fire Posted April 23, 2005 Posted April 23, 2005 feeling really sad and lonely and rejected by everyone, just been dumped about a month ago, but since then wanted to reestablish a friendship as i think it is strange to spend time with somebody and enjoy their company and then just nothing, no communication. however he has made it clear he doesnt even think i am worthy of friendship. this has really knocked me, also other things such as bad relationship with family and a one night stand i ended up having to try and get over this guy and the one night stand guy ignoring my contact. he was a friend first also and i am upset that he ignored me as a friend, obviously worried i wanted more. i just feel really low, does anybody have any advice-please dont tell me to go out and meet other people, this is not an option for me, i had a business that crashed, i now owe a lot of money and am trying to rebuild my business. as a result i have to work nearly all the time and cannot afford such luxuries as going out very often, neither with time nor money. i need a way to feel better which doesnt involve other people. a change of perspective about these things.
AngelEyz Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 fire i am so sorry. he sounds like such a prick. If you do not want to get out then what about buying a book on meditation or work on your spiritual self? I really like a purpose driven life by rick warren. you will get through this.
greenhorn Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 you know what, there are few things we can change and there are few things which we can't change and we have to accept it. It might be difficult to accept but we need to accept it , how ever hard we try,how ever we fight but nothing is going to change so earlier we accept it better it is... so my advice is that accept your past, what has happened has happened. It must be feeling bad I know that but there is no way to come out of it rather than going through it... I think if you are concentrating more on your business then it is a good thing, devote all your time on it, after all what ever you will put in your business you will get some outcome, our career and our education is the only thing which always remains loyal to us. You will feel bad and feel like crying so I would suggest that when you feel like crying sit and cry for an hour and then get up drink a cup of coffee and get back to your work.Change the things which you can and make a resolve not to be dependant on others for your needs be it emotional or economical. When you become dependant is when you expose yourself to be dumped. Put more mind on your business. I don't know how much my words will help you , cause I am not conditioned to speak sweet words, the realities of life has made me harsh so I say things bluntly. I wish all the best for you and pray to God that you feel better.. good luck fire..
fire Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 thankyou bothfor your replies, yes of course they were both helpful, anybody who offers a kind word from the good of their hearts is helpful. thankyou for the book recommendation (always welcome), not wanting to be a poor me but i really am broke i will save up for that book and there are others ( a whole list in fact) that i am saving for. yes working on my spiritual self is something i have been doing anyway and will continue to do. i just read the guide for the long walk by no foolin and he is right about working on yourself and the reasons why you needed that relationship and the reasons you feel so destroyed when it ends. i know that it is my problems with my family that cause me the upset much more than the relationships with men. i know i need to do something about this but find it hard to know what to do.
Fallen_Angel Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 I think throwing yourself into your work is a great way to start, Fire. If you spend all your energy on work each day, by the time you go to bed at night you'll be too exhausted to stay up tossing & turning while dwelling on your ex (who, I must admit from the info you've divulged, sounds like a jerk). If you can't afford to buy books right now, go to the library or sit at a Barnes and Noble or Borders for a few hours and grab some coffee and a good book. I recommend The Break-Up Repair Kit by Marni Kamins and Janice MacLeod. Reading is a great escape. I'm an avid reader and I know I've lost touch with that part of myself. Well, now that I suddenly have all this spare time... Hehe. Right now I'm reading The Devil Wears Prada. One of the great things about fiction is you can always find a good book about a character whose life is as different from yours as it gets - the protagonist in this particular book is working for a maniacal woman who makes crazy demands such as having the latest Harry Potter book flown to her two children via a private jet to Paris two days before the book hits the shelves! Plus, reading is a great way to lull you to sleep. Do you have any friends who can help you? I myself don't have the network of friends I once had but I do have a few people in my life who have been incredibly helpful during this absolutely rotten time. One of the things I keep telling myself to do is to take this all one day at a time. Some days are alright, and other days are awful, but hey, I've made it 21 whole days and I'm still getting out of bed each morning and putting on clothes that don't clash. Take time to spoil yourself - you're worth it! And absolutely keep posting. Venting is so helpful, and it's also great to share everyone else's stories as well.
