Bluemug Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Ok, I guess it's obvious from my last few posts that I don't do well with dating. I almost married a horrible man and since then, I seem to have bad luck. Now, I'm talking to a new guy. On the surface he's really nice, successful, busy, artistic...you name it, ticks a box and even challenge my usual type a little. He's away on business this weekend, and in fact had a massive project for the last few weeks ( I know this much is true as he linked me to his website etc). But...I can't deal with this zero communication, zero meet up... I've told him several times I don't want a pen pal. How do I relax? I've been super busy but I just can't seem to let it go. Seen my friends, shopped, been to gym. It's bugging me. Should i move on? What's my next move?
j_mysterio Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 0 communication can be good. You should be happy and looking forward to speaking to him again. What you need to do? Chill out and quit being controlling. Be happy. 1
Author Bluemug Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Controlling? I haven't made contact all weekend as that's the last thing I wanted. He's busy. I get that. Chilling out, not good at that 1
j_mysterio Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 I meant controlling as in this matter is out of your hands. There's nothing you can do but ride it out and see what happens. Youre not in control, he has the upperhand right now and that bothers you. I def think its too early to move on. He may be testing you... Ya never know. Nothing is unattractive when a girl can't control her emotions towards something they aren't in control of. You listed the things you did to keep him off your mind... You didn't mention the things you did for yourself. 1
j_mysterio Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Also... Imagine that first text when HE gets a hold of YOU. It's going to feel great. He wants you in his life.... Dont force it. You'll be way happier. 2
Author Bluemug Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Good point, thanks! Yeah in hindsight, maybe I didn't do a lot for me. Maybe sleep....see friends, call parents . Hmmm. Well, I guess I'll wait it out. Who knows. 1
Satu Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Keep an open mind and an open heart. The future is not decided.
j_mysterio Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Well make sure you update! Lol I ask a lot of ridiculous questions on this forum. I over analyze everything and get confused easily when it comes to interactions with a girl lol its easier on the outside to see it clearly. 1
Satu Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 I like to use Evidence Based Thinking: "If there's no evidence of a problem, proceed under the assumption that there is no problem." That works well for me. 2
Author Bluemug Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 I like to use Evidence Based Thinking: "If there's no evidence of a problem, proceed under the assumption that there is no problem." That works well for me. This is very true! Our last convo he was eager to get home so we could meet. Hmm, i think I'm paranoid because I don't want to get over attached. I like someone and they tend to disappear. It's catch22- push people away, lose person, hurt. Don't push person away, something happens, hurt. Sucks. Over analysing is the devil! So hard to stop too 2
j_mysterio Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Well put your big girl pants on. You got this. Lol 2
Author Bluemug Posted May 17, 2015 Author Posted May 17, 2015 Well make sure you update! Lol I ask a lot of ridiculous questions on this forum. I over analyze everything and get confused easily when it comes to interactions with a girl lol its easier on the outside to see it clearly. Will defo keep you posted I know what you mean! I lurk here a lot when I know I'm being overanalitcal and in danger of doing something stupid. Then it happens anyway. Grr 2
Satu Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 [quote=Bluemug;6327829 *Over analysing is the devil! So hard to stop too *Its something you can work on and improve. Try the evidence based approach. If you can stay in the present more it really helps. The future doesn't have to be like the past! Besides that, the present is the only place where you can have fun 1
katiegrl Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Ok, I guess it's obvious from my last few posts that I don't do well with dating. I almost married a horrible man and since then, I seem to have bad luck. Now, I'm talking to a new guy. On the surface he's really nice, successful, busy, artistic...you name it, ticks a box and even challenge my usual type a little. He's away on business this weekend, and in fact had a massive project for the last few weeks ( I know this much is true as he linked me to his website etc). ***But...I can't deal with this zero communication, zero meet up... I've told him several times I don't want a pen pal. *** How do I relax? I've been super busy but I just can't seem to let it go. Seen my friends, shopped, been to gym. It's bugging me. Should i move on? What's my next move? Excuse me peeps who have already responded, but Blumug have you ever even met this guy? Like in person? Had a date? In reading the above, it does not appear you have...can you please clarify? Zero communication combined with zero meet up = zero interest. I say lose his number and move on....
j_mysterio Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 The fact she said shes not good with "dating" is what made me assume that they are together. good point though!
La.Primavera Posted May 18, 2015 Posted May 18, 2015 Loose his number and start dating other people before you become more invested in this guy. Find someone who meets your needs and makes you happy.
Author Bluemug Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 Excuse me peeps who have already responded, but Blumug have you ever even met this guy? Like in person? Had a date? In reading the above, it does not appear you have...can you please clarify? Zero communication combined with zero meet up = zero interest. I say lose his number and move on.... Nope we haven't met - talked for two weeks, both away at other ends of country last weekend and he was out the country this weekend. Week days didn't work this week for many reasons.. I think he's lost interest. That's what my gut is telling me. Friends tell me to wait it out. I dunno
Author Bluemug Posted May 18, 2015 Author Posted May 18, 2015 He's been in touch; back from work trip and tired. Told him I'm debating asking him to coffee. If he doesn't make a move to plan with me then it's over. Can't be a pen pal to someone!
Recommended Posts