gomes. Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 We both are 26/27 years old. So this girl was taking a huge interest in me, she always initiated contact with me in person and over text messages, and our conversations usually last for quite a long time, and we both enjoyed chatting with each other and had lots in common. I was passive there and then and just let her do the talking and initiating contact. I just considered her a friend at that point. At first I was not sure if I liked her or not (I did not want this to be some fling or random date), anyways SHE asked me out 3 times over the space of a few months. First 2 times I was not free on those days and I told her that, she played it cool and replied positively and such. On the 3rd time she asked me out I accepted it and we fixed a date. But few hours before the date she called me and cancelled the date because of some personal family matter (which was a true story and not some excuse just to cancel the date). After that 3rd cancelled date, few weeks later --- since we had so many good conversations, long exchanges over text messages and I was starting to feel really attracted to her, I decided to ask her out on a date. She gladly accepted without hesitation. I picked her up at her house and took her for lunch, and when I was dropping her back to her house after lunch she asked me if I wanted to come in for a while. We ended up spending the rest of the afternoon (about 4 hours) chatting in her house. We didn't have sex or kiss. But we both had a really good time and really clicked and had lots in common and enjoyed ourselves. I texted her after I reached home that day and said thanks etc. and that I had a great time. She replied back very positively and said she had a great time also, and we had a good text conversation that night. Anyways after that I am now really attracted to her and now I want her to be my girlfriend. So over the next 2 weeks we were texting each other, and our conversations are still very engaging and long, and she takes alot of interest in me and in the conversations, and she was dropping hints for a 2nd date. She's an athlete and she told me that she is going to some sports clinic for a checkup the following week, and that her car is under repair so she will take public transport (which is a hassel from her house, its like 3-4 interchanges between trains and possibly a bus). Anyways I offered to give her a lift that day and she gladly accepted it. Her checkup was on a weekday and I actually took a day's annual leave to take her to the sports clinic, and she was very touched by that and said thanks. I thought its a nice way of showing my commitment to this relationship. She mentioned (not me) that we should have dinner together that night after her checkup. I said sure, and all was set. From here on it all gets weird. So 3 days later, on the night before her checkup -- she texted me and said that I don't need to give her a lift to the clinic, and that she will borrow her neighbour's car to drive to the clinic. Obviously, I said its fine and that I'm more than happy to give her a lift. She replied back and said its fine and gave some weird reasons why she should drive herself. Anyways I replied back a 2nd time and told her I'm very commited to take her and its not a hassle for me. She replied back very positively to me, agreed to let me take her and said thanks and that she'll see me the next day. Is she just testing me here to see if I'm really commited to her or is there a deeper meaning? Anyways next day when I picked her up, she had quite a bad sore throat and I asked how many days had she been sick and she said 3-4 days. But we still proceeded to the sports clinic, she didnt cancel her appointment. Why didn't she tell me she was sick earlier? I only found out when I picked her up. My thinking is that if she didn't want me to give her a lift she would just tell me the day before she is sick. When we reached the sports clinic and sat down waiting for her turn, she told me that I can go to the nearby shops/town center opposite the clinic and that she'll call me when she's done and I can pick her up. I said its fine and I'll accompany and wait with her. Then she started taking out her phone and started texting her other friends and playing games on her phone, trying to ignore me (it seems). When I tried to make conversations with her she does reply but she always trys to end the conversation and continue using her phone. This happened for 4-5 hours at the clinic! Anyways I played it cool and kept her company the whole time. After her checkup I asked if she wants to still have dinner and she said yes, so we proceeded and had a good dinner and conversation. She still was using her phone alot (seems to be doing it on purpose), but to a lesser extent compared to the clinic. During our first date she almost never used her phone. After dinner I dropped her back home. About an hour later, she texted me and asked if I had reached home and said thanks for taking her today. From here, for the next 3 weeks I've been initiating contact -- she replies back to my text messages fast and in a (still somewhat) positive tone, but she always seems to be cutting off the conversations very fast after a few mins. Before it could last 30mins-1hr per conversation. I asked her out again but she said she had something on that night. Continued initiating contact with her, she never ignores my text messages and replies back fast but after a few mins she will end the conversation. Then yesterday after I texted her for a while, she brought it up out of nowhere that next month she will be going back to the sports clinic for another checkup (She knows that I know that her car is now fixed and she can drive). She has been injured for a few months but she has almost recovered, and I asked her when she is resuming her athletics training, and her exact reply was "Starting middle of next month. I will do some light jogging myself first." ------------------------------------------- So I'm wondering, why has she been ignoring me, playing with her phone on the 2nd date, cutting our conversations short since our 2nd date? Up till then all was going well. Is she playing hard to get? Is she still interested in me? Why did she bring up yesterday about her next checkup and that she is going to do some light jogging herself? Are these hints?
introverted1 Posted May 17, 2015 Posted May 17, 2015 So you had Date #1 2-3 weeks ago, no kiss or hug, and still haven't set a date #2? And in between there was this stuff with the trip to the sports clinic? Is that the timeline? If so, my reaction is that you friend-zoned yourself and you need to move on.
Recommended Posts