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Why does an ex-girlfriend try to make her ex-boyfriend (who she dumped) jealous?

y2k

By y2k
in Breaks and Breaking Up

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y2k Established Member

y2k

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Simple question: Why does an ex-girlfriend try to make her ex-boyfriend jealous (either with other men or any other way)?

 

Could it be that she still has feelings for him, is hurt, and is trying to still have some sort of communication? I suspect a large portion of girls who do this do it because they still feel hurt by their ex-bf. They want their ex-bf to suffer, use the rebound guy, and if the ex-bf plays his cards right, they go back to the ex-bf in time because the girl never really lost her feelings/attraction for the ex-bf.

 

I would love it for others with experience (meaning others who have either had their ex-gf make them jealous only to get back together with them down the road, or ladies who have tried to make their ex-bf's jealous because deep down she still loved him but wanted him to suffer before any chance of getting back together).

dyna85 Established Member

dyna85

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This is just one hypothetical scenario: she maybe still has feelings for the ex and she was a forced dumper so she feels like by making him jealous, he may realize what he's missing, get his act together, and be the guy she truly desired, who would treat her as she deserved.

 

This goes along with your theory, as you can see.

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y2k Established Member

y2k

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This is just one hypothetical scenario: she maybe still has feelings for the ex and she was a forced dumper so she feels like by making him jealous, he may realize what he's missing, get his act together, and be the guy she truly desired, who would treat her as she deserved.

 

This goes along with your theory, as you can see.

 

It makes sense. Then why do many women take on a rebound guy in the meantime?? Isn't that risky??

 

Although you did make sense.

 

I wonder if there are any ladies on here who did try to make their ex-bfs jealous (or go get their attention), but they still deep down inside loved them and eventually got back together with them. Anyone with stories and theories please chime in.

Meli22 Established Member

Meli22

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As someone previously mentioned, they were a "forced dumper" and are perhaps doing it to give the ex a wake up call. All depends on the circumstances.

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y2k Established Member

y2k

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As someone previously mentioned, they were a "forced dumper" and are perhaps doing it to give the ex a wake up call. All depends on the circumstances.

 

It could be the case. But then why do women hop on a rebound guy then? Isn't that risky in that it will make the ex-bf back off?

 

Also what are the chances a woman just does it for her own ego and nothing else? Although I seriously believe that women who try to make their ex's jealous still have serious feelings for them, and there are issues that still exist.

 

Please, I'd love more women who have done this to chime in if possible.

NC-Thomas Established Member

NC-Thomas

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It could be the case. But then why do women hop on a rebound guy then? Isn't that risky in that it will make the ex-bf back off?

 

Also what are the chances a woman just does it for her own ego and nothing else? Although I seriously believe that women who try to make their ex's jealous still have serious feelings for them, and there are issues that still exist.

 

Please, I'd love more women who have done this to chime in if possible.

 

Going for a rebound after dumping is a softens the pain. It's quite easy for most women to get get a random guy and get laid, as well get a new so called "boyfriend". All my 4 ex's have done this and I am still surprised by the shallowness of many women these days.

 

I've been where you have been, I've seen my ex's walk by with their boyfriends kissing passionately right before my eyes and worse on purpose. Actually it's quite sad and shows lack of character in my opinion.

 

Why they do it? Because sometimes things become a personal vendetta / payback time. And people like to show off their new "catch" to make them feel like they have moved on. Mainly to feel better about themselves. But deeper down these people are just hurt and in pain and trying to compensate for that in a shallow manner. Another reason why rebound hardly ever work out.

 

Jealousy is mostly part of low self esteem, but also connected to love. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Jealousy is somewhere in between I guess. It still shows some kind of investment in the old partner, otherwise they just wouldn't care and walk by ignoring you.

 

Infact my ex's trying to make me jealous made me realize I didn't even want them back anymore, because this type of behavior is so shallow, I don't want any part of that anyway.

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y2k Established Member

y2k

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Going for a rebound after dumping is a softens the pain. It's quite easy for most women to get get a random guy and get laid, as well get a new so called "boyfriend". All my 4 ex's have done this and I am still surprised by the shallowness of many women these days.

 

I've been where you have been, I've seen my ex's walk by with their boyfriends kissing passionately right before my eyes and worse on purpose. Actually it's quite sad and shows lack of character in my opinion.

 

Why they do it? Because sometimes things become a personal vendetta / payback time. And people like to show off their new "catch" to make them feel like they have moved on. Mainly to feel better about themselves. But deeper down these people are just hurt and in pain and trying to compensate for that in a shallow manner. Another reason why rebound hardly ever work out.

 

Jealousy is mostly part of low self esteem, but also connected to love. The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. Jealousy is somewhere in between I guess. It still shows some kind of investment in the old partner, otherwise they just wouldn't care and walk by ignoring you.

