So my girlfriend and I are taking a break now...is there hope?

[sirtyner]

Okay, so my girlfriend broke up with me yesterday. We had been dating for 3 months and everything seemed to be going fine. We both loved each other and whatnot and there were very little arguments. Anyways yesterday she told me that she didn't think the relationship was fair to me. She told me the reason why she was breaking up with me was because I loved her more than she loved me and that I was putting more effort into the relationship than she was. However today she wanted to talk about things. She says she still has feelings for me and that we went into the relationship to fast. She suggest we take a break from the relationship. So is there hope? I still love her and she obviously still has major feelings for me. Also she told me she didn't want to break up but she had to.

[aloneinaz]

Heres the deal. You've been dumped. She nicely said she doesn't want to date you anymore and she wants to date other people she'll feel more connected to.

 

What you need to do- Move on. Put her on ignore. Delete/block and have no further contact with her. Any further contact will be simply drama, nothing more. Prevent that from occuring.

 

It was only 3 months. Shake it off and go find someone else.

 

It happens to all of us.

[d0nnivain]

This is the same Q you posted yesterday. Yesterday you said it was over. Now you are saying it's time off.

 

First breaks are tests drives for break ups. They are employed by people with little ability to make decisions who don't know their own minds.

 

They don't work. If two people have any hope of fixing what is wrong in the relationship, they have to interact together to talk & work it out. Silence & separation make things better, not worse.

 

That said her reasoning is immature. You have only known each other 90 days. She may be lying about the reason in an effort to let you down gently but she could also be overwhelmed. Are you smothering her? What have you done to make her think you love her more than she cares about you? Unfortunately that's not the kind of thing you can talk your way back from. The very act of you chasing her to tell her you are willing to back off proves her point that you are too much.

[organizedchaos]

Who needs to take a break after 3 months? How can you be "in love" already? Of course there were very little to no arguments. There wasn't enough time to have one!

 

Sounds like things moved way too fast for her, and maybe you were too clingy, and she bailed.

 

Move on.

[Ruby65]

If she breaks up with you, then calls the next day and suggests changing it to just a break instead, it sounds to me like she's having second thoughts and looking for a way to keep her options open.

 

There could be another guy on the horizon she's unsure about. It could be that you were too clingy/needy and that turned her off, but having slept on it she's also thinking of all the things about you she really liked, so she's torn.

 

Regardless of what's going on in her head, your best move is to back away completely. Assume the worst -- that this is a permanent breakup -- and act accordingly. Stick to No Contact. That's going to help you heal the fastest and also let her experience the consequences of having broken up with you.

 

It's foolish to agree to a "break" -- it only keeps you in painful emotional limbo while making it easier on her because she's got you there as a safety net.

 

Here's a guide that will help you: http://www.breakuprecoveryguide.com

 

Good luck to you!

[hunk]

This one's over son. Take some control and tell her it's over and get your testicles off the chopping block because right now they're firmly clamped there. It's done. 3 months and you're telling her you love her? Too much too soon and she's just not feeling it most likely. If she has "major feelings" this will work to your benefit by sparking something back up inside of her, she might see you as a sexual object of desire again if you show her you're not into this "break" garbage and you're either together or you're not. If you just sit around awaiting her to make a decision you're done. This is your only hope, and even then it's pretty much grasping at straws.