't think I'll ever get over this state of mind. I feel like it's ingrained now.

 

That's it. I hope I can look back on this in a day or two and laugh as my emotions have completely did a 180.

 

I also hate the fact that; We love a person, **** turns sour, we have to let them go, forget them, and everything that once was is gone, and will NEVER be there again, ever. I really dislike this. I don't think I'm very good at letting go.

 

 

 

I think by doing the things I was doing to focus on myself, I kinda blocked my thoughts and ignored them. Now they came back heavier. I really just can NOT get her face out of my head, whereas a few days ago I couldn't exactly remember all her aspects. I can't get out of my head how she'd put up a sad child face and talk really high-pitched and cute when she hurt herself somehow.

I miss that **** so much man..........

Edited June 2, 2015 by Lizrd3000

[Chi townD]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Hey...wait....isn't Zyzz dead? I don't think you want to be like him! LOL! But, if you're looking to make the same kind of gains that Zyzz made, then you can't be drinking beer and eating pizza!

[Lizrd3000]

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Hey...wait....isn't Zyzz dead? I don't think you want to be like him! LOL! But, if you're looking to make the same kind of gains that Zyzz made, then you can't be drinking beer and eating pizza!

 

Haha true, but Zyzz's spirit lives on, in all of us!

 

Last few days has been sh*t, like I expected them to be. Still did the things I need to be doing etc. Only today I haven't been able to eat as much as I should've wanted me to. I skipped breakfast, and didn't really have a dinner yet, just a banana and a proteine shake. I have to make myself some food but I'm just too lethargic, really don't want to do anything right now!

 

I hope it gets better man, I just feel like talking to my ex constantly. Despite this urge, I'm still in NC since May 18th (Actually it's been since the 14th, but I had to break NC for a brief and bussines-like text message.) Feels like forever though.

 

I mostly just feel lethargic 24/7, I just do things to forget that I'm a walking zombie.

 

Everything I see triggers thoughts about my ex.

Even when I look at the laptop I bought myself 2 months ago, I remember the crappy laptop my ex gave me 1.5 years ago that I've thrown away like a year ago. That's how bad it is. Or, today I went to wok to walk with 2 female friends, and I just order a teriyaki chicken, and I randomly remember how my ex wouldn't take a bite of the food I just ordered, because she's a vegetarian.

 

Today was 3/10. Feel pretty hopeless.

[Yummm]

Well by the sounds of it you're near GMT timezone so you've made it through the day.

 

Also had a pretty ****ty day if you would like to read my thread you can have a look at my situation today: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/530753-much-appreciated

 

But tomorrow will be better! Chin up my friend

[Lizrd3000]

Wanted to edit but couldn't anymore;

 

I feel like I want to become fit and shredded as ***** only for the sake of making my ex realize what she cheated on. But I'm starting to realize it's just not worth it. I'm gonna continue working out the same way as I've been doing though, for my future-self and other girls to come. Don't want a relationship in the upcoming 10 years or so though, not my ex either. I feel like that bridge has completely burned to ashes and swallowed in the sea. As much as I want her back, I can NOT take her back, ever.

 

Forgot to mention I'm becoming very bitter towards everything, especially her.

 

@ Yummm,

 

Thanks man, I do live near GMT, so it's 9:30 PM. But my night is not over yet. I won't be able to sleep until 4AM. I'll have a look at your thread, thanks for the reply.

[SankeCoffee]

"I feel like I want to become fit and shredded as ***** only for the sake of making my ex realize what she cheated on."

 

If this is your goal then you will fail. Do it for yourself, challenge yourself in the gym, you don't grow in the gym until your muscles hit failure, its the same in life. When relationship fails learn from the pros and cons of it and grow from it and apply it to the next endeavors in your life. I am 6'4 220lbs and 11%BF and I got broken up with, it takes much more than physical attraction for a successful relationship. Keep your head up, I know its tough, but its making you stronger, so knuckle up !

[Lizrd3000]

LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL.

My pathetic exgf just Whatsapped in a 1 year old group I am in with 2 other people (guy and girl that are a couple)

She said: Love you guys!! (With a heart, a broken heart, and a heart)

 

I didn't know I could recieve messages from a contact that you blocked in a group chat?

 

Obviously a fail attempt to contact me.

 

Don't know to if I have to:

 

Leave the group

 

or

 

let it die and let it become part of my seemingly bottomless whatsapp chat history of doom.

 

No idea why she did this, actually I do, for attention. Luckily I do not give a ****. Only got a GREAT FKIN LAUGH out of it. pathetic girl.

 

I also deactivated my facebook like 20 minutes ago. Might be why she did this, because Facebook was the only way to communicate with me on the internetz.

 

Pfft. piece of sh*t girl. lmao

[Lizrd3000]

F*ck man. I'm realizing how much I fkn despise her ways.

I'ts not bitterness nor anger. It's weird to describe.

 

 

BTW, my day today was great, sunny weather for the first time in months! My days are seemingly great when there's good weather.

 

Worked out like a beast, met up with ALOT of friends today, and ate well and I'm back on my diet.

 

Rating of the day before my ex's text message: 8/10

Rating of the day after my ex's text message: 8/10

 

not a single f*ck was given.

 

 

 

Edit: This is a milestone. the person I was in my first break up with this girl would think about this as hope, but the me in the now doesn't. I HONESTLY DONT WANT HER BACK GUYS! WHAT A RELIEF! <3

Edited June 4, 2015 by Lizrd3000