idk if i did the right thing

[Tone Loc]

Hi geronimo

 

It's perfectly understandable what you're going through. With my first relationship, after she left me I texted her every single night for months, lol, never got a reply back. Tried to call her, she never responded.

 

What I'm saying is that I understand why you still want this girl. The real problem here is not how you're feeling, the big problem is that you chose to act on those feelings by meeting up and re-establishing contact. This was the mistake.

 

As hunk said, think about her getting pumped by the new guy every day. She's giving him her body every night, she's opening her legs to him and letting him pleasure her every night, telling him how much she loves him and how happy she is to be with him, probably talking trash about you too. Sorry to get graphic here but let that sink in for a minute. Let that image burn into your head. Once you visualise this image of the two of them getting intimate, you'll be disgusted and probably want to throw up. Like hunk said this is the number one absolute deal breaker, it pretty much guarantees zero chance of reconciliation because even if she comes back begging, pleading, dumps her new guy and comes crawling back, you shouldn't really want to take her back after what's happened. Too much water under the bridge, the damage is done.

 

So yeah, just think about what she's getting up to with the new guy in bed. This is what's happening every day with her and the new guy. The religious argument is complete and utter nonsense by the way, you don't just make an excuse like that then go run to the next man who comes your way and give him your body. I'm not buying that for one second.

 

I completely understand your feelings, I still think about my ex every day, I even broke no contact, I met up with her after breaking up only to be disgusted and shocked at what I found out she was doing with other men. As soon as the image sunk in, I lost any interest in wanting to get back with her, ever. Yeah I'm still thinking about her, but I vowed never to break NC again. Other men spoiled her for me, she's ruined, she gave her body away to others and I've lost all respect for her (there was very little to begin with). I'm not interested in a woman after she's been used by other men, they can have her, ain't my problem anymore.

 

So you really must move on. Nothing more to do or say. I have a feeling you're going to contact and see her again...but please don't. Delete her number, change your number if you can. Block and delete her on all social media, leave yourself with no way to contact her and leave her with no way to contact you. That's what I've done...even if I wanted to contact my ex now, I can't because I have absolutely no way to reach her at all.

 

No one is expecting you to get over her and forget her instantly, it rarely ever happens this way. But what you should be focussing on is maintaining strict and complete NC. Full radio silence. Cut this cancer out of your life once and forever, it's a lost cause. And don't hang onto false hopes, don't entertain the notion of reconciliation because that has disaster written all over it.

Edited May 26, 2015 by Tone Loc

[geronimo]

Hi geronimo

 

It's perfectly understandable what you're going through. With my first relationship, after she left me I texted her every single night for months, lol, never got a reply back. Tried to call her, she never responded.

 

What I'm saying is that I understand why you still want this girl. The real problem here is not how you're feeling, the big problem is that you chose to act on those feelings by meeting up and re-establishing contact. This was the mistake.

 

As hunk said, think about her getting pumped by the new guy every day. She's giving him her body every night, she's opening her legs to him and letting him pleasure her every night, telling him how much she loves him and how happy she is to be with him, probably talking trash about you too. Sorry to get graphic here but let that sink in for a minute. Let that image burn into your head. Once you visualise this image of the two of them getting intimate, you'll be disgusted and probably want to throw up. Like hunk said this is the number one absolute deal breaker, it pretty much guarantees zero chance of reconciliation because even if she comes back begging, pleading, dumps her new guy and comes crawling back, you shouldn't really want to take her back after what's happened. Too much water under the bridge, the damage is done.

 

So yeah, just think about what she's getting up to with the new guy in bed. This is what's happening every day with her and the new guy. The religious argument is complete and utter nonsense by the way, you don't just make an excuse like that then go run to the next man who comes your way and give him your body. I'm not buying that for one second.

 

I completely understand your feelings, I still think about my ex every day, I even broke no contact, I met up with her after breaking up only to be disgusted and shocked at what I found out she was doing with other men. As soon as the image sunk in, I lost any interest in wanting to get back with her, ever. Yeah I'm still thinking about her, but I vowed never to break NC again. Other men spoiled her for me, she's ruined, she gave her body away to others and I've lost all respect for her (there was very little to begin with). I'm not interested in a woman after she's been used by other men, they can have her, ain't my problem anymore.

 

So you really must move on. Nothing more to do or say. I have a feeling you're going to contact and see her again...but please don't. Delete her number, change your number if you can. Block and delete her on all social media, leave yourself with no way to contact her and leave her with no way to contact you. That's what I've done...even if I wanted to contact my ex now, I can't because I have absolutely no way to reach her at all.

 

No one is expecting you to get over her and forget her instantly, it rarely ever happens this way. But what you should be focussing on is maintaining strict and complete NC. Full radio silence. Cut this cancer out of your life once and forever, it's a lost cause. And don't hang onto false hopes, don't entertain the notion of reconciliation because that has disaster written all over it.

 

Yeah those thoughts have crept up about her being with the new guy intimately, and it disgusts me, makes me sick. You're right tho I dont think I would ever be able to get over that fact that she left me for him and was in bed with him and w/e and if she were to ever come back I would never be able to let that go.

 

I have already deleted her off everything did that a month or 2 into the breakup and haven't added her and won't do so. I still have her number deleted off my phone but the problem is I have it memorized so that doesn't really help.

 

The thing is though, you know how you said you met up with your ex and were shocked and disgusted by what she did with her new guy. I thought it would be the same with me and my ex, however when we met up she (on her own) reassured me that nothing really happened between her and her new guy, I didn't push on it much cuz I dont really want to know and I acted like I dont care but yea. Also the fact that they barely talk to eachother and see eachother means all they have ever done is make out lol, then again I have no idea wtf she is doing with her life and she may as well be lying to me.

 

But don't worry I promise I wont contact her again, unless she is straight up with her intentions of getting back together and is sincerely apologetic about what she has done. Even then tho man idk cuz sure we had alot of love in the beginning but over the past year before the breakup i realized she didn't seem all that into the relationship, be it she wanted to experience what else is out there or w/e but its just wrong. I had always loved her 110% and never strayed and I deserve someone who gives me that same love and respect and honestly she never gave that to me. I'm not an insecure guy but she did make me feel very insecure at times.

 

I guess I'm starting to accept that this is truly over and she isn't all that as I had made her out to be in my head. Hopefully I will find the girl of my dreams and I can forget my ex ever existed (or not care about her existence).