ConfusedInOC Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Originally posted by AngelEyz fire i am so sorry. he sounds like such a prick. If you do not want to get out then what about buying a book on meditation or work on your spiritual self? I really like a purpose driven life by rick warren. you will get through this. Rick's a great guy, runs a great Church (I attend it weekly!) and his book is a must read if you are a Christian.
fire Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 thankyou everyone for all the book recommendations, that is great, i always forget about the library for some reason! i will make a list of all of these books and many others on my wish list and get down there. i dont have many friends and although the ones i do are great they are all cosy and coupled up. thats okay though i really can see myself huddling in my cave surrounded by good books all free from the library-thanx you all are right, he is a prick, what hurt me is that i didnt do anything wrong, he ended things said he felt nothing for me and although it was rather painful to hear such things i did not go crazy, said i was glad he told me truth said i did not want to speak with him based on information i had just recieved. i then did nc for a month, just recently last few days i thought i would contact and ask how he was, he barely spoke and when i asked if he wanted to still be friends he did not answer. he then ignored any further contact i tried to make that evening! i mean i did nothing wrong! thats what gets me, i did not cause any ugly scenes i did not even go crazy at him and considering the way he ended things i think i did good to keep my cool! he did not even end it in person either, over messenger!! so yeah he is a prick an a jerk and any other name anyone can think of, be my guest. thats okay i just made the best decision in my life to keep away from anyone who makes me feel bad that includes family etc i arent gonna feel guilty about it i just gotta say this time is for me and heal myself and my life and my business! thankyou everybody for taking the time to read and reply to my thread xx
fire Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 fallen angel, you sound really really strong, keep going you are doing good
RecordProducer Posted April 24, 2005 Posted April 24, 2005 Welcome to the club! We've all been through it. A chain of sh*t happens at the same time and you don't feel like doing anything but crying and dying...It will go away, dear. Try to cheer yourself up somehow. Do what makes you happy. Oh, and the one-night stands - also sound soooo familiar!
fire Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 thanks RP, yeah sometimes s*** happens but sometimes it does give you great opportunities to be creative with your life. good wishes to you all xx
Fallen_Angel Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 He dumped you over messenger?!?! (Pardon me while I freak out.) This happened to me once. Granted, the "relationship" only lasted a month so I admittedly was a bit more immature emotionally at that point in my life. But still...can I just say... COWARD!!! [size=0]Ahhh that felt good. You definitely don't deserve someone like that. Repeat those words to yourself at least once a day. You deserve someone who will treat you, and your relationship, with respect. Funny you should mention me being strong. A lot of people have said that, including my ex. I must be the only one who doesn't see it.
purple21 Posted April 25, 2005 Posted April 25, 2005 fire - it may not feel like it now but you will get through this - it's only been a month and even though he was a jerk you will still have those times when you are really upset - but they get less and less as time passes I had to move home for a couple months after my ex dumped me - I watched a lot of movies (Blockbuster has that movie pass now that is pretty reasonable and you can rent as many as you want) and went to the library and got out tons of fun chick lit which I would spend hours reading. On May 1st it will be a year since we broke up - damn time flies - I'm way over the break up at this point - in our case the breakup was bound to happen and I should have done something about it a long time ago - but now we are friends and even talk about our dating adventures. But of course this year has been hard - I feel you having no money - that is my problem - went part time last year at work and went to graduate school - job wouldn't let me back full time and I ended up quitting school but all my bills are months overdue and it's very stressful - and also found out I'm getting laid off - also had my heart broken by a couple jerks along the way as well. So you will get through the breakup - it will be hard at times - but try to keep busy - that seems to be the best - as time passes things will get better - ls always helps too Good luck with the business and stay strong!!!
fire Posted April 26, 2005 Posted April 26, 2005 yes fallen angel over messenger! i know!! thanks purple, sounds like you have had a bad time too, no money sure does suck. you'll get back to where you were, i too had to quit my degree due to financial pressures. at least when we get there, we wont have to turn round and thank anyone!!
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