Gaeta Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 If I look around at people that I know that are in relationships, they all had to put up with a minimum of BS to get there. I am not talking abusive behavior but small bs. Example: One of my friend's GF is loaded with money but will never pay for dates or trips. It annoyed the heck out of him for months but worked through it, now he's in love with her and after 1,5 year together they're happy. Example: My girl friend and her BF had a really rocky start. The first 6 months of their relationship I think they broke up each 2 months. They're both bad communicators and would repetitively hurt each other's feelings. Slowly they worked through things and are now a happy couple, 1,5 year later they just moved in together and she is happy. See, I would not put up with example 1 or 2. Actually I would not put up with much and I think that's why I am alone and have been alone for a long time. So I want to hear what's the small bs you did put up with at beginning and you glad you did?
katiegrl Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 If I look around at people that I know that are in relationships, they all had to put up with a minimum of BS to get there. I am not talking abusive behavior but small bs. Example: One of my friend's GF is loaded with money but will never pay for dates or trips. It annoyed the heck out of him for months but worked through it, now he's in love with her and after 1,5 year together they're happy. Example: My girl friend and her BF had a really rocky start. The first 6 months of their relationship I think they broke up each 2 months. They're both bad communicators and would repetitively hurt each other's feelings. Slowly they worked through things and are now a happy couple, 1,5 year later they just moved in together and she is happy. See, I would not put up with example 1 or 2. Actually I would not put up with much and I think that's why I am alone and have been alone for a long time. So I want to hear what's the small bs you did put up with at beginning and you glad you did? Well you know what Shakespeare said, right? "The course to true love never did run smooth." I think it's important to be flexible. Remaining rigid makes one old...in body and spirit. I don't have many dealbreakers....but I do have a few. Lying/deception, disingenuousness/insincerity, cheating, rigidity. Anything else we can work through... good communication takes time to develop, especially when strong emotions are involved. I broke up with my bf a couple times myself when we first started out. Same thing as your friends, he said something to hurt my feelings, and I reacted by overreacting and broke up with him. Definitely not my best moments... ugh. But with every fight, misunderstanding, and/or break up... we always learned something new about each other which was (is) good and positive! But again, that can only happen when both people are open-minded and flexible. 1
preraph Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 Some people just put up with more than others because they need people around more. I have a sweet friend who just doesn't like to be alone and she puts up with a lot.
Shepp Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 If you cant bend you'll break. If you try and swim up stream your whole life, you'll never get to that goal, I don't advice being a push over but flexibility is a good solid attribute to be blessed with and to practice. No ones perfect! Most certainly not me! And no relationship will be without its BS as you put it! With my wife, I accepted a lot at the start, I accepted the knock backs, the "i love you way to much to go out with you's", the way she'd come to family BBQ's and play table tennis with my nephew, look at photos of me as a kid with my mum, and make me feel like we were close to starting something.. and then go on a bender and sleep with some random guy the same night. But for how it ended up - I'd do it all again and then some!! She's worth it! And you'd look at us now from the outside eye, married, kids, happy and you'd say we were your perfect happy little family. And we are, i'm the luckiest man on the planet but I still accept a certain amount of BS... I accept that she's moody, can't predict it, I just ignore it and in an hour or so she'll cheer up again. I accept that she's a super straight shooter, hell I even love her for it! But I accept that she'll never cut me a break. I accept that she has to have the best parking space even though I drive out earlier in the morning than she does I accept the fact that she's genuinely always right - I mean how annoying is that! But the point is, you'd look at us like oh aren't they happy, and we are! I'm ecstatic! I love that girl with all my heart! I've never been so happy! 'Love thy crooked neighbour, with all thy crooked heart' after all! You take BS in any relationship to a point! I accept the fact my brother is just Mr Golden boy, and he knows it but he's still my brother, and one of my best friends. I accept the fact one of my very best friends has some questionable morals when it comes to relationships I accept the fact that a school friend of mine who's a genuinely good guy is very prone to... fabricating the truth? I accept the fact my boss can jump on mistakes quite quickly and doesn't always notice the above an beyond you do. Life is full of vary amounts of BS.. you should never take too much but equally you should be capable of taking a little else you'll struggle to maintain a close, lasting, relationship on any level.
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