 

Infact my ex's trying to make me jealous made me realize I didn't even want them back anymore, because this type of behavior is so shallow, I don't want any part of that anyway.

 

I agree to a good extent. If they are indifferent, then it is truly over. Anything else, well the possibility exists to get back together.

 

My curiosity rests on the possibility the ex-gf and ex-bf get back together. Since the ex-gf can't let go 100% (making him jealous means you don't want him to leave), there has to be a way to utilize these feelings the ex has in order to reconcile.

 

And while I agree see these qualities in a girl may seem terrible, the reality is this is the mating game. Women in general do this (especially if they are physically attractive). Education, class, ethnic group.....it all doesn't matter. All attractive women do this. I believe (other than indirect communication) they do this as a sort of test to see how the ex-bf reacts. If the ex-bf reacts with weakness, the girl learns that it was wise to let him go. If the ex-bf reacts with emotional strength (not being phased), then the women, though bothered, will be impressed. Women always test men, whether they realize it or not.

aloneinaz Established Member

aloneinaz

Posted
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If some girl or guy makes a concerted effort to "make the ex jealous" than it painfully obvious they are still not over them. Even if they are pissed or vengeful at the ex, it still means they are carrying a torch for the ex.

 

When I've ended relationships with a girl, she could of sent me a video of her having sex w/a new guy a week later and I could of cared less. I ended the relationship which means I was over her and moving on.

 

I agree it can be pathetic when an ex pulls a blatant stunt like this. Who cares what you're doing now?!?!

NC-Thomas Established Member

NC-Thomas

Posted
Posted (edited)
I agree to a good extent. If they are indifferent, then it is truly over. Anything else, well the possibility exists to get back together.

 

My curiosity rests on the possibility the ex-gf and ex-bf get back together. Since the ex-gf can't let go 100% (making him jealous means you don't want him to leave), there has to be a way to utilize these feelings the ex has in order to reconcile.

 

And while I agree see these qualities in a girl may seem terrible, the reality is this is the mating game. Women in general do this (especially if they are physically attractive). Education, class, ethnic group.....it all doesn't matter. All attractive women do this. I believe (other than indirect communication) they do this as a sort of test to see how the ex-bf reacts. If the ex-bf reacts with weakness, the girl learns that it was wise to let him go. If the ex-bf reacts with emotional strength (not being phased), then the women, though bothered, will be impressed. Women always test men, whether they realize it or not.

 

What is your goal? Are you trying to win her back by utilizing her weakness?

 

Even if you shown strength and don't fall for the whole jealousy things, it doesn't mean you can get her back. I never showed weakness to my exes, I didn't even gave jealous kissing moves 1 second of my attention. Even thought it hurt me bad from the inside.....

 

It not like if she can't get to you by making you jealous that she automatically therefore wants you back because you suddenly appear as the stronger "person".

 

Be strong for yourself. The best revenge you can have is not falling for it and lead a damn good life instead. When she makes a jealous move, just act unimpressed, don't even seem like you react to her. Don't give her a reaction at all!!! Pretend she is ****ing air. Go and do your normal thing and show her you are having fun and the whole act isn't working. Have a happy chat with a fellow guy or even girl for that matter ;-) Once they notice it isnt working, they tend to put less effort in the act. What also might work is just go to her and greet her with a big smile, including her boyfriend. Pretend like you don't, but only if you can really fake it.

 

PS: the girl that made me jealous years ago lost her rebound after 2 years, and I showed up with my new girlfriend at a dancing class. You should have seen her face... :lmao: One day you will be laughing about this all and be in a better place, perhaps with a very nice partner.

Edited by NC-Thomas
hunk Established Member

hunk

Posted
Posted

I had an ex blatantly hook up with one of my closest friends for a few weeks after she dumped me. When we all went out she would purposely make out with him in front of me, purposely get into cabs with him in front of me. One time we were at a friend's house, casually sitting around having drinks, (there was literally about 5 of us) and she in front of everyone was making out with him on the couch and took him to the bedroom, holding his hand while STARING at me. It was ****ing horrific. She then disappeared overseas for about 6 months, came back and was still trying to do this **** and make me jealous, while simultaneously liking everything i post on instagram and fb, until only recently where I can see i've ignored her enough she's basically given up.

 

I now KNOW in my heart, at one point she wanted me back and was miserable over it. Actually, I KNOW she probably still wants me back. This was an ex that ruined my life and sent me into near clinical depression, I would've done absolutely anything to have her back and she is undoubtedly going to be the hottest girl i'll ever be with, and I don't feel a single thing but pity and sadness when I see her now. This was the ex that brought me to LS, and when i look back on the posts about her now i laugh and shake my head.

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